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‘The One With Ross's Step Forward’ Quotes

Friends: The One With Ross's Step Forward

811. The One With Ross's Step Forward

Aired December 13, 2001

Ross freaks out when Mona suggests sending out a holiday card together. Meanwhile, pregnancy hormones kick in and make Rachel very horny, and Chandler tries to get out of spending time with his boss.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Why do you guys need to have this conversation, huh? I mean, no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So where is this going?"
Rachel: Uh, Ross, you asked me that.
Ross: Hey, you were a closed book, okay? I'm not a mind reader!

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Quote from Joey

Rachel: I'll call you back.
Joey: Who was that?
Rachel: Just the pizza place.
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I don't hang up on your friends.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Please promise me that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and we will be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card together this year?
Chandler: Ooh. I don't know if we're there yet.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Phoebe. Look at that guy by the window.
Phoebe: Wow. He's awfully short. And I think he's talking to himself. And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: What is wrong with me lately? I mean it's like, every guy I see. Okay, look at that guy, for example. Normally that's not someone I would be attracted to. But right now, with the way I'm feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Phoebe: Wait a second. This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: This is completely normal. Around the fourth month, your hormones start going crazy.
Rachel: Really? This has happened to you?
Phoebe: Absolutely, yeah. And, keep in mind now, I was carrying triplets. So in medical terms, I was thrice as randy.

Quote from Joey

Ross: Joey, want to see pictures of me and Mona ice-skating?
Joey: Oh. Ordinarily, I would love to, but I am just swamped right now.
Ross: Where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Mona: Oh, yeah. Probably at the end. Oh, my God! All he took were pictures of my breasts.
Joey: I'm missing picture time?

Quote from Ross

Mona: Where are we? You know, where are we? Where is this relationship going?
Ross: Hmm.
Mona: I mean, I love spending time with you. I just hope we're moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that, don't you think?
Ross: Let's do the card!
Mona: What?
Ross: The card. I think we're there.
Mona: Okay. But I still think we should have this conversation.
Ross: Really? I mean, even with the card?

Quote from Rachel

Dr. Schiff: So, how's it going?
Rachel: Really, really good. But enough about me. Come on. Where are you from? What do you do?
Dr. Schiff: I'm a doctor.
Rachel: Right. Right. I meant in your spare time. Do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife, or girlfriend?
Dr. Schiff: I don't have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Rachel: I love to ski. How amazing is this?
Dr. Schiff: So, are you experiencing any discomfort?
Rachel: No, I'm very comfortable.
Dr. Schiff: Any painful gas?
Rachel: No! Dr. Schiff! Shoot. What kind of question is that?
Dr. Schiff: Okay, then. Would you like to lie down on the table?
Rachel: Would you like me to lie down on the table?
Dr. Schiff: I'm sorry. Is there something going on here?
Rachel: Do you feel it too?

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Hey, Ross. How's it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're moving forward. You'll be getting our card.
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Ross: Yeah, we're not just doing a card. She also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Phoebe: Ugh, women.

Quote from Chandler

Doug: Well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised. I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Chandler: What would really help me through this tough time is choking someone. Can I choke you?

Quote from Ross

Ross: Well, I really like you. And I love hanging out with you. And I'm having a lot of fun.
Mona: Okay. There's no point in spending time with someone if it's just fun.
It's gotta be going somewhere, right? So where is it going? That's the real question. And the answer is it's going somewhere fun. I know what you're thinking. Fun was fine for you 10 years ago. But you're not getting any younger. No! I mean, not you. Not you. You are getting younger! I mean, you look like you're getting younger by the second. What's your secret?
Mona: I'm sorry, so where are we?
Ross: Well, to sum up. We're having fun. You look young.
Mona: Okay-
Ross: But that's not enough. So here's a key to my apartment.
Mona: Really?
Ross: Really.
Mona: You don't think this is too fast?
[Ross shakes his head]

Quote from Ross

Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?
Ross: Not just a key. I gave her the only key. I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.

Quote from Ross

Mona: I thought we were moving forward. And now you're sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
Ross: I'm trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Mona: What?
Ross: I love you.
Mona: Oh. Aww. And I love spending time with you.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Okay, this is embarrassing. Lately, with this whole pregnancy thing I'm just finding myself... How do I put this? Erotically charged.
Joey: Is that college talk for "horny"?
Rachel: Yeah.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Listen, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasn't right. And I want to make it up to you. So, um, I brought you something I think you'll really enjoy. Now this is just a loan, okay? I'm gonna want him back. I'm gonna go now. [Phoebe returns and takes the Evander Holyfield cutout back] I'm sorry. I thought I could do it, and I can't.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I have all of these feelings, and I don't know what to do about them. Because I can't date a normal person, which is fine because I don't need a relationship. I mean, all I really want is one great night! Just sex, you know. No strings attached. No relationship. Just with someone that I feel comfortable with, and who knows what he's doing. For just one great night. I mean, is that really so hard to find? ... So how was your day?
Joey: Good. I saw a pretty big pigeon.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early, and it's almost 7:00.
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go to my room.
Rachel: Good night.
Joey: Good night. I can't do it!
Rachel: I didn't ask you to do it.
Joey: You're Rachel.
Rachel: You're Joey.
Joey: You're my friend.
Rachel: Right back at you.
Joey: Plus, it would be wrong, and weird and bad.
Rachel: So bad. But I don't even know what you're talking about, because I didn't ask you to do anything.
Joey: I know. ... You wanna do it?
Rachel: No!
Joey: Me neither. I'm just testing you!
Rachel: Well, that's the end of this conversation.
Joey: This conversation never happened.
Rachel: Never happened. Good night.
Joey: Good night. [Rachel opens her bedroom door] Get back in there!

Quote from Joey

Joey: Congratulations. You just got married.
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Phoebe: Wait. I'm sorry. What's the big deal about a holiday card?
Ross: Married couples send out cards. Families send out cards. People who've been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards. What is she crazy?
Joey: Hey, hey, hey. That's your wife you're talking about!


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