‘The One with Russ’
Season 2, Episode 10 - Aired January 4, 1996
The guys are freaked out when Rachel starts dating Russ, a man with a striking resemblance to Ross. When Monica gets back together with Fun Bobby, she is alarmed that all his joviality seems to come from a bottle. Meanwhile, Joey gets an audition for Days of Our Lives.
Quote from Estelle
Estelle: Well, there's my favorite client. So, tell me, darling, how was the audition?
Joey: Well, I think it went pretty well. I got a callback for Thursday.
Estelle: Joey. Have you ever seen me ecstatic?
Joey: No.
Estelle: Well, here it is.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
Quote from Ross
Ross: She's dating? She's dating.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, but did you see who she was dating?
Ross: What do you mean?
Monica: Do you not see it?
Ross: See what? I don't know what she sees in, in that goober. And it- And it takes him, what? Like, like, I don't know, uh, uh, hello, a week, to get out a sentence?
Chandler: Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
Ross: [stammering] Yeah.
Quote from Joey
Joey: When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Want to do another one? Huh, Russ? Okay, eleven letters. "Atomic element number 101," ends in "ium."
Russ: Dysprosium.
Ross: Ha, ha. Dysprosium? Try mendelevium.
Chandler: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, "Knights in White Satin" was sung by the Doody Blues.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Here it is, here it is! "The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king."
Chandler: Okay, look, that is one guy's opinion. All right? Pheebs, read yours.
Phoebe: Okay. "The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction"-
Chandler: Does anybody have one from a different paper?
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys.
Monica: Really? I only had two glasses.
Joey: I just had a glass.
Phoebe: Two.
Rachel: I had one glass.
Chandler: I had about a mugful in this lovely "I got boned at the Museum of Natural History" mug.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Rach, does this have non-fat milk?
Rachel: Umm, I don't know. Why don't you taste it?
Monica: Mmm, no.
Rachel: Oh, well, too late, sorry. You already had some.
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: Guess who's back in show business.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Lorne Greene?
Chandler: No, no, Pheebs. You know why? 'Cause he's dead.
Phoebe: Oh, no.
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
Chandler: Hey, yeah, we could all sleep together, and then one of us could get amnesia.