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‘The One with the Football’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Football

309. The One with the Football

Aired November 21, 1996

Things get heated on Thanksgiving when the group decide to play a game of football, bringing out Ross and Monica's competitive sides.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Hold on a second, Joe. Where do Dutch people come from?
Joey: [Joey stares blankly, looks to Ross] Well, the Pennsylvania Dutch come from Pennsylvania.
Chandler: And the other Dutch people? They come from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Joey: Nice try. The Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.

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Quote from Rachel

Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles.
Rachel: No, Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this. [puts a marshmallow up Monica's nose]
Monica: [blows it out] Every year.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I don't really want to play.
Joey: You never do anything since you and Janice broke up.
Chandler: Not true. I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don't say I don't have goals!

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: Ross?
Ross: What?
Rachel: Wanna play football?
Ross: Monica and I aren't supposed to play football.
Joey: Says who? Your mom?
Ross: Yes.
Monica: Yes. Well, every Thanksgiving, we used to have a touch football game called The Geller Bowl.
Chandler: No, no, no. You say that proudly.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Yeah? Then how come you didn't get the Geller Cup?
Rachel: There was a Geller Cup?
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said nobody won, and he was sick of our fighting. So he took the trophy [welling up] and threw it in the lake.
Chandler: And was the curse lifted?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Ooh, cool. This is my first huddle. So what do you guys really think of Chandler?

Quote from Joey

Margha: You are playing American football?
Joey: Wow. You're, like, from a whole other country.
Margha: I'm Dutch.
Joey: Hi, I'm Joey.
Margha: I am Margha.
Joey: Sorry, Dutch, I didn't get that last little bit.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler.
Margha: Hello, Chandler.
Joey: Her name is Dutch and also "Margham."

Quote from Chandler

Joey: What's the matter with you? This is my favorite jersey.
Chandler: Well, now you have two. Hey, I am good at math.

Quote from Chandler

Joey: That's it. I was still gonna let you have her. But now, prepare to feel bad about yourself.
Chandler: Yeah, well. I've been preparing for that my entire life. Or something about you that's mean.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: Because the winner gets this.
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two-by-four? Okay, good.

Quote from Chandler

Margha: Which do I like?
Ross: Yeah, for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill?
Margha: Well, if I had to choose right now, which, by the way, I find really weird. I would have to say Chandler.
Joey: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. She obviously didn't understand the question.
Chandler: Well, why don't you have Captain Hook explain it to her?

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: We're playing for women everywhere. Think about every lousy date you ever had. Every guy who kept one eye on the TV while you were making out.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. You dated someone with a glass eye too?

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Hey, don't feel bad. We all have our strengths. You're better with numbers and stuff.
Chandler: Math? You're giving me math?

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: We should definitely play football more often. Maybe there's, like, a league we could join.
Phoebe: Isn't there a "national football league"?
Chandler: Yes. Yes, there is. They play on Sundays and Monday nights.
Rachel: Oh, shoot. I work Monday nights.


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