Rachel: All right, let's go shopping.
Mark: Before we go, there's something I need to say. I've kind of had this crush on you. Since you were with Ross, I didn't do anything about it. But now that you're not, I'd really like to ask you out sometime. So that's what I'm doing .. now.
[Gunther goes out back. A huge clatter is heard, followed by another. Gunther returns.]
Gunther: I dropped a cup.

Phoebe: Hey, why isn't it "Spiderman"? Like Goldman, Silverman?
Chandler: Because it's not his last name.
Phoebe: It isn't?
Chandler: It's not, like, Phil Spiderman. He's a Spider-Man: You know, like, Goldman is a last name. But there's no Gold-Man.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be a Gold-Man!

Joey: [entering the apartment] Oh, Mommy. Oh, Daddy. I am a big old baddy. Oh, Mommy. Oh, Daddy. I am a big old baddy. [leaves]
Ross: I guess he must've gotten the part in that play.
Chandler: Either that, or Gloria Estefan was right. Eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.

Ross: He's going in. He's going in. The door's closed. I can't see anything with the door closed.
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.

Phoebe: You know what? You should, like, buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Pete: Like, "Pete Dakota"?
Phoebe: Or "Mississi-Pete."
Joey: Oh, oh, I got it: "Pete Chicago."
Chandler: That's not a state, Joe.
Joey: Oh, and "Mississi-Pete" is?

Kate: Where do I know you from?
Joey: Dr. Drake Ramoray? Days of our Lives? Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat?
Kate: No, that's not it. So you're a soap actor. Well, this must be exciting for you, being in a real play.
Joey: Hey, I've done plays before. I'm a serious actor.
Kate: That infomercial. For the milk-carton-spout thing. You're the guy who doesn't know how to pour milk.
Joey: See, I actually can pour milk. But I got you believing that I couldn't. Now, see, that's acting.
Kate: Right. At the end, you choked on a cookie.
Joey: Yeah, that was real.

Joey: I hate this woman. I hate her. She told everyone about that infomercial and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. And whenever I can't do it, they're all, like, laughing at me.

Ross: Hey, this was a gift.
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
Ross: It's still a gift. I got it from the "gift" shop.

Ross: I knew it. I knew it. I always knew she liked him. She'd say no, but here we are. We just broke up, first thing she does.
Chandler: You didn't "just break up."
Ross: Hey, it's been, like, three weeks.
Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower.

Chandler: So what kind of powers would "Gold Man" have?
Phoebe: Okay. Well, he would turn things to gold.
Chandler: What about things that are already gold?
Phoebe: Ah, his work is done.