Phoebe: You got it?
Joey: Well, not yet, but the audition went really good.
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: It's this big-budget period movie about three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. It's really classy. And the director, he's supposed to be the next-next Martin Scorsese.
Phoebe: The "next-next"?
Joey: Yeah, there's this guy from Chicago that's supposed to be the next Martin Scorsese. But then this guy's right after him.

Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey, it's Estelle. I just talked to the casting people. They loved you.
Joey: They loved me.
Estelle: Yeah, they want to see you again tomorrow.
Joey: My God.
Estelle: There's just one thing. Do you have a problem with full-frontal nudity?
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it. Oh.

Phoebe: What's the matter?
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie.
Monica: Wow.
Joey: I know. My grandmother's gonna see this.
Phoebe: Grandma's gonna have to get in line.

Phoebe: When can we have this shower?
Rachel: She has so much going on, we have only two options. We have Friday.
Phoebe: Well, that's just two days away. What is the other option?
Rachel: Yesterday.
Phoebe: Well, if we make it yesterday, whoo-hoo, we're done!

Rachel: There's too much to do. It's too much. We can't do it. We cannot do it!
Phoebe: Calm down!
Rachel: Okay. I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Just calm down, woman!
Rachel: Phoebe, I already did.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. All right, then I need to calm down.

Rachel: I think we can do this if we just get organized. We have two days to plan this party. We need to make fast decisions. Okay, where are we going to have it?
Phoebe: Here. What time?
Rachel: 4:00. Food?
Phoebe: Finger sandwiches and tea.
Rachel: Ooh, great! Very Monica.
Phoebe: And chili.
Rachel: Ah, you went one too far. Flowers or balloons?
Phoebe: Both.
Rachel: We're paying for this, you know.
Phoebe: Neither.
Rachel: What should we do for the theme?
Phoebe: Lusts of the Flesh.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: I don't know. Cowboy theme?

Ross: By the way, what does Cassie look like now?
Monica: She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn.
Chandler: So this Aunt Marilyn, is she coming to the wedding?
Monica: Wafer-thin ice.

Casting Director: And your agent said you're okay with the nudity.
Joey: Yeah, sure. Just as long as it's handled tastefully. And that barn is not too cold.

Casting Director: So, the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. You know what I'm saying?
Joey: Yes! No. What?
Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be...
Joey: Bar mitzvah-ed?

Monica: So to get this part, you can't be-
Joey: No.
Monica: But you are?
Joey: Yes.
Monica: But you told them you weren't?
Joey: That's right.
Monica: Wow. Wow. And it's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with? What were you thinking?
Joey: I don't know. I just really want this part. And they tell you no matter what you get asked during an audition, you say yes. Like if they want you to ride a horse, you tell them you can and you just figure out how to do it later.