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‘The One with Rachel's Sister’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Rachel's Sister

613. The One with Rachel's Sister

Aired February 3, 2000

When Rachel's spoiled sister is cut off financially by her dad, Rachel tries to help Jill adjust to her new lifestyle. Meanwhile, Joey gets in trouble for handing out free muffins at Central Perk, and Monica refuses to accept she is sick.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I cannot believe that. I mean, I don't really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister? Isn't that like incest or something? Oh, my God, and they're gonna have sex. Oh, no. And what if he marries her too? This is just terrible. This is just terrible. And I can't stop it. I don't own Ross, you know. And Jill should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do. Oh, my God, I can't believe Ross is marrying my little sister.

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Quote from Ross

Rachel: So what'd you get?
Phoebe: Oh, well, all right. I got this, you know, "I want a job" sweater. And then I got these- These are apartment pants.
Rachel: Apartment pants?
Phoebe: Yeah, you've never heard of them?
Rachel: Of course, I've heard of them. Ross, what'd you get?
Ross: I got this... This.
Rachel: A Pashmina?
Ross: Yeah. I love these babies.
Rachel: Really? Ross, what's a Pashmina?
Ross: It's a rug.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Come on. Don't take this personally. I just can't have sex with a sick person.
Monica: I'm with you, Chandler. I mean, I can't have sex with a sick person either. It's disgusting. But I'm not sick. Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the prime of life.
Chandler: See, that's the thing, I would like to stay in the [in congested voice] "prime of life."

Quote from Monica

Monica: I have not been sick in over three years. [sneezes]
Chandler: I'm going to grab you some tissues.
Monica: I don't need a tissue. I'm fine-d.
Ross: When you put a "D" at the end of fine, you're not fine.
Monica: I'm fine-d. I'm fine-d. You know, it's a really hard word to say.

Quote from Jill

Jill: Were you this cute in high school?
Ross: Oh, stop.
Jill: No, you stop.
Ross: No, you stop.
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Why don't I sit here and then you'll both stop it.

Quote from Jill

Jill: I mean, he's nice. He's the kind you're friends with, but not the kind you date. I mean, he's the kind you date, because you did. But me? Not so much.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Okay, Rach, that's muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1 .25. All together that's $12.75.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldn't split our $80 phone bill in half.

Quote from Joey

Ross: Hey, Joey, how come our stuff isn't free?
Joey: It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt.

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: This is great. I'm getting more dates than ever.
Rachel: Wait a minute, Joey. You're only giving away free stuff to the pretty girls?
Phoebe: Joey, that is so gross.
Joey: How about a scone on the house, baby?
Phoebe: [giggles] I'm pretty.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or the one that bit her?
Jill: Daddy cut me off.
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: Honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off?
Jill: Okay, I bought a boat.
Monica: You bought a boat?
Jill: Yeah, but it wasn't for me, it was for a friend.
Chandler: Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister.

Quote from Phoebe

Jill: Okay, I'm really gonna do this. I don't know how to thank you.
Phoebe: Oh, I like cars.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Okay, I'll rest. But if I'm going to bed, then you're coming with me.
Chandler: See, that would be impossible to resist if you weren't all ... drippy here.
Monica: Are you saying that you don't want to get with this?
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think you should say that even when you're healthy.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday, dear Annie-
Amy: Amy.
Joey: - Amy, Happy birthday to you.
Guy: That's so weird, today's my birthday too.
Joey: Not in here it isn't.

Quote from Jill

Jill: I don't know. You know, he's just a little bookish.
Rachel: Are you saying he's a geek?
Jill: You think so too?
Rachel: No. Ross is not a geek.
Jill: Then let's just say he's not my type.
Rachel: Handsome is not your type? Smart, kind, good kisser. What, those things aren't on your list? Ross is a great guy. You'd be lucky to be with him.
Jill: Well, okay. If it means that much to you, then I'll just ask him out

Quote from Joey

Gunther: You're paying for that.
Joey: No, it's her birthday.
Gunther: You've sung "Happy Birthday" to 20 different women today.
Joey: But it really is-
Gunther: You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins.
Joey: Damn it.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: Chandler, I think I'm sick.
Chandler: Really? Struck down in [congested voice] "the prime of life."

Quote from Jill

Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think?
Rachel: I don't like it.
Jill: Really?
Rachel: It's kind of slutty.
Jill: It's yours.
Rachel: Yeah, well, I'm a slut.
Jill: Me too.

Quote from Jill

Ross: I don't think charging new clothes to your dad qualifies as making it on your own.
Jill: Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical.


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