
‘The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 1)’
Season 7, Episode 23 - Aired May 17, 2001
As their families gather ahead of Chandler and Monica's wedding, the groom goes missing. Ross searches for Chandler while Phoebe and Rachel try to keep the news from Monica. Meanwhile, Joey lands a part in a prestigious film about World War 1.
Quote from Chandler
Charles: Hello, all.
Chandler: Hi Dad.
Monica: Hi, Mr. Bing.
Charles: Nora.
Nora: Charles.
Monica: It's so great to see you both here.
Charles: Yes. Although we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Chandler: Oh, my God.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Well, we gotta go.
Ross: Where are you guys going?
Monica: We gotta pick up the wedding dress and then we're going to have lunch with Mom.
Ross: Joey, you're having lunch with my Mom?
Joey: No, I just heard "lunch", but yeah, I can go.
Quote from Ross
Ross: No, it's not that. Now, what I'm going to say to you, I'm not saying as your friend. Okay, I'm saying it as Monica's older brother.
Chandler: But you're still my friend?
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Chandler: During this time, are you still my best man?
Ross: No.
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Okay. You guys are getting married tomorrow, and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you. But as Monica's older brother, I have to tell you this: If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.
[Chandler laughs]
Ross: What? I'm serious.
[Chandler laughs]
Ross: Hey, dude. Stop it. I'm not kidding here.
Chandler: Okay, I hear what you're saying and thanks for the warning.
Ross: No problem.
Chandler: So are we friends again?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Okay. You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me!
Quote from Ross
Ross: Wow, Monica. Just so you know, I had my older-brother talk with Chandler.
Monica: What is that?
Ross: Well, I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass.
[Monica, Phoebe and Rachel laugh]
Ross: What? What is the matter with everybody? I am serious. I would kick his ass!
Phoebe: [laughing] Ross, please, my makeup!
Quote from Judy Geller
Ross: Mom? Dad? What are you guys doing here?
Jack Geller: Well, you guys talk about this place so much. We thought we'd see what the fuss is all about.
Judy Geller: I certainly see why the girls like coming here.
Ross: Why?
Judy Geller: The sexy blond behind the counter.
Ross: Gunther?
Jack Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Ross: What? Your list?
Judy Geller: Yes, the list of people we're allowed to sleep-
Ross: No, no. I know what the list is.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time we'll be here in the coffeehouse as six single people?
Phoebe: Why? What's happening to the coffeehouse? Oh. Okay.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Yep. From now on, it's going to be the four of you guys and me and the missus. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Monica: Old?
Chandler: The young, hot ball and chain.
Monica: Much better.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Actually, I'm kind of glad they're leaving because I need to talk to you about something.
Chandler: What's up?
Ross: Well, this may be a little awkward.
Chandler: Listen, if you need to borrow money, it's kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: What are you doing, Mon?
Monica: I'm making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. That way I can be prepared.
Phoebe: What are they?
Monica: Well, so far I have: My bridesmaids' dresses won't get picked up, My veil gets lost, or I'm missing my something blue.
Rachel: Hey, those are all the things I'm responsible for.
Monica: I had to go with the odds, Rach.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Hey, you guys. Remember that audition I had a while ago and I didn't get the part?
Rachel: The commercial?
Joey: No.
Phoebe: That play?
Joey: No.
Monica: That other play?
Joey: No.
Phoebe: The movie?
Joey: Yes.
Rachel: The one about the pilot and his dog who flies planes?
Joey: No. But man, that one hurt.