TV Quotes

Monica: Come on, no peeking.
Chandler: Our eyes are closed, and we're about to cross the street. Very good.

Monica: Remember that guy from cooking school that put cilantro in everything?
Phoebe: Oh, sure, Cilantro Larry.
Monica: Well, I'm going to fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
Ross: Wow, Monica. What an amazing opportunity to influence ... dozens of people.

Chandler: Hey, Ross. Quick question for you. Are you ready to party?
Ross: I don't know. I could maybe go out for a couple of beers. But there's this thing about bumble bees on the Discovery Channel.

Chandler: This will be so cool. We never party anymore.
[Ross and Chandler cheer]
Monica: All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van?

Joey: What do you mean, "we never have fun anymore"? You have fun with me. Remember the time we saw those strippers and then you paid me $50 to eat that book?

Chandler: You don't understand. Gandalf is amazing. You never know what's going to end up happening. You go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia.
Joey: Really?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. It's a beautiful country up there.

Ross: Hey. Okay. I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snakebite kit.
Chandler: It's not going to be exactly like last time.

Monica: My first review is out.
Phoebe: Oh, The Chelsea Reporter. These used to keep me so warm.

Phoebe: I found a guy who'd fix up the van for catering.
Monica: You want me to go with you?
Phoebe: No, it's okay. But are we sure we don't want the waterbed?

Monica: Who is it?
Allesandro: It's Allesandro, from Allesandro's.
Monica: Oh, my God.
Allesandro: I want to talk to you about your review.
Monica: Call me on the phone.
Allesandro: What? So you can hang up on me?
Monica: I'll never going to let you up, so just go away.
Allesandro: Just give me a chance to-
Phoebe: Do you need to get in? Here you go.
Monica: No, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey, Monica.

Allesandro: Our service isn't "grossly incompetent."
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants.
Allesandro: Well, you said that we accept the Discover Card which we do not.
Monica: All right, that I'll retract. But I stand by my review. I know food, and that wasn't it.

Rachel: [sobbing] Now just to brief you I may cry. But they are not tears of sadness or of anger but just of us having this discussion.

Ross: It's Gandalf, and he's not coming.
Joey: So you've just been sitting around here all morning?
Ross: No. I balanced my checkbook.
Chandler: And I gave first names to all the foosball players.

Rachel: Hey, Monica, how do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer-
Monica: The owner of Allesandro's came over to yell at me. But instead I made him sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef.
Rachel: Oh, my God. You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way home, but I'm so happy.

Rachel: Hey, Pheebs. Quick question for you. How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdale's?
Phoebe: I don't know. It would totally depend on her coloring and- You got the job.
Monica: You got the job? Why didn't you tell me?

Monica: Oh, Pheebs, I kind of need to talk to you about that. Well, I think it might be time for me to take a step back from the catering.
Phoebe: But we've only had one job.
Monica: I know. But now we have this second one, and it just feels like it's snowballing.

Joey: So we're having fun, right? We don't need that wizard guy. We hit some clubs, talk to some strangers then go down to the docks and see about that boat thing.

Ross: I'm kind of beat.
Chandler: Actually me too.
Joey: Are you serious? Thank God. I'm exhausted.

Gunther: You guys want coffees?
Joey: Yeah, but I don't want to be up too late so I'll have a decaf.
Ross: Yeah, me too.
Chandler: Actually, could I get some hot water with a little lemon? I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?
Joey: I can't hear a word you're saying. My ears are ringing so bad.
Ross: I'm just glad I took that extra pair of socks. I used them as mittens. I didn't want to touch a thing in that last place.

Joey: Yeah, and I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Ross: Yeah. And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G and take a bath?
Joey: We're 29. We're not women.

Phoebe: You know what? I want you to take the chef job.
Monica: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah. That's what you really want. I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy. I'd be unhappy. And I really don't want to be the reason I'm unhappy.

Rachel: Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time for all of us. But by any chance, did Joanna send any paperwork your way before ... it happened?
Mrs. Lynch No, nothing. Imagine, if she'd just stepped off that curb a few seconds later.
Rachel: Oh, yes, yes. Yes, just a few seconds and she'd still be with us. Nothing about an assistant buyer?
Mrs. Lynch I'm sorry. I have to go.

Monica: I just want to say that with a pinch of excitement a dash of hard work and a dollop of cooperation we can have the recipe - Are you going to kill me?