Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The One with Ross's Wedding (Part 2)’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Ross's Wedding (Part 2)

424. The One with Ross's Wedding (Part 2)

Aired May 7, 1998

When Rachel realizes she still has feelings for Ross, she decides to head to London and tell Ross how she feels about him. Stuck in New York, Phoebe does all she can to try stop Rachel ruining the wedding. Meanwhile, Monica is upset when a party guest thinks she's Ross's mother, and Ross tries to keep the peace between his and Emily's parents.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: No, no! I'll be nice, I swear. Could you just give me the number for where they are?
The Housekeeper: I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.
Phoebe: Okay, look. Somebody is on their way to ruin the wedding, and I have to warn somebody. All right. So if you don't give me that number, then I'm gonna come over there and I'm gonna kick your snooty ass all the way to New Gloucenshire! Hello? Hello? She knew I could kick her ass.

Rate

Quote from Phoebe

The Housekeeper: The Waltham residence.
Phoebe: Hi. Is this Emily's parents' house?
The Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And, by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses a person on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Phoebe: [in a British accent] This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if it's not too much trouble, please, might I speak with Miss Emily Waltham, please?
The Housekeeper: Miss Waltham is at the rehearsal dinner. And it is not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.

Quote from Jack Geller

Jack Geller: There's no way in hell I'm paying for it.
Ross: Look, we're down to just one point. Could we please maybe just settle it after the wedding?
Jack Geller: All right. Fine, but I just want to say I'm not paying for your wine cellar you thieving, would-be-speaking-German-if-it-weren't-for-us, cheap little man!

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: And so then I realized, all the stuff that I had been doing proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn't come to the wedding was all just a way-
Guy on the Plane: Oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm sorry, can I interrupt? I just want to say that you are a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: Pardon me?
Guy on the Plane: You say you love this man, and yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of his life. I'm afraid I have to agree with your friend "Pheebs". This is a terrible, terrible plan.
Rachel: But he has to know how I feel.
Guy on the Plane: But why? He loves this, this Emily person. No good can come of this.
Rachel: Well, I think you're wrong.
Guy on the Plane: Oh, no. [bites his fist] And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break.
[Rachel gasps]

Quote from Jack Geller

Judy Geller: There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar.
Steven Waltham: You have to meet me in the middle here.
Jack Geller: Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foot's gonna meet the middle of your ass.

Quote from Ross

The Registrar: Friends, family, we are gathered to celebrate the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness of today be with them always.
Now, Emily, repeat after me. l, Emily-
Emily: l, Emily-
The Registrar: take thee, Ross-
Emily: take thee, Ross-
The Registrar: as my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health till death parts us.
Emily: as my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health until death parts us.
The Registrar: Now, Ross. Repeat after me. I, Ross-
Ross: I, Ross-
The Registrar: take thee, Emily-
Ross: take thee, Rachel- Emily! Emily!
The Registrar: Shall I go on?

Quote from Judy Geller

Steven Waltham: Nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding.
Jack Geller: The hell with tradition. We're happy to do it.
Judy Geller: oh, we know how expensive weddings can be. Besides, this may be the only wedding we get to throw.
Monica: Ha, ha. A joke that's funny in all countries.

Quote from Joey

Waiter: Sir?
Joey: What's in it?
Waiter: Goat cheese, watercress and pancetta.
Joey: That's not food!

Quote from Judy Geller

Jack Geller: You tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Judy Geller: Ooh, Jack. Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. [Jack and Judy kiss]
Monica: And I'm gonna go get drunk.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: When is your next flight to London?
Ticket Agent: There's one leaving in 30 minutes.
Rachel: Oh, good.
Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.
Rachel: Oh. Thank you, thank you.
Ticket Agent: The last-minute fare on this ticket is $2700.
Rachel: Ugh. I don't think I have enough left on my credit card.
Ticket Agent: Well, you can split it with another credit card.
Rachel: Oh, okay. How about five? Thank you.
Ticket Agent: I'm just going to need to see your passport.
Rachel: Okay, you know what. I don't have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my nightstand. You know what? I have my driver's license. And I have a 20. [Rachel slides the $20 to the agent, who slides it ride back]

Quote from Ross

Ross: Face it, my father is not going to pay for the built-in barbecue. And believe me, you can kiss your gazebo goodbye. Now, I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Steven Waltham: Ah! Then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.
Ross: I go back there with lawn ornaments, he's going to laugh in my face.

Quote from Phoebe

Andrea Waltham: Hello, Waltham lnteriors.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with either one of the best men or Ross's sister, Monica.
Andrea Waltham: Who is this?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay, one of Ross's best friends.
Andrea Waltham: Well, if you're one of Ross' best friends, why aren't you here?
Phoebe: Yeah, because I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies.
Andrea Waltham: Oh. Am I on the radio?
Phoebe: No. Can I talk to one of them? It's really important.
Andrea Waltham: I'm getting bored of you now. I'm going to cut you off.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I'm sure we're all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean, to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. Oh, come on, Monty Hall. Let's Make a Deal. Come on, you people. All right, forget it. Congratulations, Ross and Emily.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now, I'm not good with the jokes like Chandler here. But I just want to say congratulations to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffeehouse back home. Home. New York City. Where everybody knows my name.
Anyway I love you guys. But not as much as I love America. Can we please go home now?
Felicity: Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.
Joey: I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: So how are you doing?
Monica: My mother's driving me crazy. But Ross is getting married, I'm happy. I'm not going to let anything spoil that.
Older Guest: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Monica: Thanks. We like him.
Older Guest: My God! You must have been a teenager when you had him.

Quote from Monica

Monica: My mother's right. I'm never going to get married.
Chandler: You know what, that is- Who wouldn't want you?
Monica: Please! I'm a single mom with a 30-year-old son.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Do you think he knew I was here?

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Rachel's coming to tell Ross she loves him.
Chandler: Oh, my God!
Joey: I know. That's why we've got to find Monica. Do you know where she is?
Chandler: No. Okay. What's with the third degree? Why don't you just shine a light in my eyes?

Quote from Jack Geller

Judy Geller: Hi, sweetheart.
Ross: Mom, Dad.
Judy Geller: Oh, sorry we're late. My fault. I insisted on riding the tube.
Jack Geller: Judy, the kids!
Judy Geller: Jack, that's what they call the subway.
Jack Geller: Oh, I thought-
Ross: Dad, we got it.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I'd like to make a toast to Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding. So this is kind of my little toast, or Melba toast, if you will. [silence] Okay.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I've known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. I thought things were really going to work out for him, until the day he over-inflated her. Mwah. [silence] Oh, dear God.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
Judy Geller: I just hope-
Monica: You can let some of them go by.

Quote from Rachel

Guy on the Plane: Excuse me.
Rachel: Yeah.
Guy on the Plane: If you're planning on doing that throughout the entire flight, please tell me now so that I can take a sedative. Or maybe slip you one.
Rachel: I'm sorry. It's just, I'm kind of excited. I'm going to London to tell this guy that I love him.
[Guy puts on headphones]

Quote from Joey

Phoebe: So, what's going on now?
Joey: I'm walking down the aisle. Still walking. I'm about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. Hey. I just told her "hey." I'm at the front with Ross. It's Phoebe. He looks pretty mad. I better go.
Phoebe: No, no. Wait. Please hold it up so I can listen.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Everything's different here. I want to go home. I miss my family. I miss the coffeehouse.
I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: Joey, it's been three days. Okay, you're just a little homesick. Would you just try to relax and just enjoy yourself?
Joey: You're different here too. You're mean in England.

Quote from Jack Geller

Jack Geller: What the hell?
Ross: What's up, Dad?
Jack Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. It's insane.
Judy Geller: How can it be so much? The reception's at their house.
Jack Geller: Flowers, liquor, re-carpet first floor, new guest bath, landscaping. I'm paying to remodel this guy's house! I'm gonna give that son of a bitch a piece of my mind.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Where are you going? What are you doing? No, wait. Why am I always pregnant when she does that?

Quote from Monica

Monica: I was laughing.
Chandler: Out loud?
Monica: Well, I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay. There's no way you look like Ross's mother.
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Chandler: Because he's crazy. He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Well, I've never done that with you before.
Monica: Nope.
Chandler: So how are you? You okay?
Monica: Yeah. Yeah. You?
Chandler: Oh, yes. Yes. Uh-huh. You? We did you.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Hey. Where the hell have you been?
Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so-
Phoebe: I don't want to hear about her.
Joey: Oh, Pheebs, you know you're still my number-one girl.
Phoebe: No. No. We have an emergency, okay. Rachel's coming to London.
Joey: Oh, great.
Phoebe: No, it's not great. She's coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Joey: But he loves Emily.
Phoebe: I know that! You have to stop her. She's going to ruin the wedding.
Joey: Okay.
Phoebe: So I've done my part, okay? It's your responsibility now. The burden is off me. Right?
Joey: Right.
Phoebe: So tell me about this girl.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Hey, have you seen Monica?
Chandler: [defensively] I've not seen Monica.
Joey: What?
Chandler: What?

Quote from Monica

Joey: Okay, we need to really start looking out for Rachel. I'll cover the front door. You watch that big hole. And I got Chandler covering Ross.
Monica: Why would I care where Chandler is? You know, sometimes I don't even like Chandler.
Joey: Okay.

Quote from Ross

Ross: This is our wedding day. From now on, everyone gets along. And if I hear one more word, no grandchildren! That's right.

Quote from Ross

Emily: You're not meant to see me before the wedding. It's bad luck.
Ross: You know, I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: What we did last night was-
Monica: Stupid.
Chandler: Totally crazy, stupid.
Monica: What were we thinking?
Chandler: I'm coming over tonight though, right?
Monica: Oh, yeah, definitely.


 Episode 423 Episode 501 
  Select another episode