‘The One with Ross's Wedding (Part 2)’
Season 4, Episode 24 - Aired May 7, 1998
When Rachel realizes she still has feelings for Ross, she decides to head to London and tell Ross how she feels about him. Stuck in New York, Phoebe does all she can to try stop Rachel ruining the wedding. Meanwhile, Monica is upset when a party guest thinks she's Ross's mother, and Ross tries to keep the peace between his and Emily's parents.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: No, no! I'll be nice, I swear. Could you just give me the number for where they are?
The Housekeeper: I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
Phoebe: Okay, look. Somebody is on their way to ruin the wedding, and I have to warn somebody. All right. So if you don't give me that number, then I'm gonna come over there and I'm gonna kick your snooty ass all the way to New Gloucenshire! Hello? Hello? She knew I could kick her ass.
Quote from Phoebe
The Housekeeper: The Waltham residence.
Phoebe: Hi. Is this Emily's parents' house?
The Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And, by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses a person on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Phoebe: [in a British accent] This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if it's not too much trouble, please, might I speak with Miss Emily Waltham, please?
The Housekeeper: Miss Waltham is at the rehearsal dinner. And it is not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: And so then I realized, all the stuff that I had been doing proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn't come to the wedding was all just a way-
Guy on the Plane: Oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm sorry, can I interrupt? I just want to say that you are a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: Pardon me?
Guy on the Plane: You say you love this man, and yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of his life. I'm afraid I have to agree with your friend "Pheebs". This is a terrible, terrible plan.
Rachel: But he has to know how I feel.
Guy on the Plane: But why? He loves this, this Emily person. No good can come of this.
Rachel: Well, I think you're wrong.
Guy on the Plane: Oh, no. [bites his fist] And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break.
[Rachel gasps]
Quote from Ross
The Registrar: Friends, family, we are gathered to celebrate the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness of today be with them always. Now, Emily, repeat after me. l, Emily-
Emily: l, Emily-
The Registrar: Take thee, Ross-
Emily: Take thee, Ross-
The Registrar: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health till death parts us.
Emily: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health until death parts us.
The Registrar: Now, Ross. Repeat after me. I, Ross-
Ross: I, Ross-
The Registrar: Take thee, Emily-
Ross: Take thee, Rachel- Emily! Emily!
The Registrar: Shall I go on?
Quote from Jack Geller
Jack Geller: There's no way in hell I'm paying for it.
Ross: Look, we're down to just one point. Could we please maybe just settle it after the wedding?
Jack Geller: All right. Fine, but I just want to say I'm not paying for your wine cellar you thieving, would-be-speaking-German-if-it-weren't-for-us, cheap little man!
Quote from Jack Geller
Judy Geller: There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar.
Steven Waltham: You have to meet me in the middle here.
Jack Geller: Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foot's gonna meet the middle of your ass.
Quote from Judy Geller
Jack Geller: You tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Judy Geller: Ooh, Jack. Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. [Jack and Judy kiss]
Monica: And I'm gonna go get drunk.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: When is your next flight to London?
Ticket Agent: There's one leaving in 30 minutes.
Rachel: Oh, good.
Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.
Rachel: Oh. Thank you, thank you.
Ticket Agent: The last-minute fare on this ticket is $2700.
Rachel: Ugh. I don't think I have enough left on my credit card.
Ticket Agent: Well, you can split it with another credit card.
Rachel: Oh, okay. How about five? Thank you.
Ticket Agent: I'm just going to need to see your passport.
Rachel: Okay, you know what. I don't have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my nightstand. You know what? I have my driver's license. And I have a 20. [Rachel slides the $20 to the agent, who slides it ride back]
Quote from Ross
Ross: Face it, my father is not going to pay for the built-in barbecue. And believe me, you can kiss your gazebo goodbye. Now, I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Steven Waltham: Ah! Then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.
Ross: I go back there with lawn ornaments, he's going to laugh in my face.
Quote from Phoebe
Andrea Waltham: Hello, Waltham lnteriors.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with either one of the best men or Ross's sister, Monica.
Andrea Waltham: Who is this?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay, one of Ross's best friends.
Andrea Waltham: Well, if you're one of Ross' best friends, why aren't you here?
Phoebe: Yeah, because I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies.
Andrea Waltham: Oh. Am I on the radio?
Phoebe: No. Can I talk to one of them? It's really important.
Andrea Waltham: I'm getting bored of you now. I'm going to cut you off.