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‘The One with the Donor’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Friends: The One with the Donor

922. The One with the Donor

Aired May 8, 2003

After learning that they probably won't be able to conceive naturally, Chandler invites an attractive colleague home so he and Monica can assess his potential as a sperm donor. Meanwhile, Rachel and Phoebe help Charlie shop for clothes, and Ross has an interview which could lead to him giving the key note speech at a paleontology conference in Barbados.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I still can't believe this. My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I've always tried so hard to be a good hostess.


Quote from Monica

Monica: I'm not going to be a part of this. You can't just bring some random guy home and expect him to be our sperm donor.
Chandler: Okay. [hands Zack a drink] Zack.
Zack: Thanks. Do you have a coaster? I don't want to make a ring.
Monica: Tell me about yourself, Zack.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I can't believe my sperm have low motility. Because let me tell you, while I was growing up, they sure seemed to be in a hurry to get places.

Quote from Chandler

Dr. Connelly: Even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great you never know, so keep having sex on a regular basis.
Chandler: Oh, damn it!
Monica: Don't worry. After a while, you'll tune it out.

Quote from Chandler

Dr. Connelly: Of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you could always adopt.
Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you, Dr. Connelly, but we don't think we want you to be our child. Wow. Talk about an inhospitable environment.

Quote from Joey

Ross: Hey, guys. Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference
Charlie: Chris Bailey?
Ross: Yeah, right. When was the last time he made a submission deadline for an abstract?
[Joey laughs with Ross and Charlie]
Ross: Why are you laughing?
Joey: Just seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist. It's fun.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Aside from adoption, the only other choice is insemination so we're talking about sperm donors.
Joey: Enough said. I'm there for you, man. Where is she, upstairs?

Quote from Joey

Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child, but there isn't one.
Joey: Come on, Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it.
Ross: What? [Joey whispers to Ross] What?! No! I'm not gonna give them Ben.

Quote from Phoebe

Sales Associate: Incentive for Men?
Phoebe: Ooh, I'll take some of that.
Rachel: Pheebs, that's for men.
Phoebe: Oh, I know. This way, when I go to the party later Mike will know I'm over him because I'm going to smell like another guy. Okay. Oh, good, I'm dating a Russian cabdriver. Seriously, does anyone buy this? I smell like beets.

Quote from Rachel

Charlie: So, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads in them. Where do you think those would be?
Rachel: Uh, on Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl".

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