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‘The One with Ross's New Girlfriend’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Ross's New Girlfriend

201. The One with Ross's New Girlfriend

Aired September 21, 1995

After working up the courage to tell him how she feels about him, Rachel struggles to deal with the fact Ross has returned from his trip to China with a new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Monica takes issue with her new hairdresser, Phoebe, and Chandler feels violated by Joey's tailor.

Quote from Rachel

Monica: This is amazing. How did this happen?
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. And I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig?
Rachel: Julie! Julie! Isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?

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Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. I mean, you could "get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true."

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: You sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Monica: How who wears it?
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Monica: Demi Moore is not a "he."
Phoebe: Well, he was a "he" in Arthur and in 10.
Monica: That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh, my God.
Monica: Oh, God!
Phoebe: Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Which one is Demi Moore?
Monica: She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost!
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
Monica: I know!

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Go see Frankie. My family's been going to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No, wait, 16. No, excuse me, 15. All right, when was 1990?
Chandler: Okay, you have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance!

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Enough about me, Mr. Back From The Orient! Come on, I wanna hear everything! Everything!
Ross: Well, where do I start? Uh, well, this is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Hi. Uh, these are - These are aren't for you. These are for you. [speaking loudly] Welcome to our country.
Julie: [speaking loudly] Thank you. I'm from New York.
Rachel: Well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: You gotta hear this story.
Julie: We're on this bus that's easily 200 years old.
Ross: Easily. Two hundred, at least.
Julie: And this guy-
Rachel: And the chicken poops in her lap! Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't l? Oh, it's just I heard this story in the cab and it is all I can think about.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: We just wanted to say a quick hi. Then we're gonna go see the baby.
Julie: And then we gotta get some sleep.
Ross: Yeah, it's really 6:00 tomorrow night, our time.
Chandler: Okay, listen, well don't tell us what's gonna happen. Okay? Because I like to be surprised.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?
Ross: Sure.
Chandler: Hey, Rach-
Rachel: Did you talk to him yet?
Chandler: No.
Rachel: Then, no.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: What the hell happened to you in China? When last we left you, you were in love with, you know.
Ross: I know. I know I was. But there was always this little voice inside that kept saying: "It's never gonna happen. Move on." You know whose voice that was?
Chandler: God?
Ross: It was you, pal.
Chandler: Well, maybe it was God doing me.
Ross: You were right. She looks at me and sees a friend. That's all. And then I met Julie and, I don't know, we're having a great time. And I have to say I never would have gone for it, if it hadn't been for you.
Chandler: Well, you owe me one, big guy.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Here's your lemonade.
Ross: I didn't order lemonade.
Rachel: Oh, well, then you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Ross: But?
Rachel: Go, go, go! Come one.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: So what did you find out?
Chandler: He said- He said- He said they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made this decision all by himself without any outside help whatsoever.
Rachel: How is that a silver lining?
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Hey, Pheebs. You know what I'm thinking?
Phoebe: Oh, okay. How it's been so long since you've had sex that you're wondering if they've changed it?
Monica: No. Although now that's what I'm thinking.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Anybody know a good tailor?
Joey: You need clothes altered?
Chandler: No, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Okay, bye. That is so sweet. Okay. No, you hang up. No, you- One, two, three. Well, you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: She didn't hang up.
Ross: No, you hang up. You. You.
Rachel: [Rachel grabs the phone and hangs up.] Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.

Quote from Monica

Monica: How did this happen? I kind of ran into him last night.
Monica: Where?
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Joey: And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Rachel: Oh, God, I know. I'm pathetic, I'm a loser.
Monica: Honey, you're not pathetic. You're just sad.
Chandler: I mean, people do stupid things when they're upset.
Monica: My God, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't- But this is about your horrible mistake.

Quote from Chandler

Frankie: How long do you want the cuffs?
Chandler: Well, at least as long as I have the pants.

Quote from Ross

Chandler: Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man!
Joey: Frankie? What are you talking about?
Ross: Hey, what's going on?
Chandler: Joey's tailor took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Chandler: Oh, come on. He said he was gonna do my inseam. Then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite-
Ross: What?
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over. Then they go up the other side, move it back, and then they do the rear.
Joey: What? Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes, it is. In prison!

Quote from Rachel

Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, like Andie MacDowell's haircut.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, I could do that.
Julie: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah, you wanna do it now?
Julie: Okay, great!
Phoebe: [to Rachel] Okay, I just wanna make really sure this time. Andie MacDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. That's Roddy McDowall. Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Rachel: You're welcome.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: [talking to Monica's hair] All right, let's see. Now, some of you are gonna get cut and some of you aren't. But I promise, none of you will feel a thing.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: How is she?
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Ross: How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey: Well, can we see her?
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good. I think it upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in?


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