‘The One with Rachel's Crush’
Season 4, Episode 13 - Aired January 29, 1998
Rachel is attracted to a new customer at work and struggles to ask him out on a date. Meanwhile, Chandler becomes concerned that Kathy is cheating on him, and Monica works hard to make their new apartment a better place for the group to hang out.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Why'd you make a big thing out of everyone hanging out in the big apartment?
Monica: 'Cause they took our apartment. I wanted to punish them. I'm done now. They've suffered enough.
Phoebe: If you wanted to punish them, you should have just made them hang out here.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: I don't even know how I would go about it.
Joey: Well, what I do is, I look a woman up and down, and I say "Hey. How you doin'?"
Phoebe: Oh, please.
Joey: Hey. How you doin'?
[Phoebe giggles]
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault. Just because you guys had a fight does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Ross: Well, if she thought they were on a break...
Quote from Monica
Rachel: Honey, what is the big deal?
Monica: I'm the hostess. Not those guys. I'm always the hostess. I mean, even when I was little, the girls brought their dollies to my tea party. I served the best air.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play, and she is my girlfriend. I get to have sex with the star of the play.
Ross: People can hear you.
Chandler: I know!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your old blouses and dresses from high school?
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Phoebe: Well, it's just maternity clothes are so expensive.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: Bloomingdale's eliminated my department.
Monica: Oh, my God. Are you out of a job?
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in Personal Shopping, which is a huge step down.
Phoebe: Personal Shopping, what is that? Where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: That sounds great.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Excuse me. We switched apartments. You can't eat our food. That gravy train has ended.
Joey: There's gravy?
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: How was Kathy's play?
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good-looking guy.
Chandler: It was like somebody literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it.
Phoebe: That's a good idea for a business.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: I am so totally screwed. They're gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, then they'll go to their cast parties, and he's gonna try to undermine me. He'll be like, "So, where's your boyfriend? What's his name? Chester?" And she'll go, "No, no, no. It's Chandler." And he'll go, "Ha, ha, ha. Whatever!"
Joey: That is a good trick.