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‘The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends’ Quotes

Friends: The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends

313. The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends

Aired January 30, 1997

After Monica runs into her ex-boyfriend Richard at a video store, the two test the limits of friendship. Meanwhile, Phoebe's boyfriend is putting a little too much on display, and Rachel gets Joey to read Little Women as she reads his favorite book, The Shining.

Quote from Gunther

Gunther: Hey, buddy? This is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.

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Quote from Joey

Rachel: Why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
Joey: I was reading it last night and I got scared, so.
Rachel: But you're safe from it if it's in the freezer?
Joey: Well, safer. I mean, I never start reading The Shining without making sure we've got plenty of room in the freezer.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Now, Rach, these little women. How little are they? I mean, are they, like, scary little?

Quote from Joey

Joey: Beth is really, really sick. Jo's there, but I don't think there's anything she can do.
Rachel: Joey?
Joey: Yeah?
Rachel: You wanna put the book in the freezer?
Joey: Okay.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Richard? Hi.
Richard: Hi.
Monica: Wow. Your lip went bald.

Quote from Monica

Richard: Well, you look great.
Monica: Right.
Richard: No, you do. You just-
Monica: What?
Richard: You got panties stuck to your leg.
Monica: Ahem, that's because I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and static cling. Or maybe it's just because God knew I'd be running into you and saw an opportunity.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: What time will you get off tonight?
Rachel: It could be really late.
Ross: Not again.
Rachel: I know. I'm sorry. I'll make a deal with you, okay? Every night that you're asleep before I get home, I will wake you up in a way that has proved very popular in the past.
Ross: Well, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: We talked for a while, and then we went out for an innocent burger.
Phoebe: Oh. There's no such thing as an "innocent burger".

Quote from Joey

Joey: The question should be, Rach, what is not so great about The Shining? And the answer would be, "nothing."

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Isn't it a bit cold out for shorts?
Robert: Well, I'm from California.
Chandler: Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flame.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Ross, why don't you come with me?
Ross: What is the matter with you? What's going on?
Chandler: Robert's coming out.
Ross: What do you mean? ls he gay?
Chandler: He's coming out of his shorts.
Ross: What?
Chandler: The man is showing brain.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: What do we do? What do we do?
Ross: Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it.
Chandler: Like an eclipse.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Come on, we're gonna put our hands in this bowl and we're gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Richard: This feels very weird.
Monica: You touch people's eyeballs and this feels weird?
Richard: Sure, I touch them. But I spent years learning not to squish them.

Quote from Joey

Joey: These little women.
Chandler: You're liking it, huh?
Joey: Oh, yeah. Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. I don't see how he could forgive her.
Ross: Uh, Jo's a girl. It's short for Josephine.
Joey: But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. Oh. You mean it's like a girl-girl thing? That is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Chandler: No, actually, Laurie's a boy.
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: What? You guys, what is going on? Do you not like Robert? Why are you laughing?
Ross: Calm down. No reason to get testy.

Quote from Monica

Monica: So just out of curiosity, do you currently have any other "racquetball" buddies?
Richard: Just your dad. Although that's actually racquetball.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining?
Rachel: Oh, Danny just went into Room 217.
Joey: Ooh, the next part's the best. That dead lady in the bathtub-
Rachel: No, no, no. Come on. You're gonna ruin it.
Joey: All right, I'll talk in code. Remember when the kid sees those two "blanks" in the hallway?
Chandler: Yeah, that's very cool.
Joey: All "blank" and no "blank" makes "blank" a "blank-blank." No, the end, when Jack almost kills them with that "blank", but at the last second, they get away. Oh.
Rachel: Joey, I can't believe you just did that.
Chandler: I can't believe she cracked your code.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Okay. Laurie proposes to Jo and she says no even though she's still in love with him. Then he ends up marrying Amy.
Joey: Hey, mine was by accident. All right. The boiler explodes and destroys the hotel and kills the dad.
Rachel: [scoffs] Beth dies.

Quote from Rachel

Joey: Beth dies? Is that true? lf I keep reading, is Beth gonna die?
Chandler: No, Beth doesn't die. She doesn't die. Does she, Rachel?
Rachel: What?
Ross: Joey's just asking if you've ruined the first book he's ever loved that didn't star Jack Nicholson.
Rachel: No. She doesn't die.
Joey: Then why would you say that?
Rachel: Because I wanted to hurt you.

Quote from Monica

Monica: You would not believe my day. I had to work two shifts. And then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs in a grill fire.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: Look, Robert's gonna be here any second, so could one of you just tell him? Please, right now. No, every time I see him, it's like "Is it on the loose? ls it watching me?"
Chandler: We can't tell him. You can't go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his "stuff."
Ross: He's right. Even if it's to say something complimentary.

Quote from Phoebe

Robert: You ready for the gym? They've got this new rock-climbing wall. We can spot each other.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can spot you from here.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I think you're really, really great.
Robert: Oh, God. Here we go again.Why does this keep happening? ls it something I'm putting out there? Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts?
Phoebe: I don't know what to say.


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