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‘The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel’ Quotes

Friends: The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel

602. The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel

Aired September 30, 1999

Monica and Chandler break the news to Joey and Rachel that they are moving in together. Meanwhile, Phoebe is convinced that Ross is still in love with Rachel.

Quote from Ross

Russell: You got married again?
Ross: Yes.
Russell: So that's your second marriage in two years?
Ross: Yes. Second in two years. Third, overall.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never have I had so much business from one client.

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Quote from Monica

Monica: This isn't something that we just impulsively decided to do in Vegas. This is something that we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Rachel: It is? Really?
Monica: Yeah, sweetie.
Rachel: You mean, we're not gonna live together anymore?
Monica: No.
Rachel: Oh, my God. I'm gonna miss you so much.
Monica: I'm gonna miss you.
Rachel: I mean, it's the end of an era!
Monica: I know!

Quote from Ross

Russell: Why don't you tell me what happened?
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas, and we got drunk.
Russell: I'm sorry, is this the same Rachel whose name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Ross: Yes, yes, yes. But I do not love her.
Russell: Oh. That's better then.
Ross: This was just a drunken mistake, and I need to get it annulled.
Russell: I see. Have you considered therapy?
Ross: I think just the annulment for today.
Russell: There are a couple of forms to fill out.
Ross: Easy.
Russell: And we will need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of sound mind.
Ross: No problem.
Russell: And we'll need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Ross: Ooh. There's no way to do this without her? Because I kind of already told her it was taken care of.
Russell: Of course you did. Look, Ross, you can't get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
Ross: Uh-huh. What about someone who looks like Rachel? I will think about the therapy.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: Ross, it's not that big a deal. So you'll have been divorced three times. You'll still have a life, you'll go on dates.
Ross: No, I won't. I'll be at the bottom of the dating barrel now. The only guys below me will be Four-Divorce Guy, Murderer Guy, and geologists.

Quote from Ross

Ross: This is crazy. I mean, yes, Rachel is my good friend. And I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: You didn't get the annulment?!
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: Ross.
Ross: Well, I tried, but when I got to my lawyer's office, all I could hear was: "Three divorces! Three divorces! " I just don't want my tombstone to read "Ross Geller: Three Divorces."

Quote from Ross

Ross: Can you just lay off, please? All right, my life is an embarrassment. I should just go live under somebody's stairs.

Quote from Ross

Ross: See? Once you know the stories, it's not that bad. First marriage: Wife's hidden sexuality.
Not my fault. Second marriage: Said the wrong name at the altar. A little my fault. Third marriage: Well, they really shouldn't allow you to get married when you're that drunk and have writing all over your face. Nevada's fault.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: Phoebe, will you help me out here?
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you married her.
Ross: We were drunk. I would've married Joey with that amount of alcohol.
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!

Quote from Joey

Monica: When we told Joey, he cried his eyes out.
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out! Come on, it's like the end of an era. No more J-Man and Channy's.
Chandler: Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: So Ross and Rachel got married. Monica and Chandler almost got married. You think we should hook up?
Phoebe: Oh, we do. But not just yet.
Joey: Really? Well, when?
Phoebe: Well, first Chandler and Monica will get married, and be filthy rich, by the way. But it won't work out.
Joey: Wow.
Phoebe: I know. Then I'm going to marry Chandler for the money. And you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Joey: Great.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and that's when we get married. We'll have Chandler's money and Rachel's kids. And getting custody will be easy because of Rachel's drinking problem.
Joey: Ooh, ooh, what about Ross?
Phoebe: I don't want to go into the whole thing. But we have words and I kill him.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Don't be worried about that. Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say. It can say, "Ross Geller: Good at Marriage." You know what? Mine's gonna say, "Phoebe Buffay: Buried Alive."

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: Okay, so I don't have it all worked out quite yet. Just don't say anything to Rachel. Please.
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. Although being the only one that knows about this does make me feel special. Okay.
Rachel: Okay, stop, stop! Phoebe?
Phoebe: Hey, Rach.
Rachel: What was that?
Phoebe: Sorry. Mix-up. Hey, how was the movie?
Rachel: I haven't seen it yet.
Phoebe: Well you better hurry. The Angelika! Go! Go!
Rachel: No!

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: When we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Monica: Of course. Joey wouldn't let you have one?
Chandler: No, when it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Oh, I had the worst day. You think you're finally making progress at work, then your boss calls you Raquel.
Chandler: Hey, listen, for the first four years of my work, everybody called me [babbling] Seriously.
Rachel: I believe you. It was right in the middle of a meeting, so of course no one wants to correct her. So everyone else is calling me Raquel. By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Ross, can I just talk to you for just a second?
Rachel: Oh, but Phoebe, we're going to be late for the movie.
Phoebe: Oh, there's a cab. Taxi! That's great. What timing. My God, huh? There you go.
Rachel: We're actually just going to walk because it's right up there at the Angelika.
Phoebe: The Angelika! Go! Go! [The taxi pulls away with Rachel]

Quote from Chandler

Monica: Did you tell him you're moving out?
Chandler: No, I keep trying. And I can get out "Joey, I have to-" But then I lose my nerve and I finish with "-go to the bathroom." He may think I'm sick.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Okay. If you're gonna be moving in with him, I feel it is my responsibility to tell you the truth about him. Okay, he's a terrible roommate. Terrible. He forgets to... He always, he always... Oh, who am I kidding? He's the best roommate ever.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: I have some pretty exciting news.
Phoebe: You're pregnant.
Monica: No. Chandler and I are moving in together.
Phoebe: Oh, that's good. Wow. But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint, Phoebe.

Quote from Ross

Ross: What's up?
Monica: Chandler and I are moving in together.
Ross: Oh, my God. Oh, my little sister and my best friend ... shacking up.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: I gotta go find Rachel. If you guys see her, could you give her some really bad news, so mine doesn't seem so bad. Thank you.
Ross: Okay, bye.
Phoebe: Mmm. Something bad to tell Rachel. Bad news for Rachel. What could that be?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Ross, you're being ridiculous. You are cute and smart and sweet. And that is much more important than three stupid divorces.
Ross: Oh, yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who's been divorced three times?
Phoebe: Well, that's not really fair. You know, most guys who have been divorced three times are, like, 60.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: Hi. Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time. But wouldn't you date him?
Ross: And if you wait right here, I'll go get Ross.

Quote from Rachel

Monica: Listen, Chandler and l are going to live together. Here.
Rachel: Oh, my God. That's so great. I'm so happy for you guys.
Monica: Really?
Rachel: Oh, and that was so sweet of you to ask. Oh, my God. The three of us are gonna have such a good time living together.
Monica: Yes, we are.
Rachel: Chandler, you'll have to watch those long showers you take because you know Raquel can't be late.
Chandler: Rach-
Monica: He's going to work on that.
Rachel: Oh, this is so exciting. Oh, wow. [singing] Come and knock on our door-
Monica: [singing] We'll be waiting for you.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: So what do you think, ladies? Who wouldn't want to date him?
Karin: Well, the divorces don't bother me. I'd date him. But not while he's still married.
Phoebe: Okay. And what about you, wouldn't you want to date?
Stephanie: Actually, I'm not dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were, you know, bad for me. So I decided that until I could work that out-
Phoebe: Good. Good. Whatever. What about you, Meg?
Meg: Well, I don't care about the divorces, either. But I wouldn't date him. It's just that he's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
Ross: What?
Phoebe: She said, "He's obviously still in love with this Rachel girl."

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: I'm sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just don't want to be divorced three times.
Phoebe: Yes, and now he's using this three-divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, well done. Bravo, Meg.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Okay, fine. Fine. If this is what you think, forget about the whole three-divorce thing. Okay.
I'll go to my lawyer's office right now and get this marriage annulled. Okay. She means nothing to me. Nothing! Nothing!
Meg: Okay, now I wouldn't date you because you seem a little creepy.
Stephanie: I am so attracted to him right now.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: When are we going to tell Rachel what actually is going to happen?
Monica: Soon. I just couldn't before. I mean, you saw how upset Joey got. I couldn't do that to her. She's my best friend.
Chandler: Well, Joey's my best friend.
Monica: I'm not your best friend?
Chandler: You just said--! Of course, you're my best friend.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Rach, there's something important I have to tell you.
Rachel: Are you pregnant?
Monica: No, but I'm throwing this shirt away.

Quote from Joey

Joey: It's gonna be weird, like, when I come home and you're not here. No more Joey and Chan's. No more J and C's. Want to go over to Joey and Chandler's? Can't. It's not there.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: I'll just be across the hall. We can still do all the same stuff.
Joey: We won't be able to, like, get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Chandler: Not once did we do that.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I told Rachel that it's just gonna be the two of us.
Chandler: Oh, yeah? Well, how'd she take it?
Monica: Really well. Surprisingly well. She didn't cry. She wasn't angry or sad.
Chandler: And you're upset because you didn't make your best friend cry?
Monica: I mean, all I'm asking for is a little emotion. Is that too much to ask after six years? I mean, what, are Rachel and I not as close as you guys? I mean, did we not have as much fun? Don't I deserve a few tears?

Quote from Monica

Monica: Hey, Rachel, how about the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, thanks. I love this plate.
Monica: Something to remember me by.
Rachel: Mon, honey, you're not dying. I'm just moving out.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: So did you get the annulment?
Ross: I couldn't.
Phoebe: I knew it. Because you love Rachel.
Ross: It's not that. Okay, annulments are more complicated than I-
Phoebe: Yeah, complicated because of the love. I do not love Rachel. I'm going to tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay. Would I do that if I loved her?
Phoebe: I've never been more convinced of your love for her.
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel, okay?

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: Hey, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Hey. Oh, look, here's an article about people who marry people and don't tell them.
Ross: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm reading Ross Geller Magazine.


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