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‘The One with the Tiny T-Shirt’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Tiny T-Shirt

319. The One with the Tiny T-Shirt

Aired March 27, 1997

When Rachel is asked out for the first time since she broke up with Ross, she accepts she needs to move on and decides to return a box of Ross's stuff. Meanwhile, Joey can't stop thinking about his frustrating new co-star, Kate, and Monica realizes she doesn't feel anything for Pete.

Quote from Gunther

Rachel: All right, let's go shopping.
Mark: Before we go, there's something I need to say. I've kind of had this crush on you. Since you were with Ross, I didn't do anything about it. But now that you're not, I'd really like to ask you out sometime. So that's what I'm doing .. now.
[Gunther goes out back. A huge clatter is heard, followed by another. Gunther returns.]
Gunther: I dropped a cup.

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Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Hey, why isn't it "Spiderman"? Like Goldman, Silverman?
Chandler: Because it's not his last name.
Phoebe: It isn't?
Chandler: It's not, like, Phil Spiderman. He's a Spider-Man: You know, like, Goldman is a last name. But there's no Gold-Man.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be a Gold-Man!

Quote from Chandler

Ross: He's going in. He's going in. The door's closed. I can't see anything with the door closed.
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: [entering the apartment] Oh, Mommy. Oh, Daddy. I am a big old baddy. Oh, Mommy. Oh, Daddy. I am a big old baddy. [leaves]
Ross: I guess he must've gotten the part in that play.
Chandler: Either that, or Gloria Estefan was right. Eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.

Quote from Gunther

Gunther: [inner monologue] "Say, Rachel l was wondering if you'd go to a movie with me sometime ... as my lover. Too out there. Maybe you'd like to get something to eat with me sometime ... as my lover."

Quote from Joey

Kate: Where do I know you from?
Joey: Dr. Drake Ramoray? Days of our Lives? Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat?
Kate: No, that's not it. So you're a soap actor. Well, this must be exciting for you, being in a real play.
Joey: Hey, I've done plays before. I'm a serious actor.
Kate: That infomercial. For the milk-carton-spout thing. You're the guy who doesn't know how to pour milk.
Joey: See, I actually can pour milk. But I got you believing that I couldn't. Now, see, that's acting.
Kate: Right. At the end, you choked on a cookie.
Joey: Yeah, that was real.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: But it was so strange. I mean, I'm standing there with this charming, cute guy who's asking me to go out with him, which I'm allowed to do and I felt guilty, like I'd be cheating on Ross or something.
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means you're not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Rachel: I don't have issues with my father.
Phoebe: Okay. So it's probably just the Ross thing.

Quote from Joey

Joey: I hate this woman. I hate her. She told everyone about that infomercial and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. And whenever I can't do it, they're all, like, laughing at me.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey, this was a gift.
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
Ross: It's still a gift. I got it from the "gift" shop.

Quote from Joey

Phoebe: You know what? You should, like, buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Pete: Like, "Pete Dakota"?
Phoebe: Or "Mississi-Pete."
Joey: Oh, oh, I got it: "Pete Chicago."
Chandler: That's not a state, Joe.
Joey: Oh, and "Mississi-Pete" is?

Quote from Chandler

Ross: I knew it. I knew it. I always knew she liked him. She'd say no, but here we are. We just broke up, first thing she does.
Chandler: You didn't "just break up."
Ross: Hey, it's been, like, three weeks.
Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower.

Quote from Phoebe

Chandler: So what kind of powers would "Gold Man" have?
Phoebe: Okay. Well, he would turn things to gold.
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
Phoebe: Ah, his work is done.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: Okay, I have a friend, Jimmy Tupperman, what would his powers be?
Chandler: Tupper Man! He would keep criminals fresh until the police came.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Where's the rest of my stuff? Like my ... Hey, this book is mine. And that T-shirt you sleep in? I'd like that back too. Yes, I do.
Rachel: You know how much I love that T-shirt. You never even wear that T-shirt.
Ross: I'm just trying to help you "move on."
Rachel: Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty-
Ross: Petty.
Rachel: -petty, petty. Small.
Ross: Small.
Rachel: You are so just doing this out of spite.
Ross: Oh, no. I'm gonna wear this all the time. I love this shirt!
Rachel: You haven't worn that t-shirt since you were 15. It doesn't even fit you anymore.
Ross: Okay, okay. [puts on the tiny t-shirt] If you don't mind, I'm gonna take the rest of my stuff ... and "relax" in my favorite shirt.


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