Rachel: I don't even know how I would go about it.
Joey: Well, what I do is, I look a woman up and down, and I say "Hey. How you doin'?"
Phoebe: Oh, please.
Joey: Hey. How you doin'?
[Phoebe giggles]

Phoebe: Why'd you make a big thing out of everyone hanging out in the big apartment?
Monica: 'Cause they took our apartment. I wanted to punish them. I'm done now. They've suffered enough.
Phoebe: If you wanted to punish them, you should have just made them hang out here.

Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault. Just because you guys had a fight does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Ross: Well, if she thought they were on a break...

Rachel: Honey, what is the big deal?
Monica: I'm the hostess. Not those guys. I'm always the hostess. I mean, even when I was little, the girls brought their dollies to my tea party. I served the best air.

Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play, and she is my girlfriend. I get to have sex with the star of the play.
Ross: People can hear you.
Chandler: I know!

Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your old blouses and dresses from high school?
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Phoebe: Well, it's just maternity clothes are so expensive.

Monica: Excuse me. We switched apartments. You can't eat our food. That gravy train has ended.
Joey: There's gravy?

Phoebe: How was Kathy's play?
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good-looking guy.
Chandler: It was like somebody literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it.
Phoebe: That's a good idea for a business.

Chandler: I am so totally screwed. They're gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, then they'll go to their cast parties, and he's gonna try to undermine me. He'll be like, "So, where's your boyfriend? What's his name? Chester?" And she'll go, "No, no, no. It's Chandler." And he'll go, "Ha, ha, ha. Whatever!"
Joey: That is a good trick.

Joey: Chandler, look. They're actors. They're there to do a job. Just because they work together doesn't mean they're gonna get together. I mean, just because it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins doesn't mean it's gonna happen with them.
Ross: Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
Joey: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
Phoebe: Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood.
Ross: They're not a couple.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. I get the game now.