Ross: Well, wait a minute. I mean, a couple of stupid boxes get wet, and she gets a Porsche?
Jack Geller: Why don't we take it for a spin?
Monica: All right.
Ross: What about me? I'm a medical marvel!

Earl: Okay, so no toner today. Thanks anyway. Bye-bye.
Phoebe: No, no, wait, wait! I can't just let you hang up. Just please talk to me.
Earl: Well, I only had one thing to do today. I guess I could push it back.
Phoebe: Yeah. Now, why do you want to kill yourself?
Earl: I've been working for 10 years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows that I exist.
Phoebe: Chandler?

Phoebe: All right. Earl, let's just forget about the people at the office, okay? There's gotta be someone else in your life that's worth sticking around for. What about your family or friends? Or maybe a girlfriend?
Earl: Yeah, right.
Phoebe: Oh, sorry. Boyfriend?
Earl: Okay, I should probably be getting back to my thing now. See you.
Phoebe: No. I'm not finished yet. Don't you dare hang up on me!
Supervisor: The new girl's good.

Rachel: Joey, it's just a chair. What's the big deal?
Joey: The big deal is it's the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and it's at the perfect angle where you don't get any glare coming off Stevie.
Rachel: Stevie the TV?
Joey: Is there a problem?

Ross: I can't believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some stranger's gonna be living in my room.
Monica: Well, after fifteen years of Mom and Dad keeping it as a shrine to you, it's time the velvet ropes came down.

Monica: I can't wait to see everything again. All the memories.
Jack Geller: Well, I don't know what's in the boxes down here. But I do know there are six or seven Easy-Bake Ovens in the attic.
Monica: I used to love to play restaurant.
Ross: Yeah, not as much as you loved to play "uncooked batter eater."
Monica: Hey, it is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies.

Jack Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross. Now, I'm sorry about everything that happened and I'll probably never be able to make it up to you, but here's a start.
Monica: What's this?
Jack Geller: It's the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Monica: What?
Ross: What?!
Jack Geller: I've been thinking of getting rid of it. And I was driving it the other day and I saw my reflection in a store window. Your mother's right, I do look like an ass.

Monica: Do you know what happened to Chandler's Barcalounger?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, Joey broke it and had to get rid of it.
Monica: Are you kidding? I get a Porsche and the Barcalounger's gone? This is the best day ever!

Ross: Dad, we can't believe you're selling the house.
Jack Geller: Well, it's time for a new family to start their memories here. And hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.

Rachel: What does he know? Come on, Rosita. Us chicas gotta stick together. [Rachel attempts to move the chair, it breaks in two] You bitch!