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‘The One with the Ballroom Dancing’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Ballroom Dancing

404. The One with the Ballroom Dancing

Aired October 16, 1997

When Joey confronts Mr. Treeger for making Rachel cry, he threatens to evict Monica and Rachel unless Joey teaches him to dance. Meanwhile, Chandler calls on Ross for backup when he decides to quit the gym, and Phoebe struggles to resist temptation when she massages an attractive man.

Quote from Monica

Rachel: You got us evicted?
Monica: I told you not to go down there.
Joey: He made Rachel cry.
Monica: Rachel always cries!
Rachel: [sobbing] That's not true.

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Quote from Phoebe

Interview: So it looks like you've got great experience here. Let's see. Reason for leaving last job?
Phoebe: Yeah, they thought I was a whore.
Interview: Okay. We'll give you a call if anything comes up.
Phoebe: Great. Thank you very much.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Hey, Mr. Treeger.
Mr. Treeger: What are you doing?
Rachel: I'm sorry. It's a little old but ... [opens the pizza box she was throwing away]
Mr. Treeger: You're clogging up the chute I just spent a half-hour unclogging.
Rachel: I'm sorry. I don't come in here a lot.
Mr. Treeger: Of course you don't because you're a little princess. Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing "Happy Birthday" to me. You think you can just come here make a mess and a big man in coveralls will come and clean it up? Well, why don't you think of someone else for a change?
Rachel: [sobbing] Okay, I'm sorry.
[Rachel returns to the apartment with the pizza box]
Monica: God, if you're going to cry about it!

Quote from Rachel

Monica: Rachel, you just put an empty carton back in the fridge.
Rachel: Yeah, I know, but the garbage was full.
Monica: Have you ever taken out the trash?
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it.

Quote from Rachel

Joey: Whoa. Whoa. Treeger made you cry?
Rachel: Yeah. He said really mean things that were only partly true.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: So why don't you quit?
Chandler: You don't think I've tried? You think I like having $50 a month taken out of my bank account every month? They make you go all the way down there. They use all these phrases and peppiness to confuse you. And then they bring out Maria.
Ross: Who is Maria?
Chandler: Oh, Maria! You can't say no to her. She's like this lycra, spandex-covered, gym treat.
Ross: Do you need me to go with you and hold your hand?
Chandler: No.
Ross: So you're strong enough to face her alone?
Chandler: Oh, no. You'll have to come.

Quote from Joey

Mr. Treeger: Tribbiani. Hold on. I'll get the plunger.

Quote from Joey

Joey: You made my friend Rachel cry. So you'll go and apologize to her unless you want me to call the landlord.
Mr. Treeger: And tell him what?
Joey: Maybe you haven't heard of "not making girls cry."
Mr. Treeger: Maybe you haven't heard of the Rent Stabilization Act of 1968.
Joey: I have actually not heard of that.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Somebody tell me I don't have to work today.
Monica: Why, what's the matter?
Phoebe: My first massage is this incredibly gorgeous guy. Every time I see him, I want to do things to him I can't charge for.
Monica: So do them for free.
Phoebe: Oh, no. It is forbidden. Mrs. Potter fires people for messing around with clients. And it's against my oath as a masseuse.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
Phoebe: No, I made myself take one. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and always be prepared. That one's actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.

Quote from Phoebe

Chandler: Why don't you just give him to someone else?
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. I'm a professional.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?
Monica: Oh, and you got a pedicure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Chandler: Because that's the only part he can see when he's on the table.
Monica: You're going to do some feet flirting!
Phoebe: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ross: Then how do you explain the toe ring?
Phoebe: Because it's Arabian Princess Day at work, okay? Leave me alone!

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I want to quit the gym.
Staff Member: You want to quit?
Chandler: I want to quit the gym.
Staff Member: You do realize you won't have access to our full-circle new Swedish spa?
Chandler: I want to quit the gym.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Please don't kick the girls out. This was my fault.
Mr. Treeger: You want me to kick you guys out instead?
Joey: No, you can't do that. Where would the chick and the duck live?
Mr. Treeger: You have pets?
Joey: No. Those are nicknames. I'm the "chick," and Chandler's the "duck."
Mr. Treeger: Huh. I would've thought it was the other way around.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: We're doomed. They'll take $50 a month from our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?
Monica: Well, you could actually go to the gym.
[Ross and Chandler laugh]
Ross: Or we could go to the bank close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
Chandler: You're a genius.
Joey: Oh, man. But then, we won't be bank buddies.
Chandler: Now there's two reasons.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Next time, try to distract yourself.
Joey: Yeah. Like when I'm doing something exciting and I don't want to get too excited. I just try and think of other things. Like sandwiches and baseball and ... Chandler.
Chandler: Thank you, Joey.
Joey: Oh, no, thank you.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Okay. Baseball. Rick playing baseball. He slides into second. Maybe even his pants come down a little. No, no, Okay, sandwiches. Sandwiches. Okay, on a plate. Maybe Rick's pants come down a little. No, no. Chandler. Okay, Chandler. Ooh, that's working! ... Chandler's knees. Chandler's ankles. Chandler's ankle hair.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: So you didn't leave the bank?
Ross: And somehow we ended up with a joint checking account.
Rachel: What are you ever going to use that for?
Chandler: To pay for the gym.

Quote from Chandler

Mr. Treeger: Hey, Duck. Is Chick here?
Chandler: Yeah, Bunny Rabbit.

Quote from Rachel

Monica: Joey, don't. I think it's best we just forget about it.
Rachel: That's easy for you to say. You weren't almost just killed.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: You guys, remember that cute client I told you about? I bit him.
Rachel: Where?
Phoebe: On the tushy.
Ross: And that's not against your oath?
Phoebe: No, I know. I'm sorry, but the moment I touch him I want to throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.


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