Previous Episode Next Episode 
The One with Russ

‘The One with Russ’

Season 2, Episode 10 -  Aired January 4, 1996

The guys are freaked out when Rachel starts dating Russ, a man with a striking resemblance to Ross. When Monica gets back together with Fun Bobby, she is alarmed that all his joviality seems to come from a bottle. Meanwhile, Joey gets an audition for Days of Our Lives.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.


Quote from Ross

Ross: She's dating? She's dating.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, but did you see who she was dating?
Ross: What do you mean?
Monica: Do you not see it?
Ross: See what? I don't know what she sees in, in that goober. And it- And it takes him, what? Like, like, I don't know, uh, uh, hello, a week, to get out a sentence?
Chandler: Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
Ross: [stammering] Yeah.

Quote from Estelle

Estelle: Well, there's my favorite client. So, tell me, darling, how was the audition?
Joey: Well, I think it went pretty well. I got a callback for Thursday.
Estelle: Joey. Have you ever seen me ecstatic?
Joey: No.
Estelle: Well, here it is.

Quote from Joey

Joey: When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Want to do another one? Huh, Russ? Okay, eleven letters. "Atomic element number 101," ends in "ium."
Russ: Dysprosium.
Ross: Ha, ha. Dysprosium? Try mendelevium.
Chandler: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, "Knights in White Satin" was sung by the Doody Blues.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Joey, would you slow down? They're not going to be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: I'm excited. I've never gotten reviewed before.
Monica: You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.
Phoebe: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time.
Yeah, 'cause when you sat down on your throne, you could kind of see your royal subjects.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Here it is, here it is! "The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king."
Chandler: Okay, look, that is one guy's opinion. All right? Pheebs, read yours.
Phoebe: Okay. "The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction"-
Chandler: Does anybody have one from a different paper?

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Ross, read yours. I don't want to.
Rachel: Oh! Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this for ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's got to be a reason.
Ross: Oh, come on, man, you're just, uh, paying your dues. No, no, no. It's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit.
Ross: What? That's crazy.
Monica: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. "In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve brilliant new levels of"- Continued on page 153 - "Sucking."

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys.
Monica: Really? I only had two glasses.
Joey: I just had a glass.
Phoebe: Two.
Rachel: I had one glass.
Chandler: I had about a mugful in this lovely "I got boned at the Museum of Natural History" mug.

Quote from Monica

Joey: Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
Monica: Well, we just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink. I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or to a club, or to the ... zoo?

Page 2