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‘The One with Ross's Denial’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Ross's Denial

603. The One with Ross's Denial

Aired October 7, 1999

Even as Ross denies still being in love with Rachel, he invites her to move in with him. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler's plans to live together are thrown in doubt when they argue over the spare bedroom, and Joey attempts to find a new roommate.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] I found you in my bed, How'd you wind up there? You are a mystery, Little black curly hair, Little black curly hair, Little black, little black, little black, Little black curly hair.

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Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Thank you. Now, if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Pheebs, I want to ask you something. Since I'm moving out, and you're so beautiful, how about I move in with you?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great, but then what do we do about Denise?
Monica: Who's Denise?
Phoebe: My roommate.
Rachel: You have a roommate?
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise.
Joey: What is with the secrecy, Phoebe? And what about this Denise? Is she cute?
Chandler: Pheebs, I don't understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know about?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time. Denise!

Quote from Ross

Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving-in thing? I mean, it's a really big step. And what's the rush?
[Chandler and Monica laugh]
Monica: That's very funny.
Chandler: He's being silly because he knows we enjoy the silliness.
Ross: No, I'm serious. I mean, think about it. You move in. You start fighting over stupid game rooms. Next thing you know, you break up.
Monica: Ross, you were right before. It was just a stupid fight about a room.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights. This isn't about the room. This is about what the room represents. And unfortunately, this room could destroy you.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Monica: Yeah, me neither.
Ross: Fine. It's your life. I just don't want to see you guys break up. Which you will do if you move in together. But if that's what you want, there's nothing I can do. Don't do it!

Quote from Gunther

Gunther: So I understand you're looking for a place?
Rachel: No. No, I'm staying put.
Gunther: Oh. I was going to offer you my apartment.
Rachel: Why? Where you going?
Gunther: I don't know.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Hey.
Phoebe: Hey, check it out, this is unbelievable. Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes. [Chandler holds Joey's nose shut]
Joey: Dude, you trying to kill me?

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Hey, Rach, listen. I'm gonna have an extra room over at my place.
Rachel: Oh, that's true.
Joey: Yeah, why don't you move in with me. We can stay up late talking, and watch movies. And you know about naked Thursdays, right?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah. I think I'm going to find my own place.
Chandler: Hey, hey. I thought naked Thursdays was just our thing, man.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: Hey, so what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Ross: Oh, that. Um. She took it really well.
Phoebe: Oh. You didn't tell her, did you?
Ross: No.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: It was a hug.
Phoebe: All right, just tell me this. Did you, or did you not, smell her hair?
Ross: Smell her hair? What if I did?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a woman's pheromones come out of the top of her head. That's why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them. Come on, Ross, you're a scientist.

Quote from Ross

Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. It's not my fault her hair got in my face. She's got a lot of it, and it smells all ... all ... coconutty. What? Oh, it doesn't mean I have feelings for Rachel. Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful. Rachel's not in the same place you are.
Ross: If the place you're referring to is being in love, then she is in the same place as me, because I am not in that place.
Phoebe: Okay, I didn't understand that. But, you know, maybe that's because you were speaking the secret language of love.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Well, I like that idea, obviously. But I was thinking maybe, maybe it could be a game room, you know. I mean, you can buy old arcade games, like Space lnvaders and Asteroids
for $200. The real ones. The big, big, big ones.
Monica: No.
Chandler: Okay, so you mean "No" as in: "Gee, Chandler. What an interesting idea. Let's discuss it before we reject it completely."
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Of course, honey. Yes. Interesting idea. Talk about it. But no.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: I just don't think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room's going to be filled with antiques.
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect. It's the oldest game.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Chandler: Nothing. I don't have anything against the beautiful guest room. Especially since everybody that we know lives about 30 seconds away.
Monica: Are you mocking me?
Chandler: No, I'm not mocking you or your beautiful guest room.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is a nightmare. Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this. "Wanted: Female roommate, nonsmoker, non-ugly." There's nothing. This city is full.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Wait. No, look at this! "Two bedroom, two bath. Must be nonsmoker. Satan worshipers okay." Oh. Yeah, but it's on the ground floor.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: It is not my fault your chairs are incredibly ugly.
Chandler: All right, that's fine. That's fine. I won't bring over the chairs. I won't bring anything. I wouldn't want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandma's place!

Quote from Ross

Ross: I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Rachel: Thanks. But listen, I was just at Monica's and she and Chandler had a big fight and they're not moving in.
Ross: What do you mean, not moving in? They're still moving in, right?

Quote from Ross

Ross: What's all this about you guys fighting? Is this really over a room? I mean, that is so silly.
Monica: Ross, we can handle this.
Ross: Well, apparently not. And I can't stand by and watch two people I care about so much be hurt by something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness.
Chandler: Well, why don't you tell her to stop being silly.
Monica: [mimicking Chandler]
Ross: Okay, okay. Two very good points. Look, I've known you both a long time. And I've never seen either of you one-millionth as happy as you've been since you got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. I mean, what's more important, love or silliness?

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness. But we also have a soft spot for the love.
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
Chandler: That's "Iaughter."
Monica: Why do you do it?
Chandler: I don't know.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Now, Chandler, you want to live with Monica, right?
Chandler: Yeah, I do.
Ross: And, Mon, you want to live with Chandler?
Monica: Yes.
Ross: Good. A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Why would it be weird?
Rachel: Well, you know, because of us. Because of our history.
Ross: No.
Rachel: No?
Ross: No, no. It would only be weird if we were still in "that place." I mean, are you still in that place?
Rachel: No, not at all.
Ross: Good. Me neither. So it's not a problem. We're just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Rachel: Okay, but, Ross, eventually you and I are going to be dating.
Ross: Really? We are?
Rachel: Well, yeah. I'm gonna have a boyfriend and you're gonna have a girlfriend.
Ross: Oh. That'd be great.
Rachel: But you know, if you think it's gonna be okay, we'll just work out a system. You know, it'll be like in college. I'll hang a hanger on the door and put a sign: "Come back later. I'm getting lucky."
Ross: [laughs] Yeah, I didn't think of that.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: You still want to move in together, right?
Chandler: Of course.
Monica: Ross didn't scare you?
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: I want to show you something too.
Monica: Okay.
Chandler: You know those big road signs that say "merge"?
Monica: Uh-huh.
Chandler: Well, I was thinking we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because that's you and I together. "Merge."
Monica: Oh, my God. I love that.
Chandler: Really?
Monica: "No."

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: Uh, listen, Ross. You really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Ross: I've been back and forth.
Joey: Yeah, well, maybe you should go back. Okay. Rachel moves in, and before you know it, you're right where you don't want to be, back together.
Ross: Yeah, I don't think so. She's already talking about dating other guys.
Joey: That's not going to work out. Then she's going to come home all weepy and you'll be telling her, "Oh, that's okay. You'll find someone." And then, bam. She finds you.
Ross: Huh. Okay. Maybe you're right.
Joey: I am telling you, Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again. Now, is that what you want?
Ross: [scoffs] Is that what I want?
Phoebe: [over microphone] Yes.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Rach, why don't you just move in with me?
Ross: Whoa, whoa. Whoa, Joey.
Joey: Look, Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole naked-Thursdays thing, but we don't have to do that.
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless you're thinking about naked Wednesdays.
Joey: Thursday's clearly not good for you. Pick a day.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Okay, there have been a lot of people interested in the room. But I have narrowed it down, and you're one of the finalists.
Woman: Great.
Joey: Now, before I decide, I just want to be sure our personalities match. So I made up a little test. Now, I'm gonna say a word, and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Woman: I can do that.
Joey: Okay, here we go. Pillow.
Woman: Fight.
Joey: Very good. "G."
Woman: String?
Joey: Excellent. Okay. Doggy.
Woman: Kitten?
Joey: Ooh, sorry. No, no, no. So close, though. Bye-bye.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Everything on your application looks really good. Oh, just one last question. Are you and your friends be over here all the time, like, partying and hanging out?
Woman: Oh, don't worry. I'm not really a party girl.
Joey: Whoa. Now, don't just be blurting stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers.


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