Chandler Bing Quotes Page 1 of 84

Quote from The One with All the Rugby

Chandler: Janice. There you are. I had to have one last kiss. And also, you said you were going to leave after I got on the plane.
Janice: No. I want to see you take off.
Chandler: Well, then I guess I'm going to Yemen. I'm going to Yemen. [to an elderly woman in line] When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?

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Quote from The One with the Prom Video

Joey: Some girl ate Monica.
Monica: Shut up. The camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Huh. So how many cameras are actually on you?

Quote from The One with the Prom Video

Joey: This is a little extra something for always being there for me.
Chandler: Wow, I don't know what to say. [after opening the box] Wow, I don't know what to say.
Joey: What do you say?
Chandler: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
Joey: Isn't it? And it's engraved, too. Check it out.
Chandler: "To my best bud."
Joey: Thanks, best bud. Put it on.
Chandler: Now? [putting it away in a drawer] No, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion.
Joey: No, that's the beauty part. It goes with everything. When you put this on, you're good to go. Oh, man. You are so wearing that bracelet.
Chandler: I so am.
Joey: Do you have any idea what this will do for your sex life?
Chandler: Well, it will probably slow it down at first, but once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.

Quote from The One with All the Rugby

Airport Announcement: This is the final boarding call for flight 664 to Yemen.
Chandler: Well, I guess I gotta go.
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. I'll wait for you. Do you even know how long you're going to be gone?
Chandler: Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel.
Janice: Oh. Well, I'll write you every day. 15, Yemen Road, Yemen.
Chandler: Okay. Goodbye.

Quote from The One with Joey's Porsche

Rachel: Ross didn't get the annulment. We are still married.
Monica: You are kidding?
Phoebe: Oh, my God!
Monica: Ross.
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision, but I just couldn't face another failed marriage.
Chandler: Let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?

Quote from The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate

Ross: But I don't want to be single, okay? I just want to be married again.
[Rachel rushes into Central Perk wearing a wedding dress]
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!

Quote from The One with the Memorial Service

Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself. "Doctor of paleontology, two kids." Wait a second. You split with Carol because you had different interests? I think you split with Carol because you had one very similar interest.

Quote from The One with the Ick Factor

Phoebe: They even do you.
Chandler: They "do" me?
Phoebe: You know, like, um okay. Okay, um, "Could that report be any later?"
[Joey and Ross laugh]
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Ross: Oh, oh, Chandler.
Joey: Yeah, you do.
Ross: "The hills are alive with the sound of music."
Joey: "My scone."
Joey, Ross and Phoebe: "My scone."
Chandler: I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
[Ross and Joey laugh]
Chandler: That is so not- That is so not- That- Oh, shut up!

Quote from The One with the Embyros

Ross: Ladies?
Monica: Same category.
Ross: "According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejesus out of him?"
Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance.
Ross: That is correct.
Joey: The lrish jig guy?
Chandler: His legs flail about as if independent from his body!

Quote from The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad

Ross: I just found out Elizabeth's dad wants to meet me.
Chandler: Wait a minute. Hold the phone. You're not Elizabeth's dad?

Quote from The One with the Memorial Service

Ross: I'm dead and no one cares?
Monica: I look like a man?
Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time.

Quote from The One with the Prom Video

Phoebe: Hey, Mon, what is this?
Monica: Oh, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was a little bigger then.
Chandler: Oh, I thought that's what they used that to cover Connecticut when it rains.

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