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‘The One with the Ride-Along’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Ride-Along

520. The One with the Ride-Along

Aired April 29, 1999

As Ross, Joey and Chandler go on a ride-along with Gary, Phoebe's cop boyfriend, a potentially dangerous situation makes Chandler think Joey prefers Ross over him. Meanwhile, when Rachel goes to Ross's apartment for margarita ingredients she overhears an emotional call from Emily, who is having second thoughts about her recent engagement.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey, Ross, it's you. I just want you to remember this feeling. You are lucky to be alive. So live every day to the fullest. Love yourself, okay? Okay. And also get stamps. Bye.

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Quote from Ross

Ross: So, where are we going next?
Gary: This witness won't return my calls. We'll surprise him coming home.
Chandler: Surprise him? We're not gonna make anybody mad, are we?
Joey: Come on, man. So you gonna squeeze the perp's shoes a bit before he lawyers up?
Gary: He's a witness, not a perp. And no one tawks like that.
Ross: Yeah. No one tawks like that.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: So you didn't choose Ross before me?
Joey: No. I would never do that. You're like my brother.
Chandler: Really?
Joey: Yeah. In fact, to prove how much you mean to me. [Joey unwraps the sandwich and hands it to Chandler] Here.
Chandler: Thanks.
Joey: Whoa, whoa. Easy, it's not a hot dog! How good is that?
Chandler: Oh, yeah.
Joey: See? [Chandler gets ready to take another bite] Whoa, Dude, what are you doing?
Chandler: I thought you're showing me how much I mean to you.
Joey: Yeah, with a bite. Jeez!

Quote from Ross

[Ross accidentally turns on the police cherry]
Gary: Hey, do you mind? We're undercover here.
Ross: Oh, yeah. No problem.
Gary: Ross!
Ross: Sorry. There. [Ross puts the cherry under his t-shirt] Hey, Gary. Who am l? Phone home.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I'm so glad you're home. I though tonight we can finally organize these photos.
Rachel: Oh, thank God. Finally.
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. We got holidays, birthdays, candids. And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right, so if you're looking up, say birthdays and dogs, you get photo 152. See?
Rachel: Oh, it's me and LePooh. Wow, I miss that dog.
Monica: You can also find him under "dog" and "dead."
Rachel: Great. Thanks.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: Monica, sorry I didn't come by yesterday. I was out with Gary. He let me ride around with him. We saw and prevented crimes.
Joey: You got to go on a ride-along?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: I want to go on a ride-along.
Ross: Me too.
Gary: Okay.
Chandler: Yeah. Me too.
Gary: Really? You?
Chandler: Yeah.
Gary: Well, it's kind of dangerous.
Chandler: Well, I like danger.
Gary: Okay, you guys free tonight?
Joey and Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Tonight? You didn't say it was gonna be at nighttime.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for you?
Gary: It's called a cherry.
Ross: It's called- Chandler!

Quote from Joey

Joey: I got it. This place makes the best sandwich in the world.
Gary: Hey, Joe, does it have meatballs on it?
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Gary: Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce?
Joey: Yep.
Gary: Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.
Joey: Yeah, okay. Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
Chandler: Your tax dollars?
Joey: Yeah, okay.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Wow, that sandwich really does smell good.
Joey: Did I say you could smell it?
Chandler: I can't smell your sandwich?
Joey: Half the taste is in the smell. You're sucking up all the taste units.
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. [exhales]

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Please don't be from a real dinosaur. Please, please. Please, please. "Made in Mexico." Yes! Ugh, who would buy this?

Quote from Monica

Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. I need some salt, some margarita mix and tequila.
Rachel: So all we had was ice?
Monica: See if he has ice.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
Joey: Yeah, what's up with that, Serpico?

Quote from Monica

Monica: I mean, she's obviously unstable. She's thinking about running out on her wedding day. [Rachel looks at Monica] Okay, fine.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Okay, fine. But look at the position she's putting him in. And what's he gonna do? Like Ross is going to run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage? I mean, who would do that? [Rachel looks at Monica] Okay, fine. All right. But that was different. Although it did involve a lot of the same people.

Quote from Chandler

Gary: But that reminds me. Sign this.
Ross: What is it?
Gary: It's nothing. It just says you can't sue the city if you scrape your knee or get your head blown off.
Chandler: Oh, hurry up. I want to sign that.

Quote from Rachel

[phone rings]
Rachel: Oh, maybe that's Emily calling back to leave the exact same message.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Wow, play that message for Emily, and this problem goes away.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Wow. I could have died tonight.
Chandler: Yeah, if the car that backfired had run over you.

Quote from Ross

Chandler: You know what, I'm gonna go home, before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life.
Ross: I do have a newfound respect for life.
Chandler: Oh, my God!

Quote from Joey

Joey: Cut it out, Ross. I'd hate to have to save your life and kick your ass on the same day.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: You dove in front of Ross. Ross.
Joey: That's what this is about. Oh, my God. You hate Ross.
Chandler: I don't hate Ross.
Joey: Of course you do. I saved him. You're mad at me. It all adds up. You want Ross out of the picture.
Chandler: What picture?
Joey: I don't know. But I don't like what I'm hearing.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: What it comes down to is you'd risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Joey: No, not exactly. All right, look. I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was trying to save my sandwich.
Chandler: From a bullet?
Joey: I know it doesn't make much sense.
Chandler: "Much" sense?

Quote from Joey

Joey: Look, Chandler, it was instinct. Okay. I just went for it.
Chandler: So you risked your life for a sandwich?
Joey: I know it sounds crazy but, Chandler, this is the greatest sandwich in the world.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Rach, what are you doing here?
Rachel: Hey, you know what? You are in our apartment all the time. Okay. This is just a drop in the bucket, mister.

Quote from Ross

Ross: The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near-death experience.
Rachel: What? What happened?
Ross: Okay, oaky. We were on the ride-along with Gary, right, and somebody took a shot at me!
Rachel: Whoa. Really?
Ross: No. A car backfired. But I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And, Rach I survived. And I was filled with this great respect for life. I want to experience every moment.
I want to seize every opportunity. I am seeing everything so clearly now.
Rachel: Because a car backfired?
Ross: Okay, why are you here?

Quote from Ross

Rachel: Okay? I was right. Your decision.
Ross: Right. I guess I should call Emily.
Rachel: Okay, no. No, that's not the right decision. That's not right. Ross, come on. I mean that woman made you miserable. Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Ross: Okay, look. Yesterday I wouldn't have even considered calling her back. But my ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near-death experience? That's gotta mean something.
Rachel: Ross, that was not a near-death experience. That was barely an experience.
Ross: You weren't there!

Quote from Ross

Ross: Maybe this is something that I'm supposed to seize, you know?
Rachel: Okay. You know what? Maybe this is not about seizing stuff. Maybe this is about escaping stuff.
Ross: Huh.
Rachel: Okay? Look at today. I mean, you escaped ... death. You know, and maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily.
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do want to seize some opportunity but I really don't want to see or talk to her.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Wait, wait. The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
Rachel: Oh.
Answering Machine: Hey, Ross, it's you-
Ross: That's an old message. Nobody needs to hear that.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: Hey, was Monica here?
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: I want my money back.
Rachel: You probably need that for stamps, right?

Quote from Chandler

Ross: I wonder how I'd react under fire. And not backfire but heavy fire. Like, if I was in a war or something.
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war. I mean, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean, I know I would make general before any of you guys.
Chandler: Before or after you were shot by your own troops?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: You all know I'm a pacifist, so I'm not interested in war in any way. But, you know what, when the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. Not you, Joey.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Maybe I could call his machine and re-create the message. All right, okay. Um... [in a British accent] Hello, Ross, this is Rachel- Emily! [stops] God, what is it with those two names?

Quote from Joey

Chandler: I'm very glad you saved Ross when the car backfired, but it could've been a bullet.
And, you know, you didn't try to save me.
Joey: Oh. You're upset because you think I chose Ross over you. No, I knew you could take care of yourself. You know? I mean, Ross needs help. He's not "street" like us.


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