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‘The One with All the Rugby’ Quotes

Friends: The One with All the Rugby

415. The One with All the Rugby

Aired February 26, 1998

Ross tries to show Emily he can be a tough guy by playing rugby. Meanwhile, Monica obsesses over a switch in the apartment that doesn't appear to do anything, while Chandler tries desperately to extricate himself from a relationship with Janice.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Janice. There you are. I had to have one last kiss. And also, you said you were going to leave after I got on the plane.
Janice: No. I want to see you take off.
Chandler: Well, then I guess I'm going to Yemen. I'm going to Yemen. [to an elderly woman in line] When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?

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Quote from Chandler

Airport Announcement: This is the final boarding call for flight 664 to Yemen.
Chandler: Well, I guess I gotta go.
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. I'll wait for you. Do you even know how long you're going to be gone?
Chandler: Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel.
Janice: Oh. Well, I'll write you every day. 15, Yemen Road, Yemen.
Chandler: Okay. Goodbye.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: So, everybody ready? Here we go. I hear something. I hear something. Where is it?
Rachel: It's coming from Joey.
Phoebe: Oh, my God! That's so freaky. Turn him off.

Quote from Chandler

Janice: Face it, honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Chandler: I hear you. But unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas.
Janice: Oh, no. Where to? To Paris?
Chandler: No, not Paris.
Janice: Ooh, to London? Rome? Vienna? Ooh, ooh, Barcelona?
Chandler: Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? Yemen. [Janice gasps] That's right. Yes. I'm being transferred to Yemen.
Janice: When?
Chandler: I don't know exactly.
Janice: Well, I will just have to soak up every ounce of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.
Chandler: But I do know it's sometime tomorrow.

Quote from Janice

Rachel: What am I sitting on? I'd hate to think what was this woman scratching when this broke off?
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Janice: Oh, my God!

Quote from Joey

Chandler: I'm only pretend-moving to Yemen. It's the only way I could get rid of her.
Joey: Oh. Good one. And Yemen, that actually sounds like a real country.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Why are you doing this, anyway?
Ross: You should've seen the guy she used to date. He was like "Joe Rugby".
Phoebe: You're kidding. And he plays rugby? That's funny. Oh, I see. You did that. All right.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Hi, I need a fake ticket to Yemen.
Ticket Counter Attendant: One ticket to Yemen?
Chandler: Oh, no. No, no, no. I just need a pretend ticket.
Ticket Counter Attendant: I'm sorry, sir. I don't understand.
Chandler: Okay, what would you give a kid to play with?
Ticket Counter Attendant: Are you traveling with a child?
Chandler: No. Oh. You know what, she's going to think I'm handing you a credit card. But what I'm really going to do is hand you a library card.
Ticket Counter Attendant: Sir, a ticket to Yemen is $2100, and we don't take library cards.
Janice: What's the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Chandler: American Express?

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You know, you really didn't have to take me to the airport.
Janice: Oh, please. Every moment is precious. Besides, someone had to ride with your luggage.
And besides, your friends don't seem to care very much that you're leaving.
Chandler: Well, we're not really that close.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I can't believe I'm getting my nails done. You said it was going to be fun. Which it kind of is. Also, you said there were going to be guys here. There are no other guys here.
Rachel: Chandler, there a guy right over there.
Chandler: That's a mailman. That's our mailman. Hi, how are you?

Quote from Monica

Monica: Joey, let me ask you a question. This has been driving me crazy. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Nothing.
Monica: Didn't it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Joey: I know what it did. Nothing.
Monica: They wouldn't have put it there if it didn't do something. How can you not care?
Joey: Like this. [shrugs shoulders]

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Here's another question for you. Do you know what that little silver knob on the toilet does?
Joey: Sure, it flushes it.
Rachel: Okay, good. Now, since you know, when you come over, would you mind actually using it?

Quote from Janice

Monica: How have you been?
Janice: Well, I'm divorced.
Phoebe: Oh, wow.
Janice: Yeah, I'm riding the alimony pony. [laughs]
Joey: And there it is.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I can't stand the woman.
Phoebe: What? I thought you were crazy about her.
Chandler: Yeah, I know. But you know all those annoying little things she did before we fell in love? You know, like her voice, and her laugh and her personality? Well they're all back. And she's picked up, like, nine new ones!

Quote from Joey

Joey: So, what are you doing bringing her here? There's people here.

Quote from Ross

Ross: So, what, were you guys playing playing soccer? Or should I call it [in a British accent] "football"?

Quote from Ross

Emily: Ross play rugby? I don't think so.
Ross: What's so funny about that?
Emily:Well, you're American, to start with. You don't really have rugby here.
Ross: Well, we didn't have freedom here until 1776 either, so...

Quote from Janice

Janice: Look at us. Who would've thought Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails? [laughs]

Quote from Monica

Joey: What's up?
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them don't work, which means one has to be controlled by the switch. So I plugged things in all four outlets that make noise. That way, when I turn it on, I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Joey: Bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: You know, you also could have used lamps and followed the light.
Monica: Yeah, well, I'm using noise.

Quote from Joey

Ross: I'm watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I don't know what the big deal is. I'm man enough to play this sport.
Joey: Dude, you're not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You know, you really didn't have to help me pack.
Janice: When you said all you'd be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you really didn't leave me much choice, did you?
Chandler: Well, I thought I did, but I guess I did not.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, what's going on?
Chandler: Oh, I'm packing. You know, I'm packing because I'm moving to Yemen tomorrow.
Joey: Thanks for telling me.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Right here, it's called a "scrum." It's kind of like a huddle.
Ross: And is a hum kind of like a scruddle?
Joey: Ross, they're going kill you.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: She thought the very idea of me playing rugby was hilarious. So I'm going to show her how tough I really am.
Rachel: [laughs] I'm sorry. You are a tough guy. You are the toughest paleontologist I know.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Come on. Ross can take care of himself. It's not like he's Chandler.
Chandler: Thanks.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: I'll just look energetic and stay away from the ball. I'll be that guy, right outside the circle.
All: Oh!
Rachel: Well, maybe there was a dog looking at him.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Ross, you want to stay away from that guy. And that one. And that one. And that one. Dude, they're all huge.
Ross: They don't look any bigger than me.
Joey: Well, maybe that's because you're closer to you, so you look bigger to you from where you are.

Quote from Ross

Ross: I know what to do. I've got to go Red Ross. You know, Red Ross?
Joey: Totally don't know what you're talking about.
Ross: Come on. That time we were waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in front of us and I just lost it? Screamed at him, turned all red. Red Ross!

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: You are not going to believe it. Joshua came in today, and guess what happened?
Monica: He asked you out?
Rachel: No. But I was showing him some cuff links, and I felt his pulse.
Monica: Saucy.

Quote from Joey

Ross: No, I'm not stopping. I'm Red Ross!
Joey: Dude, you go back out there, you're going to be Dead Ross.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: What are these?
Monica: Just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought they'd brighten up the place. They do, don't you think? [Rachel starts pulling pictures off the wall] No, no, no. I know there's no hole there, I just really like that picture.
Rachel: Oh, my God. Look at this.
Monica: But there is a wire back there. That switch is connected to something.
Rachel: I don't care. The wires have come loose in your head!

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: All right. The super couldn't figure out what it did. The $200-an-hour electrician couldn't figure out what it did. I've had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
Rachel: Thank God.
Monica: I guess Joey was right. It does nothing.
[In the other apartment, Phoebe and Joey are watching TV. It turns on and off]
Phoebe: See? I'm doing it. I am totally doing it. I lost it.


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