Monica: He pooped in my shoe.
Phoebe: Which one?
Monica: The cute little black ones I wear all the time.
Phoebe: No, which one? The right or left? Because the left one is lucky.

Luisa Gianetti: Okay, are you aware possession of an illegal exotic is punishable by two years in prison and confiscation of the animal?
Phoebe: Oh, my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?
Monica: Pheebs, remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?
Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time.

Phoebe: Oh, my God.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Something brushed up against my right leg.
Monica: What is it?
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg.

Ross: Anyway, I figured after work, I'd pick up some wine, go over there and try to woo her.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890s when that phrase was last used.

Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep and the other side has no idea.

Rachel: Okay. Okay, I checked. We have Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Chamomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry and- Oh, wait, there's one more. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? Okay.

Phoebe: I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with guns and bombs and buses going really fast.

Joey: All right. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna want to do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats. You go to the Russian Tea Room.

Rachel: I guess it would be different if I were with somebody.
Ross: Whoa, what. What happened to "Forget relationships. I'm done with men." The whole penis embargo?

Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so as long as there's a little nudity.
Monica: There was nudity.
Joey: I meant female nudity. All right, I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.
Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: Hugh. Hugh Grant.