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‘The One Where the Monkey Gets Away’ Quotes

Friends: The One Where the Monkey Gets Away

119. The One Where the Monkey Gets Away

Aired March 9, 1995

Ross is excited about the prospect of spending the evening with Rachel, who spent the afternoon looking after Marcel, until he finds out she lost the monkey. As Ross worries that Marcel will be seized as an illegal exotic animal, things go from bad to worse when the Animal Control woman remembers Rachel from high school.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Anyway, I figured after work, I'd pick up some wine, go over there and try to woo her.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890s when that phrase was last used.

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Quote from Phoebe

Monica: He pooped in my shoe.
Phoebe: Which one?
Monica: The cute little black ones I wear all the time.
Phoebe: No, which one? The right or left? Because the left one is lucky.

Quote from Phoebe

Luisa Gianetti: Okay, are you aware possession of an illegal exotic is punishable by two years in prison and confiscation of the animal?
Phoebe: Oh, my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?
Monica: Pheebs, remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?
Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Oh, my God.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Something brushed up against my right leg.
Monica: What is it?
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Okay. Okay, I checked. We have Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Chamomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry and- Oh, wait, there's one more. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? Okay.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: I guess it would be different if I were with somebody.
Ross: Whoa, what. What happened to "Forget relationships. I'm done with men." The whole penis embargo?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with guns and bombs and buses going really fast.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so as long as there's a little nudity.
Monica: There was nudity.
Joey: I meant female nudity. All right, I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.
Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: Hugh. Hugh Grant.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: "Tonight" tonight?
Ross: I think it's perfect. It's just going to be the two of us. She spent all day taking care of my monkey.
Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: We were watching TV and then he pooped in Monica's shoe.
Monica: Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one?
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Monica: Which ones?
Rachel: Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: All right. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna want to do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats. You go to the Russian Tea Room.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: He's a black capuchin monkey with a white face ... and with Russian dressing and pickles on the side. Okay, thanks.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: But let's not drink it here. I'm feeling crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
Ross: Okay, but before we head off to the murder capital of the Northeast, I kind of wanted to run something by you.

Quote from Ross

Ross: I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Rachel: I know. I'm sorry.
Ross: I guess it's partially my fault. You know, I mean, I shouldn't have asked you to start off with a monkey. I should have started you off with, like, a pen or a pencil.

Quote from Ross

Ross: You called Animal Control?
Rachel: Why? Do you not like them?
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Rachel: Okay, well, now, see, you never ever, ever told us that.
Ross: That's right, because I didn't expect you were going to invite them to the apartment.

Quote from Rachel

Luisa Gianetti: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. Would it have been hard to say, "Morning, Luisa" or "Nice overalls"?
Monica: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Luisa Gianetti: It's not so much you. You were fat. You had your own problems. But you. What a bitch.
Rachel: What?

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: No, wait. We may not know about radiators, per se, but we do have a certain expertise in the heating and cooling milieu.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep and the other side has no idea.


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