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‘The One with Joey's Interview’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Joey's Interview

819. The One with Joey's Interview

Aired April 4, 2002

When Joey decides to give an interview to Soap Opera Digest, he looks back on his career and life. [CLIP SHOW]

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Um, I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
Interviewer: Oh. I like that. What's your name?
Phoebe: Phoebe Buffay.
Interviewer: How do you spell that, so we can get it right?
Phoebe: Okay. It's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie. O as in Obie. E as in Ebie. B as in Beebee. And E as in, "'ello there, mate!"

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Quote from Joey

Joey: In my spare time, I read to the blind. And I'm also a mento for kids.
Interviewer: A mento?
Joey: You know, a mento. A role model.
Interviewer: A mento?
Joey: Right.
Interviewer: Like the candy?
Joey: As a matter of fact, I do.

Quote from Joey

Interviewer: So now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
Joey: Really? Me? Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Hi. So I'm doing the "Soap Opera Digest" crossword puzzle and guess who is the clue for three down?
Joey: Three down. "Days of Our Lives" star, blank Tribbiani." That's me. I'm blank.

Quote from Joey

Interviewer: I think it's great that you wanted to meet here. You know, when people hear the magazine's paying for it, they want to go to a big, fancy restaurant.
Joey: Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying. Wouldn't have mattered. I'm doing this for the fans, not the free food.
Gunther: Can I get you anything?
Interviewer: I'll have a cup of coffee.
Joey: And I'll have all the muffins.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Joey, you're doing great.
Ross: Yeah. So far, nothing stupid.
Chandler: Mento?
Joey: No, thanks.

Quote from Monica

Monica: How cool is this. We know three down. I'm touching three down.
Joey: Yeah, you are, baby.
Monica: Three down knows I'm married. What's three down doing?

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your name's going to be in this?
Joey: No. They really like me over there, though. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Ross: Why'd you say no?
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. Who knows what I might say this time?
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Oh, come on, Joey, you'll totally keep it in check this time. Plus, the publicity would be really good for your career. You deserve that. And if you do the interview, you could mention, I don't know, "gal pal Rachel Green."
Chandler: Is that "gal pal" spelled L-O-S-E-R?
Rachel: Okay, don't listen to him. Please?
Joey: Fine, all right, I'll do it. But hey, you guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I start to say something stupid.
Ross: Just then, or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?
Rachel: Well, we will be there for you the whole time. Just remember: Gal pal, Rachel Green.
I'm gonna be in "Soap Opera Digest"! And not just in the dumb crossword. Seriously, proud of you.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: You think we're being obvious?
Chandler: No. We're just four people with neck problems, who talk like this.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I'm going to get some coffee. Anyone want anything?
Rachel: Yeah. I'd love a blueberry muffin and chamomile tea.
Ross: Double latte, extra foam.
Chandler: A bagel with only-
Phoebe: I was just being polite.

Quote from Joey

Joey: I don't believe in these crazy diets. Just everything in moderation.
Gunther: Your muffins.
Joey: I'll take those to go. [to the interviewer] For the kids.

Quote from Joey

Interviewer: Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
Joey: It's so stupid. I said some stuff in an interview that I really shouldn't have said. But believe me, that is not gonna happen today.
Interviewer: Understood. So, what'd you say back then?
Joey: I said that l-
Group: Hey, Joey!

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green. If you want the dirt, I'm the one you come to. This might be Joey's baby, who knows? I'm just kidding. Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.
Ross: Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Well, l I'd just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Me? Gay? No. No. No. But I have a number of close friends who are.

Quote from Joey

Interviewer: Oh, wait, I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this: Other than "Days of Our Lives", what's your favorite soap opera?
Joey: Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me? I have a life, you know?
Interviewer: Thank you. The readers at "Soap Opera Digest" will be happy to learn that.
Joey: Oh. Good enough. ... So close.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Wow. I can't believe they didn't put in the part where you said you don't watch soap operas.
Joey: Yeah. I called the lady about that and told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about it.
Monica: You slept with her, didn't you?
Joey: A little bit. Yep.

Quote from Joey

Ross: Wow. This picture of you sure is steamy.
Joey: Oh, yeah. That's just a little something for my huge gay fan base.
Ross: Did you just wink at me?
Joey: Hey, you're the one who loves the picture.


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