Ross and Rachel Quotes Page 1 of 2
Quotes from Ross and Rachel's relationship.
Ross: Listen, do you think - and try not to let my vulnerability become any kind of a factor here - but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out sometime, maybe?
Rachel: Yeah. Maybe.
Ross: Okay. Okay, maybe I will.
Rachel: Hi. I'm sorry. I need to borrow your phone for just one minute.
Phone Guy: I'm talking.
Rachel: I can see that. Just one phone call, I'll be very quick. I'll even pay for it myself. Okay, you're being a little weird about your phone.
Phone Guy: All right. Fine. I'll call you back.
Rachel: Thank you. Machine. Just waiting for the beep.
Rachel: Ross! Hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that everything's fine. And I'm really happy for you and your cat. Who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. You see there, I'm thinking of names so obviously I am over you. I am over you. And that, my friend, is what they call "closure."
Rachel: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me?
Ross: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. Actually, I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you. Who's Michael?
Rachel: Oh, my God. Ross, no. Hang up the phone. Give me the phone! Give me the- [Rachel jumps on Ross's back and grabs the phone, throwing it in the sink]
Ross: You're over me?
Rachel: Oh, God.
Rachel: Oh, God.
Ross: You're over me?
Rachel: Oh, God.
Ross: When were you under me?
Phoebe: Oh, hang in there. It's gonna happen.
Ross: Now, how do you know that?
Phoebe: Because she's your lobster.
Chandler: Oh, she's going somewhere.
Phoebe: Come on, you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, holding claws, like...
Rachel: Okay, Ross, listen to me. I am not yours to save.
Ross: But you are.
Ross: Oh, well, you're my lobster.
Rachel: Okay. What, are you being, like, the blind-date guy again?
Ross: No, no. No, you're my lobster. See, lobsters. In the tank, when they're old they get with the- They walk around holding the claws. In the tank. You know, with with the holding and-Pheebs, you wanna help me with the whole lobster thing?
Phoebe: Do the claws again.
Ross: Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
Rachel: Oh, that's okay. You were worth the wait. And I don't just mean tonight.
Ross: Whoa. You're not laughing.
Rachel: This time it's not so funny.
Rachel: Okay, listen. What we have is amazing. But I do not want everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry. That was one of the reasons I left. I like not knowing right now. Sorry if that scares you, but if you wanna be with me, you're gonna have to deal with that.
Ross: Okay, fine.
Rachel: Thank you.
Ross: We're not done.
Rachel: I did not know that.
Ross: Okay, you're going to have to understand you're with a guy who's not going to stop planning his future with you because he knows we're gonna end up together. And if that scares you, tough! Because you're gonna have to deal with that.
Rachel: I will.
Ross: Good, because I love you.
Rachel: Oh, yeah? Well, I love you too.
Ross: Well, that's the first time we've said that.
Rachel: Yes, it is.
Ross: Well, I'm gonna kiss you.
Rachel: Well, you better.
Rachel: I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross. No, you're making this too hard.
Ross: I'm making this too hard? What do you want me to do?
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know. Look, ugh, maybe we should just take a break.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine. You're right. Let's, uh, let's take a break. Let's cool off, okay? Let's get some frozen yogurt or something.
Rachel: No. A break from us.
Rachel: And yet she was worth jeopardizing our relationship.
Ross: Look, I didn't think there was a relationship to jeopardize. I thought we had broken up.
Rachel: We were on a break.
Ross: That, for all I knew, could last forever. That to me is a breakup.
Rachel: You think you're gonna get out of this on a technicality?
Ross: I'm not trying to "get out" of anything. I thought our relationship was dead.
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake.
Rachel: Do you think it's easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: You're the one who ended it.
Rachel: Because I was mad at you. Not because I stopped loving you.
Ross: You still love me? You still love me.
Rachel: Yeah, so? You love me.
Rachel: My mom never thought this would work out. She said, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Oh, I just wish we hadn't lost those four months. But if time was what you needed to gain a little perspective.
Ross: We were on a break!
Rachel: Phoebe, I'm not going to Ross's wedding, because he's my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. It's not because I'm still in love with him. I mean, hey, I like Ross as much as the next guy. Clearly, I have feelings for him, but feelings don't mean love. I mean, do I still have loving feelings for Ross? Yeah. I have continuing feelings of love. But that doesn't mean I'm still in love with him. You know, I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him. [gasps] Oh, my God. Why didn't you tell me?
Phoebe: We thought you knew.
The Registrar: Friends, family, we are gathered to celebrate the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness of today be with them always.
Now, Emily, repeat after me. l, Emily-
Emily: l, Emily-
The Registrar: take thee, Ross-
Emily: take thee, Ross-
The Registrar: as my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health till death parts us.
Emily: as my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health until death parts us.
The Registrar: Now, Ross. Repeat after me. I, Ross-
Ross: I, Ross-
The Registrar: take thee, Emily-
Ross: take thee, Rachel- Emily! Emily!
The Registrar: Shall I go on?
Salesman: You two are really going to enjoy that couch.
Ross: Oh, yeah. We're, uh, not together.
Salesman: Oh, okay. Something didn't quite add up there.
Ross: What's that supposed to mean?
Salesman: Well, you. Her. I mean, she's very ... you know. And you're, like ... you know?
Ross: Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
Salesman: Really? You two?
Ross: Yeah, Rach?
Rachel: Come on, I really don't want to be doing this right now. I'm carrying a heavy couch.
Ross: Then tell him quickly.
Rachel: Fine. We went out.
Ross: Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times!
Rachel: Ross! Oh, my God. Uh, you kept count? You are such a loser!
Ross: A loser you did it with 298 times!
Rachel: But you know, I never had anything to worry about. Ross was never really good at the flirting thing.
Ross: What- What- What are you talking about? It worked with you.
Rachel: Oh. No, you're right. We met, you flirted and then bam! Nine years later, you had me.