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‘The One with Joey's Porsche’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Friends: The One with Joey's Porsche

605. The One with Joey's Porsche

Aired October 21, 1999

After finding the keys to a Porsche in Central Perk's lost and found box, Joey pretends to be the car's owner. Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel try to get their marriage annulled, and Phoebe babysits her brother's triplets.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Did anybody lose their keys?
Monica: Joey, why don't you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: There's a lost and found? My shoe!
Chandler: You left a shoe here?
Joey: Well, I didn't realize till I got home and I wasn't gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe.


Quote from Monica

Joey: I figured if people keep seeing me just standing there, they're gonna start to think I don't own it. So I figure I'll wash it, right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh, yeah. I got soap and sponges and rags and carnauba wax and polishing compound.
Chandler: You don't even have a car.
Monica: I know. But one time there was this really dirty car parked in front of the building, so I washed it.
Chandler: And?
Monica: And six others.
Chandler: There you are.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: Ross didn't get the annulment. We are still married.
Monica: You are kidding?
Phoebe: Oh, my God!
Monica: Ross.
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision, but I just couldn't face another failed marriage.
Chandler: Let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?

Quote from Ross

Ross: And what- What are you typing that for? She already said we don't get the annulment. Don't type that. What- Stop typing. Hey. Stop typing. Stop typing, "stop typing."

Quote from Ross

Ross: You know, I'm sorry, this is insane. I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything. Look, I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now.
Judge: That won't be necessary.
Ross: And when we were dating, we consummated like bunnies.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: That Porsche guy took his car back.
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Joey: No, I just love the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Monica: And people will think you own the Porsche because you're wearing the clothes?
Joey: Of course. Only an idiot would wear this stuff if he didn't have the car.
Chandler: That is true.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: Oh, I am so mad, Ross. I don't think I've ever been this angry.
Ross: What about the time I said we were on a break?

Quote from Rachel

Judge: Okay, you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Rachel: Yes, Your Honor. And here are our forms, all filled out.
Judge: So based on your petition, you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that "Mr. Geller is mentally unstable."
Ross: Fine. I'm mentally unstable.
Judge: And based on the fact that "Mr. Geller is an intravenous drug user."
Ross: What?
Rachel: Yes. Heroin and crack.
Ross: Crack isn't even an intravenous drug.
Rachel: Well, you would know.

Quote from Rachel

Judge: Now, it also says here that you "Iied about your sexual preference before marriage."
Ross: Oh, come on.
Rachel: Ross, please. I found the magazines.
Judge: And, finally, that you were "unable to consummate the marriage." Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin.

Quote from Rachel

Judge: Now, if you two were involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
Rachel: Well, Your Honor, rest assured, that relationship ended two years ago. And you can please strike "consummated like bunnies" from the record?

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