‘The One with the Breast Milk’
Season 2, Episode 2 - Aired September 28, 1995
Despite criticising Chandler and Joey for being uncomfortable around Carol as she breast-fed Ben, Ross is freaked out when Phoebe tastes Carol's breast milk. Meanwhile, Rachel feels betrayed when Monica spends time with Ross's new girlfriend, Julie, while Joey faces competition at work when a new cologne spritzer moves in on his area.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: You were with Julie?
Monica: Look, when it started, I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then one thing led to another and before I knew it, we were shopping.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, my God!
Monica: Honey, wait, we only did it once. It didn't meant anything to me.
Rachel: Yeah, right, sure.
Monica: Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right? I never meant for you to find out.
Rachel: Oh, please! Please! You wanted to get caught!
Monica: That is not true!
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Rachel: Okay, Monica, I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? [Monica is silent, Rachel whimpers] Okay, I just really need to not be with you right now.
Quote from Phoebe
Joey: Monica, what are you doing? You can't go shopping with her. What about Rachel?
Monica: This is going to be a problem, isn't it?
Chandler: I mean, come on. You're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie. It's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
Monica: But I-
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street!
Quote from Chandler
Carol: How did we do?
Phoebe: I tasted Ben's milk and Ross freaked out.
Ross: I did not freak out.
Carol: Why'd you freak out?
Ross: Because it's breast milk. It's gross!
Carol: My breast milk is gross?
Susan: This should be fun.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
Chandler: Of course, the packaging does appeal to grownups and kids.
Quote from Ross
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it. It's no big deal. Come on, just taste it.
Ross: That would be no.
Joey: Come on. Try it.
Phoebe: It's natural. It doesn't taste bad.
Joey: Yeah, it tastes kind of sweet. Sort of like.
Ross: Like what?
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
Joey: Exactly.
Ross: You've tasted it? You've tasted it?
Susan: Uh-huh.
Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Ross: [rolls up his sleeve] Give me the bottle. [squeezes drops on to his arm] Get me the towel. [wipes them off, then storms out]
Quote from Susan
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Quote from Joey
Ross: This is my son having lunch, okay? It'll happen a lot, so get used to it. If you have a problem, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it. Come on.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Carol: Sure.
Joey: Does it hurt?
Carol: It did at first, but not anymore.
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: So, how often can you do it?
Carol: As much as he needs.
Joey: Okay, I got one, I got one. If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
Quote from Susan
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute!
Susan: I got that for him!
Ross: "My Mommies Love Me." That's clever.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: [entering the coffee shop] Hi, honey.
Chandler: Hey, sweetums.
Ross: And hello to the rest.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You know, it's. [sees Carol breast feeding] Something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back.
Quote from Joey
Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Chandler: We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?
Ross: Look, will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.
Joey: Yeah, we know. But there's a baby sucking on it.