Monica: She's over a week late. She's got to have it today, right?
Phoebe: I don't know. I think it's still gonna be a while.
Monica: Care to make it interesting? I bet you that she'll have it by this time tomorrow.
Phoebe: You're on.
Monica: Okay, how much?
Phoebe: One hundred thousand dollars.
Monica: How about 50 bucks?
Phoebe: Fine. I'll call Zurich and move some money around.

Dr. Long: You're about 80% effaced, so you're on your way. But it still could last a while. If you're anxious, there are ways to help things along.
Ross: Do them.
Dr. Long: Actually, they're things that you can do. Just some home remedies. But in my experience, I've found that some are very effective.
Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything.
Dr. Long: Okay. There's an herbal tea you can drink. You can take some castor oil. There's eating spicy foods.
Rachel: Great. We will do all of those.
Dr. Long: Taking a long walk.
Rachel: Good. Done.
Dr. Long: And there's the one that's proved most effective: Sex.
Ross: You've got to be kidding me!

Joey: All right, what else?
Chandler: Well, there's acting classes, stage-combat classes, tap classes-
Joey: Which we're still keeping under our hats.
Chandler: Then there was that dialect coach who helped you with a play where you needed a Southern accent. Which, after 20 hours of lessons, still came out Jamaican.
Joey: What the hell are you talking about? [in a Jamaican accent] The South will rise again, man.
Chandler: Yes, money well-spent.

Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did you like that part?
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Joey: You fell asleep! There was no kangaroo. They didn't take any of my suggestions.

Ross: I cannot wait to see this.
Joey: Yeah, it's already generating Oscar buzz.
Phoebe: I started that.
Joey: I thought I did.

Rachel: That's right. Still no baby. Come on, people, make some room.
Ross: Sweetie, maybe you'd be more comfortable here.
Rachel: You. Like you haven't done enough.
Ross: I know how miserable you are. I wish there was something I could do. I wish I were a sea horse. Because with sea horses, it's the male. They carry the babies. And then also, I'd be far away in the sea.

Chandler: Hey, did you have the baby yet?
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Because I'll do it.

Monica: What are you doing home so early?
Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were all, "Start your maternity leave now. Just rest. Get ready for the baby." Well, you know what? Screw them. If they don't want me there, I'll just hang out with you guys.
Phoebe: Or you could do volunteer work.

Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey, it's Estelle. Great news. I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I could have six tickets.
Estelle: Well, I sold four or them on eBay. You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Joey: Oh, my God. So that's it? I only get to bring one guest?
Estelle: Yeah. What time do you want to pick me up? Hello?

Monica: Well, you know Ross didn't care enough to be here, so I think he's out. You snooze, you lose.
Chandler: He's not snoozing. He's teaching a class.
Monica: Well, then somebody's snoozing.