TV Quotes

Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, so I'm in my map...

Emily: Then the florist said there are no tulips. And the cellist has carpal tunnel syndrome-
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Emily, honey. [time out gesture] Okay?
Emily: Well, up yours too.
Ross: What? No, no. That's "time out."

Monica: Guys, hurry up. The flight leaves in four hours. It could take time to get a taxi. There could be traffic. The plane could leave early. When we get to London, there could be a line at customs. Come on!
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica.

Phoebe: Rachel, you can't go. Ross loves Emily.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel. He deserves to have all the information then he can make an informed decision.
Phoebe: That's not why you're going. You're going because you hope he's going to say: "l love you too, Rach. Forget about the British chippie."
Rachel: You think he will?
Phoebe: No, because he's in love with the British chippie!

Monica: Passport, check. Camera, check. Traveler's checks, check.
Rachel: Who are you saying "check" to?
Monica: Myself. You know, for remembering to pack a thing. You do a good thing, you get a "check." My mom does it. I never realized it was weird.

Phoebe: Hey, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Actually, she only did it the one time. But it's pretty weird.

Joey: It's all London, baby. Here we go. [takes a Polaroid picture of Chandler]
Chandler: Got your passport?
Joey: Yeah, in the third drawer of my dresser. You don't want to lose that.
Chandler: [Chandler stares at Joey] ... There it is!

Joey: London, baby!
Chandler: Okay, because that's not going to get annoying.
Joey: London, baby!
Chandler: Oh, you know what? I was wrong.

Ross: Let's get going.
Phoebe: Oh, I want to go over and hug you and wish you luck on your wedding, but I can't get up.
Ross: Oh, I'll come hug you.
Phoebe: Great, yeah, can you bring me the newspaper?

Phoebe: Hey, Chandler, I want to hug you too. Oh, and great, you might as well bring me my book. It's on the counter in your apartment.

Joey: All right. First stop, Westminster Abbey.
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Joey: That's London, baby! All right, the hotel's here. Wait. No, we want to go. No. I know. I'm gonna have to go into the map.
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there, kill it.

Emily: Oh, my God! How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Ross: It's all right. Everything's gonna be all right.
Emily: How is it gonna be all right?
Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.
Monica: Okay. I talked to the guy with a shovel, and I found out what happened.
Ross: What? What?
Monica: They tore it down a few days early.

Joey: All right. Westminster Abbey. Hands down, best abbey I ever seen.

Joey: What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler: Oh, I think it's great. You know, they're thinking of changing the name of this place.
Joey: Really? To what?
Chandler: To "Put the Camera Away".
Joey: Man, you are Westminster Crabby.

Rachel: Phoebe, I'm not going to Ross's wedding, because he's my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. It's not because I'm still in love with him. I mean, hey, I like Ross as much as the next guy. Clearly, I have feelings for him, but feelings don't mean love. I mean, do I still have loving feelings for Ross? Yeah. I have continuing feelings of love. But that doesn't mean I'm still in love with him. You know, I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him.
[gasps] Oh, my God. Why didn't you tell me?

Phoebe: We thought you knew.
Rachel: We?
Phoebe: Yeah, we all know. We talk about it all the time.
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Phoebe: Oh, no. Ross doesn't know anything.
Rachel: Oh, I can not believe you didn't tell me.
Phoebe: Because we thought you knew. It's so obvious. God. It would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you know, you like things clean."

Vendor: He's just jealous. You'll fit right in. All Londoners wear them.
Chandler: Oh, really? Then how come no one here anywhere is wearing one?
Vendor: They're all tourists.
Joey: Yeah.

Ross: All I understand is postponing it is not an option. This is when we're getting married.
Emily: You're saying it's now or never?
Ross: I'm saying it's now.
Emily: Or?
Ross: There's no "or" in mine!

Phoebe: Okay, let's try some aversion therapy. All right, so, look at the picture.
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: And [Phoebe grabs the picture and slaps Rachel on the head] Okay, how do you feel now?
Rachel: Well, I like you less.

Ross: I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Monica: Yes, I did. And you are welcome.
Ross: Am l?

Ross: I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she, like, flipped out.
Monica: Oh, my God. You're even dumber than I am.

Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Ross: I don't know. A month?
Monica: Emily's probably been planning it since she was 5. Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That's what we did. We dreamed about the perfect wedding. [getting emotional] In the perfect place. With the perfect four-tiered wedding cake. With the little people on top. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross: I had no idea. That pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing The Flying Nun.
Monica: Sometimes we were.

Joey: I hope Ross didn't think we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here.
Chandler: I hope he did.

Phoebe: [on the phone] Oh, so you're not homesick yet?
Joey: No, I don't think so.
Phoebe: All right. Well, the seven of us miss you.
Joey: Who's seven?
Phoebe: Well, you know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies.
Joey: Aw, the babies miss me?
Phoebe: Ooh, pizza guy's here.
Joey: You ordered pizza without me?
Phoebe: Yeah, but you know, we were thinking about you. We ordered the Joey Special.
Joey: Two pizzas?

Phoebe: Look, Rachel, if you go you're just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding. You know, it's too late. You missed your chance. I'm sorry. This must be hard. But it's over.
Rachel: [sighs] You know what, no. It's not over until someone says, "l do."
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! I do! [groans] Yeah, like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter.