Monica Geller Quotes Page 1 of 54    

Quote from The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel

Monica: This isn't something that we just impulsively decided to do in Vegas. This is something that we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Rachel: It is? Really?
Monica: Yeah, sweetie.
Rachel: You mean, we're not gonna live together anymore?
Monica: No.
Rachel: Oh, my God. I'm gonna miss you so much.
Monica: I'm gonna miss you.
Rachel: I mean, it's the end of an era!
Monica: I know!

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Quote from The One with Phoebe's Uterus

Monica: All right. You could start out with a little one. A two. A one, two, three. A three.
A five. A four. A three, two. Two.
A two, four, six. Two, four, six.
Four. Two. Two.
Four, seven! Five, seven! Six, seven!
Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven!
[holds up seven fingers and mouths "Seven"]

Quote from The One Where Ross Got High

Monica: That's it. You know what? You've had your chance. Mom, Dad. Ross smoked pot in college.
Jack & Judy: What?
Ross: You are such a tattletale. Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Jack and Judy Geller: Yes. [They both look at Chandler]
Ross: I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. I'm sorry.
Judy Geller: It was you?
Monica: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys. Ross did.

Quote from The One Where the Stripper Cries

Chandler: Seriously, where did this happen?
Ross: Okay. After you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in people's coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead but it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but it was amazing. And now- Now, I find out that you kissed her first.
Chandler: Wait, what bed did you say she was on?
Ross: Mine.
Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed?
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Monica: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ross: No! No! No!
Monica: Yes!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Monica: I was the pile of coats!

Quote from The Last One (Part One)

Chandler: How do you feel?
Erica: I'm tired.
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?
Doctor: The next baby should be along in a minute.
Monica: We only ordered one!

Quote from The One with Joey's Porsche

Joey: I figured if people keep seeing me just standing there, they're gonna start to think I don't own it. So I figure I'll wash it, right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh, yeah. I got soap and sponges and rags and carnauba wax and polishing compound.
Chandler: You don't even have a car.
Monica: I know. But one time there was this really dirty car parked in front of the building, so I washed it.
Chandler: And?
Monica: And six others.
Chandler: There you are.

Quote from The One with Rachel's Book

Monica: Sweetie, this is the most special day of our lives.
Chandler: I realize that, honey, but I'm not going to spend all the money on one party.
Monica: Honey, I love you. But if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited.

Quote from The One with the Embyros

Ross: "Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?"
Monica: Maurice.
Ross: "His profession was?"
Rachel: Space cowboy!
Ross: "What is Chandler Bing's job?" [silence]
Rachel: Oh, gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
Monica: And processing.
Rachel: He carries a briefcase.
Ross: Ten seconds. You need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh, oh! He's a transpon- transponster.
Monica: That's not even a word! *beep*
Monica & Rachel: Noooooooo!

Quote from The One with the Pediatrician

Rachel: I wonder why Ross said that he died?
Monica: Oh. Maybe he was getting him confused him with his childhood therapist.
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
Monica: Uh-huh. He used to have this recurring nightmare. It really freaked him out.
Rachel: Wow, what was it?
Monica: That I was going to eat him.

Quote from The One with the Proposal (Part 2)

Monica: Chandler, in all my life, I never thought I would be so lucky, as to fall in love with my best- My best- There's a reason why girls don't do this!

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