‘The One with the Giant Poking Device’
Season 3, Episode 8 - Aired November 14, 1996
When Rachel takes care of Ben for an afternoon, Monica accidentally injures him. Meanwhile, Phoebe is worried that somebody will die if she goes to the dentist, and Joey must deliver bad news about Chandler's relationship with Janice.
Quote from Joey
Joey: I got a science question. If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, "homo" sapiens, is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, Homo sapiens are people.
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging.
Quote from Gunther
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. [Rachel kisses Ross] Can I get a napkin too?
Gunther: Oh, like you don't already have everything.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Is she going back to him?
Chandler: She doesn't know. Says she loves us both. You know, when I woke up this morning, I was in love. I was happy! It serves me right for buying that 12-pack of condoms. And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the receipt.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: Phoebe, what? What?
Phoebe: First it was my Aunt Mary. And then there was John, my mailman. And then my cowboy friend, Albino Bob.
Rachel: And all these people actually died?
Phoebe: Yes. While I was in the chair. That's why I take such good care of my teeth now. It's not about oral hygiene. I floss to save lives.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: Phoebe, you're in pain. Would you just go to the dentist? Just go.
Phoebe: Fine. But if you're my next victim, don't come back as a poltergeist who, like, sucks me into the TV set.
Rachel: I promise.
Phoebe: Although, don't feel like you can't visit.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: I'm going to the dentist. So listen, just be on the lookout for anything that you could fall into, or that can fall on you. Or ... all right, just look out.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: What about me?
Ross: You. You want to watch Ben? That would be great. I just asked Monica because I know how empty her life is.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Or we could put a hat on his head.
Monica: A hat. Yes, we need a hat. Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
Rachel: Oh, I'll get Rainy Day Bear.
Monica: Because he'll know what to do? Oh, my God. You're a genius.
Rachel: Oh, God, it's kind of sewn on.
Monica: Give it. Give it. [Monica decapitates the bear]
Rachel: Oh, God, it's just like a bloodbath in here today.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: I'd like to get her something serious.
Joey: Oh. You want something serious. You know what you should do? You should get her one of those ... barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
Chandler: Look, I'm gonna go in here. And you don't buy me anything, ever.