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‘The One with Ross and Monica's Cousin’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Friends: The One with Ross and Monica's Cousin

719. The One with Ross and Monica's Cousin

Aired April 19, 2001

Ross develops questionable feelings for his cousin, Cassie, when she comes to stay with him. Meanwhile, Rachel and Phoebe throw Monica an impromptu bridal shower, and Joey auditions for a role which requires him to show a lot of skin.

Quote from Joey

Phoebe: You got it?
Joey: Well, not yet, but the audition went really good.
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: It's this big-budget period movie about three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. It's really classy. And the director, he's supposed to be the next-next Martin Scorsese.
Phoebe: The "next-next"?
Joey: Yeah, there's this guy from Chicago that's supposed to be the next Martin Scorsese. But then this guy's right after him.

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Quote from Joey

Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey, it's Estelle. I just talked to the casting people. They loved you.
Joey: They loved me.
Estelle: Yeah, they want to see you again tomorrow.
Joey: My God.
Estelle: There's just one thing. Do you have a problem with full-frontal nudity?
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it. Oh.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: What's the matter?
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie.
Monica: Wow.
Joey: I know. My grandmother's gonna see this.
Phoebe: Grandma's gonna have to get in line.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: When can we have this shower?
Rachel: She has so much going on, we have only two options. We have Friday.
Phoebe: Well, that's just two days away. What is the other option?
Rachel: Yesterday.
Phoebe: Well, if we make it yesterday, whoo-hoo, we're done!

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: There's too much to do. It's too much. We can't do it. We cannot do it!
Phoebe: Calm down!
Rachel: Okay. I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Just calm down, woman!
Rachel: Phoebe, I already did.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. All right, then I need to calm down.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: I think we can do this if we just get organized. We have two days to plan this party. We need to make fast decisions. Okay, where are we going to have it?
Phoebe: Here. What time?
Rachel: 4:00. Food?
Phoebe: Finger sandwiches and tea.
Rachel: Ooh, great! Very Monica.
Phoebe: And chili.
Rachel: Ah, you went one too far. Flowers or balloons?
Phoebe: Both.
Rachel: We're paying for this, you know.
Phoebe: Neither.
Rachel: What should we do for the theme?
Phoebe: Lusts of the Flesh.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: I don't know. Cowboy theme?

Quote from Chandler

Ross: By the way, what does Cassie look like now?
Monica: She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn.
Chandler: So this Aunt Marilyn, is she coming to the wedding?
Monica: Wafer-thin ice.

Quote from Joey

Casting Director: And your agent said you're okay with the nudity.
Joey: Yeah, sure. Just as long as it's handled tastefully. And that barn is not too cold.

Quote from Joey

Casting Director: So, the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. You know what I'm saying?
Joey: Yes! No. What?
Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be...
Joey: Bar mitzvah-ed?

Quote from Joey

Monica: So to get this part, you can't be-
Joey: No.
Monica: But you are?
Joey: Yes.
Monica: But you told them you weren't?
Joey: That's right.
Monica: Wow. Wow. And it's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with? What were you thinking?
Joey: I don't know. I just really want this part. And they tell you no matter what you get asked during an audition, you say yes. Like if they want you to ride a horse, you tell them you can and you just figure out how to do it later.

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