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‘The One Where Ross Got High’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

Friends: The One Where Ross Got High

609. The One Where Ross Got High

Aired November 25, 1999

When Jack and Judy Geller visit for Thanksgiving, Ross is forced to reveal why his parents don't like Chandler. Meanwhile, Rachel attempts to make a dessert, Phoebe develops a crush on Jack, and Joey and Ross would rather be somewhere else.

Quote from Jack Geller

Judy Geller: Chandler, you've been Ross' best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems, and now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.
Chandler: Thank you.
Jack Geller: No. Thank you!

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Quote from Monica

Monica: That's it. You know what? You've had your chance. Mom, Dad. Ross smoked pot in college.
Jack Geller: What?
Judy Geller: What?
Ross: You are such a tattletale. Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Jack and Judy Geller: Yes. [They both look at Chandler]
Ross: I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. I'm sorry.
Judy Geller: It was you?
Monica: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys. Ross did.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing. Monica did.

Quote from Judy Geller

Judy Geller: That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds. All right. Joey, if you want to leave, just leave. Rachel, no, you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you're in an important relationship is beyond me.
Jack Geller: And we kind of figured about the porch swing.
Judy Geller: Ross. Drugs? Divorced again?

Quote from Chandler

Jack Geller: Monica and Ross, I don't know what I'm gonna do about the two of you.
Chandler: I'll talk to them.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: It'll be okay because when they come over, I will be all charming. I will make them love me and then we will tell them.
Monica: You really think that will that work?
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe. I won you over, didn't l?
Monica: I don't think you'll ever get my parents that drunk.

Quote from Joey

Ross: Beef in a dessert? There is- No, no, no. There is no way.
Joey: I know. And only one layer of jam? What is up with that?
Ross: Oh, my God. The pages are stuck together.
Joey: Chandler!

Quote from Ross

Ross: I think I might know why my parents don't like you.
Chandler: You do? Why?
Ross: Okay, remember we were young. Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it, and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Chandler: What? Why did you do that?
Ross: I don't know. Yours was the first name that popped into my head. I'm sorry. I didn't think it would matter.
Chandler: How could it not matter?
Ross: Well how was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college, let alone you'd be living with my sister?
Chandler: What about all that "friends forever" stuff?
Ross: I don't know. I was all high.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Dad, please don't pick your teeth out here. All right, and if you're gonna put your feet up-
Phoebe: Monica, leave him alone!

Quote from Ross

Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it- Does it not taste good? Let me try it.
Ross: Whoa. No, no, no, no. All gone. So good. Maybe Chandler has some left. [after Rachel has left] It tastes like feet.

Quote from Joey

Joey: I like it.
Ross: Are you kidding?
Joey: What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!

Quote from Monica

Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas. And got divorced. Again!

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I love Jacques Cousteau.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle.

Quote from Joey

Joey: I want to go!

Quote from Rachel

Phoebe: Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Rachel: Really?
Phoebe: I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong. And it's making me look at him totally differently. You know, I mean, he used to be just "Jack Geller, Monica and Ross's dad." Now he's "Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Rachel: I don't know. You know, to me, he'll always be "Jack Geller, walks in while you're changing."

Quote from Chandler

Monica: So guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
Chandler: Sidney Poitier? [laughs]
Monica: I miss Rachel.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Why wouldn't they be happy?
Monica: Well, because ... mainly, um ... they don't like you. I'm sorry.
Chandler: What? Why? Why?
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you're really sarcastic or that you joke around all the time, or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Chandler: Is this why they don't like me or you don't like me?

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