Rachel: Phoebe, if this guy's going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Ross: Hey, divorced men are not bad men.
Chandler: They have that on the napkins at the club.

Phoebe: Hey, you guys, "Hums While He Pees" just asked me out.
Rachel: I thought that guy was married.
Phoebe: He is, but he's getting divorced. Ross, maybe you know him.

Rachel: That's great. So Joey must have really taught you some stuff.
Tag: A little. [to a woman] How you doin'?

Phoebe: Yeah, well, maybe she should have spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
Ross: Well, I don't think we are going to have that problem, but maybe that is because I am not emotionally unavailable.
Phoebe: You think he's emotionally unavailable?
Ross: I think he can be.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldn't be if she didn't bring the office home every night.
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Year's Eve 1997.
Ross: I knew you were going to throw that in my face! That was three years ago. She apologized and apologized. What more do you want?!
Phoebe: We want the last 6 years back!
Ross: So do we! So do we!

Melissa: Hey, isn't that Tag's backpack?
Rachel: Yeah, Melissa, I don't want to be known as the office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.

Chandler: Hey.
Monica: What's the matter?
Chandler: Someone on the subway licked my neck. Licked my neck!
Phoebe: Oh, Willy's still alive.

Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh, my mom called. They're going to run our engagement announcement in the local paper. So we're looking for a good picture of us.
Chandler: Ooh, I'm afraid that does not exist.
Monica: That's not true. There are great pictures of us.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you next to a guy who's going like this.
Phoebe: Oh, my God, that's the creep that you're with at the Statue of Liberty.
Chandler: I don't know what it is. I just can't take a good picture.
Monica: Oh, here's a great one.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not in that.
Monica: I know, but look at me all tan.

Rachel: Hey, look. Phoebe's talking to Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
Ross: Oh, you call him "Cute Coffeehouse Guy"? We call him "Hums While He Pees."
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross "Lingers in the Bathroom."

Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean, you know you can't date him, right?
Rachel: Oh, no. I know that. Although we make a joke that we spend so much time together, he should call me his "work-wife."
Ross: Soon he'll be able to call you "that lady he knew that got fired."

Rachel: I won't get fired, because I'm not gonna act on it.
Phoebe: So you wouldn't mind if he was dating someone?
Rachel: Why, is he? He is, isn't he? He's dating that slut in marketing.