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‘The One with the Ball’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Friends: The One with the Ball

521. The One with the Ball

Aired May 6, 1999

Phoebe freaks out when she learns that Gary is about to ask her to move in with him, so she dispatches commitment-phobic Chandler to try unsettle him. Meanwhile, Rachel buys an expensive cat that freaks everyone out, and Ross and Joey pass time by throwing a ball back and forth.

Quote from Gunther

Rachel: Oh, I sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Ross: Thank God.
Joey: Did you get your money back?
Rachel: Yeah, $1500.
Monica: Wow. You made a profit?
Gunther: I just came for the red velvet pillow.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. There you go.
Gunther: Thanks, Rachel. And don't forget, you can come visit her anytime you want.
Rachel: Oh, good. Great. I'll keep that in mind.
Gunther: [to Ross] Hey, so what is this, some kind of snake or something?

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Quote from Ross

Joey: What the hell is that?
Rachel: It's a cat.
Joey: That is not a cat.
Rachel: Yes, it is.
Ross: Why's it inside out?

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: I like him a lot, but I don't think I'm ready for this.
Chandler: So, what are you gonna do?
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle it. I'll ask you to talk to him.
Chandler: Me? Why me?
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment. You talk to him. Make him scared like you, make him a man.
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it'd do. Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Monica: That is so sweet.
Chandler: [to Phoebe] Still terrified. I'll take care of it. No problem.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, Ross, is Staten lsland really an island?
Ross: Uh-uh. That's why they call it Staten "lsland."
Joey: Oh, I thought it was like Long lsland.
Ross: Also an island.

Quote from Joey

Joey: You realize we've been throwing this ball without dropping it for, like, an hour.
Ross: Are you serious?
Joey: Yeah, I realized it a half-hour ago, but I didn't want to say anything because I didn't wanna jinx it.
Ross: Wow. We are pretty good at this.
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
Joey: I think that's the first time I've ever missed a meal. Yeah, I think my pants are a little loose.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: Hey, you guys. Is Monica here?
Joey: No.
Rachel: All right, listen. I just bought something. I'm not sure she's going to like it. And it's going to
seem a little crazy, but this is something I've wanted this since I was a little girl.
Ross: You bought Shaun Cassidy?
Rachel: No. I wish.

Quote from Joey

Ross: How much did you pay for that?
Rachel: Well, it was a little extravagant, but I got a pretty good deal.
Ross: Yeah, how much?
Rachel: A thousand bucks.
Ross: On a cat?
Joey: It's not a cat.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: All right. Listen, ball boys. My grandma had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing. I mean, it was so cute. It would sit in my lap and just purr all day long. And I would drag a shoe string on the ground and it would chase it.
Ross: Free cats do that too, you know.
Joey: It's not a cat.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I don't care what you think. I'm gonna go set up a litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?

Quote from Ross

Joey: Uh-oh.
Ross: What?
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom.
[cut to Ross throwing a ball to Joey in his bathroom]
Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it.
Ross: I know. Don't switch hands, okay.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Well, I heard you're thinking about moving in with Phoebe, and I thought we should talk. You know, man to ... well, me.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You know what, when you say it, it doesn't sound so scary.
Gary: You know what I'm talking about, right?
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do. You know what? You move in with her. You move in with her right now. Maybe I should move in with Monica.
Gary: No, it's too soon for you guys.
Chandler: [chuckling] You're right about that.

Quote from Joey

Ross: When they found the remains of the Mesozoic mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic amphibian in its jaws. How did it get there?
Joey: Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.

Quote from Ross

Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. It was right here. Where is it?
Joey: I don't know.
Monica: All right, well come on, I'm late for work.
Ross: How do you know? You don't have a watch.

Quote from Monica

Monica: What?
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball.
Joey: Yeah, we haven't dropped it in.
Ross: Two hours, 27 minutes.
Monica: Really?
[later:]
Monica: [on the phone, snuffly voice] I'm not going to be able to make it into work today. I don't feel very good. Yes! Wow, uh, for a second there, I thought I was feeling better, but I'm not.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Hey, Rach. Check it out. Almost three hours without dropping it.
Rachel: Wow. Congratulations. That's quite a waste of time.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Rachel, you have scratches all over you.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, it's my cat.
Monica: What?
Rachel: Oh, I got a cat.
Monica: But I don't want a cat.
Joey: Don't worry, it's not a cat.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Did you talk to Gary about moving in?
Chandler: Yes, and I think you should do it.
Phoebe: What?
Chandler: He's a great guy and he loves you a lot. You are a very lucky lady.
Phoebe: You are useless. Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do. The one thing and you can't even do that right!
Chandler: Sorry. If he asked me, I'd move in with him.
Phoebe: Oh! Get out of here, good-for-nothing.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours?
Joey: That's right, baby.
Chandler: All right, let me in.
Monica: No, no, no. Don't do it!
Chandler: What?
Monica: He's a dropper.
Joey: Oh, yeah. That's right.
Chandler: I'm not a dropper.
Ross: It's really a three-person game, you know?
Chandler: It's throwing and catching.
Ross: All right. [Ross throws Chandler the ball]
Chandler: Oh, oh, it's so hard. [Chandler almost drops the ball]

Quote from Rachel

Monica: Rach, why won't they take it?
Rachel: Well, they said they would, but they'd only give me store credit. What am I gonna do? Get 1000 regular cats?

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