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‘The One with the Candy Hearts’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Candy Hearts

114. The One with the Candy Hearts

Aired February 9, 1995

Ross struggles to move on from his failed marriage with Carol when he goes on his first date in nine years. Meanwhile, Chandler gets more than he bargained for when he's set up on a blind date by Joey, while the girls spend Valentine's day burning momentos from their past relationships.

Quote from Janice

Janice: Just us?
Chandler: Urgh, what a crappy night!
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom. [laughs]

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Quote from Janice

Janice: By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all of my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Chandler: That's okay.
Janice: Are you sure, really? Because, you know, you could make little puppets out of them and you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty!

Quote from Janice

Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well, well! Look what you brought! Very nice.
Chandler: And what did you bring? She's checking her coat. I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off of my hands. Would you get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice?
Chandler: Janice? Janice!?
Janice: Oh, my God!

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Just calm down.
Chandler: Calm down? You set me up with a woman I've dumped twice in the last five months!

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: How do we end up with these jerks? I mean, we're good people.
Monica: I don't know. Perhaps we're some kind of magnets.
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.

Quote from Janice

Monica: [on the phone] Ross, there's someone I want you to say hi to. [to Chandler] He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. That's right, it's me! How did you know? [laughs]

Quote from Carol

Carol: You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone. The right woman is waiting for you.
Ross: It's easy for you to say. You found one already.
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. Not her.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Okay, I'm making a break for it. I'm going out the window.

Quote from Janice

Chandler: Okay, Janice. Hey, Janice. There's no way to tell you this. At least, there's no new way. I just don't think things are gonna work out.
Janice: That's fine.
Chandler: It is?
Janice: Uh-huh. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Chandler: Oh, no. You see, actually, it is.
Janice: No, it isn't. Because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Oh, no, I don't.
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do we keep ending up together? New Year's, who invited who? Valentine's, who asked who into whose bed?
Chandler: I did, but-
Janice: You seek me out! Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! Janice! Janice! You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. [kisses Chandler] See?
Chandler: Call me!

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Come on, Ross, you need to get back in the game. The Rachel thing isn't happening, your ex-wife's a lesbian. I don't think we need a third.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Go with the egg, my friend.
Joey: Go, go, go! Think it'll work?
Chandler: No way. It's suicide. The man's got an egg.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Yeah, well, I'd take a little crying any day over Howard, the "I win" guy! "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two months. I didn't get to win once.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Ooh, you know my friend who shaves her head? She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle you can do a cleansing ritual.
Rachel: Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Phoebe: Yeah.

Quote from Joey

Joey: She says she wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is! But I definitely want to be a part of it.

Quote from Chandler

Janice: So do we have the best friends, or what?
Chandler: Joey's not a friend. He's a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big-screen TV?
Janice: I will go for that drink.
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! [a male waiter comes to the table] Can we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Janice: Each.
Chandler: That's right, each. Oh, and a rob roy. I've always wanted to know.

Quote from Janice

Janice: This is so much fun! This is like a reunion in the hall! [laughs]

Quote from Ross

Ross: I'm just saying, if dogs do experience jet lag because of the whole seven dog years to one human year thing, that when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.

Quote from Ross

Kristen: Who are they?
Ross: The blond is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her close, personal friend.
Kristen: You mean they're lovers?
Ross: lf you want to put a label on it.

Quote from Ross

Kristen: Anything else I should know?
Ross: Nope. Nope. That's it. Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Oh, look, I have a picture of Scotty Jared naked.
Rachel: Let me see. He's wearing a sweater.
Monica: No.

Quote from Chandler

Janice: Hello, funny valentine!
Chandler: Hi, just Janice.


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