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‘The One with the Cop’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Friends: The One with the Cop

516. The One with the Cop

Aired February 25, 1999

After Phoebe finds a police badge at Central Perk, she enjoys fighting crime until the owner of the badge comes looking for her. Meanwhile, Ross struggles to get a new couch to his apartment after refusing to pay for delivery, and Joey is worried after he has a romantic dream about Monica.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Here we go. All right. Ready? Turn! Turn! Turn!
Chandler: I don't think we can turn any more!
Rachel: Ross, I just don't think it's going to fit.
Ross: Yeah, it will. Come on. Up, up, up! Up! Yes. Here we go. Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

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Quote from Ross

Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
Saleswoman: You wanna return this couch? It's cut in half.
Ross: That's what I'm telling you.
Saleswoman: Did you cut this couch in half?
Ross: This couch is cut in half. I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half.
Saleswoman: You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?
Ross: Look, I'm a reasonable man. I will accept store credit.
Saleswoman: I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars.
Ross: I will take it.

Quote from Ross

Ross: I still don't know. I'm sorry, I just want to make sure I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says "Kids welcome here," but that also says "Come here to me."
Rachel: What? You say that to kids?
Ross: No, no, no. The "Come here to me" is, you know, for the ladies.
Rachel: Ross, honey, it's a nice couch, it's not a magic couch.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: Hey, Ross. I brought reinforcements.
Ross: Oh, great. You brought Joey?
Rachel: Well, I brought the next best thing.
Ross: Chandler? You brought Chandler? The next best thing would be Monica!
Chandler: You know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: Wait, look it. Whoa. Oh, my God. This is a police badge.
Chandler: Oh, that's so cool. But why would a cop come in here? They don't serve doughnuts. You know what, actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Yeah, I should take it back. But, you know what, while I'm at the police station I can check their 10 Most Wanted List. Because my friend Fritzie's been number 11 forever, so this could be her year.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Is that my sweatshirt?
Monica: Yes, it is. I'm sorry. I was cold. I hope it's okay.
Joey: It's just that if you're wearing someone else's sweatshirt, shouldn't it be your boyfriend's? And I'm not him.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'll give it back.
Joey: But then it's gonna be all smelling like Monica.
Monica: Are you saying I smell bad?
Joey: No, you smell like a meadow. I'm sorry.

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: What's with him?
Chandler: Oh, you know, the last time Joey went to a meadow his mother was shot by a hunter.

Quote from Ross

Ross: The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch.
Rachel: Wait, no, that's ridiculous. He lives three blocks away.
Ross: Yeah, you know what? I'll take it myself. Thank you.

Quote from Ross

Salesman: You two are really going to enjoy that couch.
Ross: Oh, yeah. We're, uh, not together.
Salesman: Oh, okay. Something didn't quite add up there.
Ross: What's that supposed to mean?
Rachel: Ross.
Salesman: Well, you. Her. I mean, she's very ... you know. And you're, like ... you know?
Ross: Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
Salesman: Really? You two?
Ross: Yeah, Rach?
Rachel: Come on, I really don't want to be doing this right now. I'm carrying a heavy couch.
Ross: Then tell him quickly.
Rachel: Fine. We went out.
Ross: Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times!
Rachel: Ross! Oh, my God. Uh, you kept count? You are such a loser!
Ross: A loser you did it with 298 times!

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