Rachel: Hi, excuse me. I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Ross: And I'm Dr. Ross Geller.
Rachel: Ross, please. This is a hospital, okay? That actually means something here.

Phoebe: Alright, this seems pretty simple. Your first line is "My name is Claude." So, just repeat after me. Je m'appelle Claude.
Joey: "Je des coup plow".
Phoebe: Well, so let's try it again.
Joey: Okay.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
Joey: "Je des plie bleu".
Phoebe: Huh, it's not quite what I'm saying.
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Phoebe: It does? Really?
Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: Alright, let's just try it again. Really listen.
Joey: Got it.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
Joey: "Je des floop flee".
Phoebe: Oh, mon Dieu! [Oh, my God]
Joey: "Oh, des foof".

Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't wanna infect him.
Rachel: Ross, please, don't be so scared of him.
Ross: I am not scared of him, I'm really sick.
Nurse: He's still under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Ross: I'm feeling better.

Phoebe: [in a French accent] Uh, excuse me? Uh, I am Regine Phalange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of ... Estée Lauder.
Casting Director: You really think this man is speaking French?
Phoebe: Ecoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. Alors si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui. [Listen, I'm going to tell you the truth. This is my little brother. He is a little retarded. So, if you could, just play along with him.]

Casting Director: Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Joey: Oh, all right. But my French was good?
Casting Director: It was great.
Joey: Oh, ha, ha. See?
Phoebe: Merci, au revoir. [Thank you, good bye.]
Joey: Yeah. "Toot des le fruit".

Dr. Green: What are you doing here, Geller?
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second. So what's new?
Dr. Green: Oh, I had a little heart attack.
Ross: Right. Is it painful?
Dr. Green: What? The heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Ross: Let's see if we can get that Rachel back in here.
Dr. Green: So what's new with you, Geller? Knocked up any more of my daughters lately?
Ross: Nope. Just the one. Rach!

Ross: You had a rough day, huh?
Rachel: Yeah, it's just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean, he's a doctor, you don't expect doctors to get sick.
Ross: But we do.

Phoebe: Hey, Joey. Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday and I thought it about a lot- No, I was too inpatient. So let's try it again.
Joey: Oh no, that's okay. I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say I am pretty good.
Phoebe: Really? Can I hear some of it?
Joey: Sure, sure. Okay. "Bleh des la bleh, des bloo blah bleh".
Phoebe: See? Alright, you're not- You're not- You're- Again, you're not speaking French!

Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
Joey: "Je des core bleu".
Phoebe: No. Okay, maybe if we just break it down. Okay, let's just try it one syllable at a time. Okay, so repeat after me.
Phoebe: Je.
Joey: Je.
Phoebe: m'a.
Joey: m'a.
Phoebe: pelle.
Joey: pelle.
Phoebe: Great, okay, faster.
Phoebe: Je.
Joey: Je.
Phoebe: m'a.
Joey: m'a.
Phoebe: pelle.
Joey: pelle.
Phoebe: Je m'apelle.
Joey: "Mi poo poo."

Rachel: Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room.