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The One with Phoebe's Rats

‘The One with Phoebe's Rats’

Season 9, Episode 12 -  Aired January 16, 2003

When Ross and Rachel hire an attractive nanny, they worry about Joey hitting on her. Meanwhile, Rachel is upset when Monica invites her co-worker Gavin to her birthday party, and Phoebe and Mike care for an orphaned family of rats.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: We had a deep, meaningful relationship.
Gavin: Huh. What was Tag's last name?
Rachel: It was- Oh, my God. He didn't- He didn't- He didn't have a last name. It was just Tag, you know, like Cher or, you know, Moses.
Gavin: But it was a deep, meaningful relationship.


Quote from Rachel

Rachel: But first, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleague and more importantly my wonderful friend, Gavin Mitchell.
Gavin: Pleased to meet you.
Monica: Pleased to meet you. So are you coming to Rachel's party?
Rachel: Oh, no, no, no, no. Gavin can't. He already has plans, most likely with his mother.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Where you going, Joe?
Joey: For a walk.
Chandler: You mind if I join you?
Joey: Actually, I'd rather be alone. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Chandler: Your thoughts? Plural?
Joey: All right, fine. I only have one thought. It's about the hot nanny. I gotta see her.

Quote from Monica

Rachel: Why did you invite him? I can't stand that guy.
Monica: You were being so nice to him.
Rachel: I was faking it. Can't you tell when I'm being fake? Hey, Mr. Phillips. Nice suit.
Monica: Right there. That was so fake.
Rachel: Ssh!

Quote from Monica

Rachel: Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up?
Monica: No way. You had your party. Now I have mine.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Where's Mon?
Chandler: Oh, she's at home putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight.
Joey: And you're not helping?
Chandler: I tried but apparently singing "I Will Survive" in a helium voice, not helping.

Quote from Joey

[Emma cries]
Ross: Somebody's getting a little fussy.
Joey: You're damn right I am. I've been waiting for a cookie for seven minutes.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Wow, Molly's just great.
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Yes, bravo on the hot nanny.
Ross: What? You really think she's hot?
Chandler: Are you kidding? If I wasn't married, she'd be rejecting me right now.
Rachel: Joey?
Joey: How do you think she's doing?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Hey, Mike, what's the capital of Peru?
Mike: Lima.
Phoebe: No. It starts with a V and ends with an X. And hopefully with a T-O in the middle.
Mike: You know, come to think of it, the capital of Peru is "Vtox."

Quote from Mike

Mike: You can't keep a rat in your apartment. They're extremely unsanitary. I mean, they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Phoebe: What are those?
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments.

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