TV Quotes

Ross: Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
Monica: Oh, I know, I know. Hey, you know you could take it if you want. The lease is still in Nana's name.
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Monica: Yeah, it takes two incomes.

Rachel: Mon, okay, I've gotta just say what it is I'm gonna say. None of the amazing things that happened to me in the last ten years would have happened if it wasn't for you. No one has been more like a sister to me.
Monica: I know what you mean. You are like a sister to me too.

Rachel: I know, honey. Seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom. This is Emma's Paris stuff. These are boxes that I'm having shipped. And that's the sandwich I made for the plane.
Monica: Okay, so you've done some good work. What about your carry-ons?
Rachel: Oh, well, everything that I need is in here. And my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Monica: Oh my God. I have nothing left to teach you!

Monica: Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these on my pillow.
Chandler: Oh, yes, I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage in a little light bondage and mustache play!

Monica: But I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
Chandler: Really? Then what are they doing in our guest room?
Monica: Rachel used to live in that room.
Chandler: Rachel with handcuffs. Interesting.
Monica: Joey's bare ass.
Chandler: Well played.

Joey: Alright, let's play one more time, okay? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
Rachel: Okay. Can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on. Alright Joe, you remember the rules. Heads I win, tales you lose.
Joey: Just flip.
Rachel: Ah, tails.
Joey: Damn it!

Monica: Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.
Ross: Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys?
Monica: Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense.
Erica: Plus hotels are fun. My room has this little fridge full of free snacks.
Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact, they have one of the highest markups in any consumer product-
Monica: Ross, she's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.

Chandler: What the hell is this?
Joey: Hey. Handcuffs. And fur lined, nice. I didn't know you guys had it in you!
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.

Chandler: I didn't know Monica had these.
Joey: Mmm. Maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard.
Chandler: Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky. I once did a naked danced for her with scarves.
Ross: Bumming hard, guys. Bumming hard.

Ross: Hey, where's Rach?
Joey: Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second. Now it just hit her that she's leaving and she's kind of emotional, so no one say anything to set her off, okay?
Monica: Hey, Rach, hey you.
Ross: Here she is.
Rachel: [emotionally] Hi, you guys.
Joey: What did I just say?

Joey: You know, I had a chance to stop her too.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? You know, heads she wins, tails I lose. ... Wait a minute.
Chandler: Yes, Joe?
Joey: I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning.

Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
Phoebe: Okay, well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you "going away" presents, but I do have something for you.
Rachel: Oh, oh. What is it?
Phoebe: Well, it's cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it. So that if they perfect the cloning process while you're over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs.
Rachel: I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture.

Rachel: I love you, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I love you too. Please, please don't- Don't turn into, you know, French bitch!

Rachel: Monica?
Monica: Yeah?
Rachel: Can you come here with me for a minute?
Monica: Sure.
Phoebe: Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
Monica: No.
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed.

Ross: Hey, what's that all about?
Phoebe: She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh, my God.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you. Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not gonna be able to handle this. Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.

Ross: Oh, no, she took down Monica. And I'm the crier in the family.

Chandler: Well, if they are not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Rachel: Well, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room.
Chandler: Pheebs!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Chandler: I think these are yours.
Phoebe: These are not mine. Look how flimsy they are. Come on. Good God. You try to hang a guy from a water pipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.

Monica: How was your night?
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had- Ooh, hoo, ooh- Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
Monica: Oh, my God!
Chandler: Relax. We'll just get her some antacids.

Rachel: You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care?
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
Rachel: I cannot believe that after ten years, you do not know one thing about me.
Ross: Fine, then why didn't you say something?
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard, Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I am gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you everyday, it makes me not want to go. Okay. So if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye.
Ross: Rach!
Rachel: What?
Ross: You keep, you keep- You can't-
Rachel: What? [Ross kisses Rachel. Then she kisses him back]

Chandler: Hey, so we thought we'd throw you a little going away party around 7:00.
Rachel: Oh, that sounds good.
Monica: Hey Rach, you're leaving tomorrow. Shouldn't you be packing?
Rachel: It's all done.
Monica: Oh yeah, right. And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor. Oh, God. It hurts to even joke about it.