Monica: So you didn't leave the bank?
Ross: And somehow we ended up with a joint checking account.
Rachel: What are you ever going to use that for?
Chandler: To pay for the gym.

Joey: This guy's so stupid. It's Count Rushmore!
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show.

Earl: Okay, so no toner today. Thanks anyway. Bye-bye.
Phoebe: No, no, wait, wait! I can't just let you hang up. Just please talk to me.
Earl: Well, I only had one thing to do today. I guess I could push it back.
Phoebe: Yeah. Now, why do you want to kill yourself?
Earl: I've been working for 10 years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows that I exist.
Phoebe: Chandler?

Monica: Passport, check. Camera, check. Traveler's checks, check.
Rachel: Who are you saying "check" to?
Monica: Myself. You know, for remembering to pack a thing. You do a good thing, you get a "check." My mom does it. I never realized it was weird.

Rachel: We tell each other everything. Guys do the same thing. I mean, what about all that locker-room stuff?
Ross: That's different. That's like, who dated a stripper? Or who did it on the back of the Staten lsland ferry?
Rachel: Both of those Joey?
Ross: Yeah.

Mr. Treeger: Hey, Duck. Is Chick here?
Chandler: Yeah, Bunny Rabbit.

Ross: I think I'm going to go wander out in the rain for a while.
Rachel: It's not raining.
Ross: I can't catch a break!