Amy: Listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything because you know, you'd be dead. But I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily.
Ross: Emma.
Amy: Emma, Ross wants you.
Phoebe: Phoebe!
Amy: Why does she keep making that noise?

Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this but if something were to happen to Ross or myself you wouldn't get the baby.
Amy: Well, who would?
Ross: Well, we haven't officially asked them yet but we would want Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Monica: Yeah. Oh, my God, I'm so moved.
Amy: I don't believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Rachel: Amy, see, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully, honey, you don't seem connected to the baby.
Amy: Connected? I mean, to what? She's a lump.
Chandler: You know, guys, I've gotta say this means so much to me. I mean, that you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know, I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but- That you two- That you two-
Amy: This guy? Seriously?

Ross: Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
Charlie: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Amy: Hi, hi. And you are?
Ross: Ross? I grew up on your block? We had Thanksgiving together last year? I had a baby with your sister?
Amy: No. I- Did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Ross: Yes. Yes, you did.

Ross: Hey, Amy.
Rachel: Amy, you remember Ross?
Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date.
Ross: That was me.
Amy: No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade.
Ross: Still me.
Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro.
Ross: Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me!

Amy: You know? When I moved in here, I thought, "This is going to be so great. Just us sisters back together again like when we were kids." Except without that stupid Jill. Oh. Who has gotten fat, by the way.
Rachel: Seriously?
Amy: Mom said she gained, like, 15 pounds.
Rachel: Hips or thighs?
Amy: Ass and face.
Rachel: Oh, my God! I thought she was on Atkins.
Amy: She was. Carbs found her.

Amy: Oh, my God. Is this Emmett?
Rachel: It's Emma.
Amy: It's a girl?

Amy: Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs?
Ross: Sure. We don't live there, but...
Amy: Seriously? It's just these rooms? I thought you were a doctor.
Rachel: Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D.
Amy: Ew!

Amy: Stupid Thanksgiving.
Rachel: What? What? What happened?
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean, I finally find a real relationship. Someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys.
Ross: Don't say that.

Monica: So welcome. Is this the first time you're seeing Emma?
Amy: Yeah, I think so. It's nice to meet you, Emma.
Phoebe: Phoebe.
Amy: That's a funny noise.

Amy: Where's the baby?
Rachel: We just put her down for a nap.
Amy: Listen, I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died!
Ross: Thank you, Amy.
Amy: No, no, then I would get the baby. I mean, you know, it would be just like a movie. At first I wouldn't know what to do with her. And then I would rise to the occasion. Then I'd get a makeover and get married.
Phoebe: That's a great movie!