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‘The One with the Stain’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Friends: The One with the Stain

807. The One with the Stain

Aired November 8, 2001

When Rachel decides to move out of Joey's apartment, Ross tries to secure her the apartment of an ailing Dutch lady in his building. Meanwhile, Chandler hires a cleaner for the apartment, and things get uncomfortable when Phoebe tries to date her sister's ex-fiance.

Quote from Gunther

Ross: Thanks for the coffee, or, uh, ahem, Bedankt voor de koffie, Gunther.
Gunther: Jij spreekt Nederlands? Dat is te gek. Heb je familie daar?
Ross: Yeah, we're done.
Gunther: Ezel.

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Quote from Gunther

Ross: Ezel. Hey, Gunther, you're an ezel. Huh.
Gunther: Jij hebt seks met ezels.
Ross: Damn it.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hi. How is she?
Mrs. Verhoeven: It's not looking good.
Ross: Oh! Oh, oh. Well, I brought her some "bloemen."
Mrs. Verhoeven: That's so sweet. Would you like to come in and say goodbye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her.
Ross: Oh, I don't know that it would.
Mrs. Verhoeven: Well, her memory is pretty much gone.
Ross: All right, then.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I'm apartment hunting.
Ross: You're moving?
Rachel: Yeah, well, I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doin'?"

Quote from Ross

Ross: I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away, and I am so sorry for your loss.
Mrs. Verhoeven: She didn't pass away.
Ross: What?
Mrs. Verhoeven: My mother's still alive.
Ross: Oh, thank God. It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but she's a tough old bird. Are you close with her?
Ross: Of course. Yeah, she and I would talk all the time in the laundry room.
Mrs. Verhoeven: You speak Dutch? [speaking in Dutch]
Ross: You know, I would, but it's just too painful.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Because her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I don't care because you got the apartment. Yes!
Rachel: Oh, yeah. I think I'm gonna stay here.
Joey: Isn't that great?
Ross: [stammering] Ezels!

Quote from Monica

Chandler: I got a maid. Yay.
Monica: Well, I hope by "maid" you mean "mistress," because if some other woman was here cleaning then-
Chandler: Honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control.
Monica: Oh, "Relinquish" is just a fancy word for "lose."

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Look, she is really nice, and she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
Monica: Did she really say that?
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember because I thought it was a joke. Now, just give her a chance, okay?
Monica: Fine, I can do it.
Chandler: What's the matter?
Monica: Well, usually when I'm this anxious, I clean.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Oh, my God, I'm going out with Eric. Oh, this day is gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh, Ross, I can't make lunch.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Hey, if you're looking for a place, I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Rachel: Oh, my God. Was she old? Does she have a view?

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