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‘The One with the Joke’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Friends: The One with the Joke

612. The One with the Joke

Aired January 13, 2000

After Ross gets a joke printed in Playboy magazine, Chandler argues that he thought of the joke. Meanwhile, Joey reluctantly takes a job at Central Perk, and Phoebe offends Monica by saying would hypothetically choose to date Rachel over her.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Joey: No.
Guy: Waiter.
Joey: Yeah!

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Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, look, you guys are just terrific, you know? So how about clearing out so I can get some new customers? It's all about turnover.
Ross: Joey. Seriously, can I get my coffee?
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry, Ross. I'll get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, I'll toss in a free muffin.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: I have a question: If one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Ross: No way.
Joey: I'm not answering that.
Chandler: Joey. No way, I'm not answering that.

Quote from Monica

Ross: You're not gonna believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it.
Phoebe: I didn't know Playboy prints jokes.
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures.
Monica: That didn't work on Mom, it's not gonna work on us.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey, check it out. It's the first one, too.
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Ross: What?
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Ross: Um, oh oh, no, you didn't.
Chandler: Uh, uh, oh. Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work and he said it was the funniest he'd joke ever heard.
Ross: Hey, tell Dan thanks.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Seriously?
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Did your cable go out?
Joey: No. No, that's VH1 . I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today, it's a lot of noise to me.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Hey, I got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Rachel: I don't know.
Monica: Me neither.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: I don't know. Me neither.

Quote from Gunther

Gunther: Well, if you want, you can work here.
Joey: I don't know. It's just... See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know? And to go from that to this, it's just... And plus, I'd have to wait on all my friends.
Gunther: Okay. But the money's good. Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Joey: What?
Gunther: Flexible hours.

Quote from Monica

Monica: She picked Rachel. She tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Chandler: He took my joke. He just took it.
Monica: This is wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: Know who else picked Rachel? Ross. You know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what, I'm gonna get a joke journal, you know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Monica: Good idea. You know what's a bad idea?
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
Monica: That's right.

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