Rachel: Listen, you know what? Sir, for the last time, I don't care what the computer says. We did not take a bag of Mashuga Nuts from the mini bar. And we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little.
Joey: Hey.
Phoebe: Uh, Joey, were you in our room last night?
Joey: No. [Phoebe shows Joey the bill they're challenging] I was told the name of movie would not appear on the bill.

Front Desk Clerk: Here's a copy of your bill.
Monica: Oh, thanks. Champagne, strawberries- Oh, my God! I can't believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night.
Joey: Yeah, that's sad. Mashuga Nut?

Monica: Hey, how are you feeling? Got any morning sickness?
Rachel: Ssh. The guys don't know, do they?
Monica: No. Joey and Ross don't know anything and Chandler still thinks Phoebe's pregnant.
Phoebe: Hey, that's right. Chandler does still think I'm pregnant. He hasn't asked me how I'm feeling, or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. After you, of course.

Rachel: Hey, Joey, what would you do if someone you slept with told you she was pregnant?
Joey: Who called here? Did she sound blond? Did she have an accent? I gotta make a call. I should have never walked into that Sunglass Hut!

Joey: What the hell's going on? Is somebody pregnant?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That's me.
Joey: Oh, my God, Pheebs. You're gonna have a baby?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes, I am. Oh, my God, I'm gonna have a baby.
Joey: Wait a minute, who's the father?
Phoebe: You don't know him. It's not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby.
Joey: Who is this guy? Who is this guy? Because I will track him down and kick his ass!
Phoebe: David Linn.
Joey: David Linn! David Linn! David Linn!
Monica: Who's David Linn?
Phoebe: Oh, some guy from my gym. Little annoying.

Joey: Pheebs? Listen. Sit down, I got something I want to say.
Phoebe: All right.
Joey: It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Now, I always felt that you and I have a special bond. So, Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Monica: Oh, my God! Joey!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, I'll marry you.
Monica: You can't marry him!
Phoebe: Hey, lady, your day's over, it's my turn.
Monica: Phoebe!
Joey: What? Why can't she marry me?
Phoebe: I can and I will.
Monica: She's not pregnant. It's Rachel. Rachel's the one who's pregnant, okay.
Joey: Oh, my God.
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe, I think he'd notice when you didn't have a baby in nine months.
Phoebe: It's Joey! [mouths] I love you!

Joey: Hey, Rach, listen. No matter what this guy says. I want you to know, you're not going to be alone in this.
Rachel: I'm not?
Joey: No. Listen. It's a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. I've always felt like you and I have this special bond, you know. Rachel Green, will you marry me?
Rachel: What?
Monica: What?
Phoebe: What?!
Joey: Pheebs, give me the ring back.
Phoebe: No!

Chandler: Okay, so this isn't a picture of our first kiss but it is a picture of my first kiss with this lady. Which, by the look on your face, I'm sure you'll remember, so we don't need this. There's no need- How about I take the real pictures to get developed now?
Monica: That'd be a good idea.
Chandler: You opened all the presents without me? I thought we were supposed to do that together.
Monica: You kissed another woman?
Chandler: Call it even?
Monica: Okay. [Monica and Chandler high-five]

Ross: Well, I'm going to go put these in some water.
Phoebe: You stole those from these people's wedding?
Ross: No, no. I took them from the hotel lobby. They think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another thing coming.

Ross: Hey, my sweater. I've been looking for this for like a month.
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, my God!
[after a long pause]
Joey: Oh, my God!