‘The One With Ross's Wedding (Part 1)’ Quotes

423. The One With Ross's Wedding (Part 1)
Aired May 7, 1998
After Rachel decides to stay in New York to look after Phoebe, the rest of group heads to London for Ross's wedding. As they take in the sights of London, Chandler grows irritated by Joey's enthusiasm. Meanwhile, Ross and Emily are shocked when the church they're getting married in is torn down early.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, so I'm in my map...
Quote from Ross
Emily: Then the florist said there are no tulips. And the cellist has carpal tunnel syndrome-
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Emily, honey. [time out gesture] Okay?
Emily: Well, up yours too.
Ross: What? No, no. That's "time out."
Quote from Monica
Monica: Guys, hurry up. The flight leaves in four hours. It could take time to get a taxi. There could be traffic. The plane could leave early. When we get to London, there could be a line at customs. Come on!
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Rachel, you can't go. Ross loves Emily.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel. He deserves to have all the information then he can make an informed decision.
Phoebe: That's not why you're going. You're going because you hope he's going to say: "l love you too, Rach. Forget about the British chippie."
Rachel: You think he will?
Phoebe: No, because he's in love with the British chippie!
Quote from Monica
Monica: Passport, check. Camera, check. Traveler's checks, check.
Rachel: Who are you saying "check" to?
Monica: Myself. You know, for remembering to pack a thing. You do a good thing, you get a "check." My mom does it. I never realized it was weird.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Actually, she only did it the one time. But it's pretty weird.
Quote from Joey
Joey: It's all London, baby. Here we go. [takes a Polaroid picture of Chandler]
Chandler: Got your passport?
Joey: Yeah, in the third drawer of my dresser. You don't want to lose that.
Chandler: [Chandler stares at Joey] ... There it is!
Quote from Chandler
Joey: London, baby!
Chandler: Okay, because that's not going to get annoying.
Joey: London, baby!
Chandler: Oh, you know what? I was wrong.
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: Let's get going.
Phoebe: Oh, I want to go over and hug you and wish you luck on your wedding, but I can't get up.
Ross: Oh, I'll come hug you.
Phoebe: Great, yeah, can you bring me the newspaper?
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey, Chandler, I want to hug you too. Oh, and great, you might as well bring me my book. It's on the counter in your apartment.
Quote from Joey
Joey: All right. First stop, Westminster Abbey.
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Joey: That's London, baby! All right, the hotel's here. Wait. No, we want to go. No. I know. I'm gonna have to go into the map.
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there, kill it.
Quote from Monica
Emily: Oh, my God! How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Ross: It's all right. Everything's gonna be all right.
Emily: How is it gonna be all right?
Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.
Monica: Okay. I talked to the guy with a shovel, and I found out what happened.
Ross: What? What?
Monica: They tore it down a few days early.
Quote from Joey
Joey: All right. Westminster Abbey. Hands down, best abbey I ever seen.
Quote from Joey
Joey: What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler: Oh, I think it's great. You know, they're thinking of changing the name of this place.
Joey: Really? To what?
Chandler: To "Put the Camera Away".
Joey: Man, you are Westminster Crabby.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Phoebe, I'm not going to Ross's wedding, because he's my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. It's not because I'm still in love with him. I mean, hey, I like Ross as much as the next guy. Clearly, I have feelings for him, but feelings don't mean love. I mean, do I still have loving feelings for Ross? Yeah. I have continuing feelings of love. But that doesn't mean I'm still in love with him. You know, I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him.
[gasps] Oh, my God. Why didn't you tell me?
Quote from Monica
Phoebe: We thought you knew.
Rachel: We?
Phoebe: Yeah, we all know. We talk about it all the time.
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Phoebe: Oh, no. Ross doesn't know anything.
Rachel: Oh, I can not believe you didn't tell me.
Phoebe: Because we thought you knew. It's so obvious. God. It would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you know, you like things clean."
Quote from Joey
Vendor: He's just jealous. You'll fit right in. All Londoners wear them.
Chandler: Oh, really? Then how come no one here anywhere is wearing one?
Vendor: They're all tourists.
Joey: Yeah.
Quote from Ross
Ross: All I understand is postponing it is not an option. This is when we're getting married.
Emily: You're saying it's now or never?
Ross: I'm saying it's now.
Emily: Or?
Ross: There's no "or" in mine!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Okay, let's try some aversion therapy. All right, so, look at the picture.
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: And [Phoebe grabs the picture and slaps Rachel on the head] Okay, how do you feel now?
Rachel: Well, I like you less.
Quote from Ross
Ross: I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Monica: Yes, I did. And you are welcome.
Ross: Am l?
Quote from Monica
Ross: I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she, like, flipped out.
Monica: Oh, my God. You're even dumber than I am.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Ross: I don't know. A month?
Monica: Emily's probably been planning it since she was 5. Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That's what we did. We dreamed about the perfect wedding. [getting emotional] In the perfect place. With the perfect four-tiered wedding cake. With the little people on top. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross: I had no idea. That pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing The Flying Nun.
Monica: Sometimes we were.
Quote from Joey
Joey: I hope Ross didn't think we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here.
Chandler: I hope he did.
Quote from Joey
Phoebe: [on the phone] Oh, so you're not homesick yet?
Joey: No, I don't think so.
Phoebe: All right. Well, the seven of us miss you.
Joey: Who's seven?
Phoebe: Well, you know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies.
Joey: Aw, the babies miss me?
Phoebe: Ooh, pizza guy's here.
Joey: You ordered pizza without me?
Phoebe: Yeah, but you know, we were thinking about you. We ordered the Joey Special.
Joey: Two pizzas?
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Look, Rachel, if you go you're just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding. You know, it's too late. You missed your chance. I'm sorry. This must be hard. But it's over.
Rachel: [sighs] You know what, no. It's not over until someone says, "l do."
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! I do! [groans] Yeah, like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter.