Monica: That's it. You know what? You've had your chance. Mom, Dad. Ross smoked pot in college.
Jack & Judy: What?
Ross: You are such a tattletale. Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Jack and Judy: Yes. [both look at Chandler]
Ross: I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. I'm sorry.
Judy Geller: It was you?
Monica: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys. Ross did.

Judy Geller: Chandler, you've been Ross' best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems, and now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.
Chandler: Thank you.
Jack Geller: No. Thank you!

Judy Geller: That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds. All right. Joey, if you want to leave, just leave. Rachel, no, you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you're in an important relationship is beyond me.
Jack Geller: And we kind of figured about the porch swing.
Judy Geller: Ross. Drugs? Divorced again?

Ross: Well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing. Monica did.

Chandler: It'll be okay because when they come over, I will be all charming. I will make them love me and then we will tell them.
Monica: You really think that will that work?
Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe. I won you over, didn't l?
Monica: I don't think you'll ever get my parents that drunk.

Ross: Beef in a dessert? There is- No, no, no. There is no way.
Joey: I know. And only one layer of jam? What is up with that?
Ross: Oh, my God. The pages are stuck together.
Joey: Chandler!

Joey: I like it.
Ross: Are you kidding?
Joey: What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good.

Ross: I think I might know why my parents don't like you.
Chandler: You do? Why?
Ross: Okay, remember we were young. Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it, and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Chandler: What? Why did you do that?
Ross: I don't know. Yours was the first name that popped into my head. I'm sorry. I didn't think it would matter.
Chandler: How could it not matter?
Ross: Well how was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college, let alone you'd be living with my sister?
Chandler: What about all that "friends forever" stuff?
Ross: I don't know. I was all high.

Monica: Dad, please don't pick your teeth out here. All right, and if you're gonna put your feet up-
Phoebe: Monica, leave him alone!

Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it- Does it not taste good? Let me try it.
Ross: Whoa. No, no, no, no. All gone. So good. Maybe Chandler has some left. [after Rachel has left] It tastes like feet.