TV Quotes

Rachel: You were with Julie?
Monica: Look, when it started, I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then one thing led to another and before I knew it, we were shopping.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, my God!
Monica: Honey, wait, we only did it once. It didn't meant anything to me.
Rachel: Yeah, right, sure.
Monica: Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right? I never meant for you to find out.
Rachel: Oh, please! Please! You wanted to get caught!
Monica: That is not true!
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Rachel: Okay, Monica, I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? [Monica is silent, Rachel whimpers] Okay, I just really need to not be with you right now.

Joey: Monica, what are you doing? You can't go shopping with her. What about Rachel?
Monica: This is going to be a problem, isn't it?
Chandler: I mean, come on. You're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie. It's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
Monica: But I-
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street!

Carol: How did we do?
Phoebe: I tasted Ben's milk and Ross freaked out.
Ross: I did not freak out.
Carol: Why'd you freak out?
Ross: Because it's breast milk. It's gross!
Carol: My breast milk is gross?
Susan: This should be fun.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
Chandler: Of course, the packaging does appeal to grownups and kids.

Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it. It's no big deal. Come on, just taste it.
Ross: That would be no.
Joey: Come on. Try it.
Phoebe: It's natural. It doesn't taste bad.
Joey: Yeah, it tastes kind of sweet. Sort of like.
Ross: Like what?
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
Joey: Exactly.
Ross: You've tasted it? You've tasted it?
Susan: Uh-huh.
Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Ross: [rolls up his sleeve] Give me the bottle. [squeezes drops on to his arm] Get me the towel. [wipes them off, then storms out]

Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.

Ross: This is my son having lunch, okay? It'll happen a lot, so get used to it. If you have a problem, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it. Come on.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Carol: Sure.
Joey: Does it hurt?
Carol: It did at first, but not anymore.
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: So, how often can you do it?
Carol: As much as he needs.
Joey: Okay, I got one, I got one. If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?

Rachel: Oh, this is so cute!
Susan: I got that for him!
Ross: "My Mommies Love Me." That's clever.

Chandler: You know, it's. [sees Carol breast feeding] Something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back.

Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Chandler: We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?
Ross: Look, will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.
Joey: Yeah, we know. But there's a baby sucking on it.

Julie: Oh, you're losing your apron. Here let me get it for you. There you go.
Rachel: Thank you. [after Julie goes] What a bitch!