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The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs

‘The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs’

Season 7, Episode 8 -  Aired November 23, 2000

After Phoebe sneaks a dog into the apartment, Chandler admits he doesn't like dogs. Meanwhile, Rachel invites Tag to join them for Thanksgiving, and Ross obsesses over a game where you must name all fifty U.S. states.

Quote from Joey

Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A "moo" point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

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Quote from Joey

Chandler: So Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in vegetables. Joey?
Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
Ross: Wow, how many you got?
Joey: 56.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: [answers phone] Hi, Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, who's this?
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch.
Chandler: Tell her I'm allergic, and I will sue!
Phoebe: No, there's no dog here.
Monica: Yes, there is! He's black and white and shaggy, and he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
Phoebe: Oh, my God! Where are you?
Monica: I'll be right there. [knock at the door]
Phoebe: They're here already? How are they doing this?!

Quote from Ross

Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you. Never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not liking ice cream.
Phoebe: You don't like ice cream?
Ross: It's too cold!

Quote from Ross

Ross: Done with time to spare.
Chandler: Ooh, this may be a new world's record.
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys but it's kind of disgraceful that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. You ever see a map or one of those round colorful things called a globe?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: We have good news. Look who's back.
Chandler: Klunkers. Oh, my God.
Monica: That's right. She came back all by herself.
Phoebe: It's a Thanksgiving miracle.
Chandler: It is so good to see you.
Phoebe: Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross's building. Oh, the things she must've seen. And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny paw, and then we ran to let her in- I went too far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?

Quote from Monica

Ross: Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving.
Chandler: No, no, no.
Ross: What? Are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
Chandler: No, we are playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Ross: What? That's like insanely easy.
Chandler: No, it's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one. Or in some cases, fourteen.
Monica: It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing with people, so technically, I didn't lose.
Ross: You forgot 14 states?
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas!

Quote from Chandler

Monica: I wish he could stay, but Chandler's allergic.
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I am anywhere near a dog for more than five minutes my throat will just close up.
Phoebe: That's odd. Because this dog's been living here for the past three days.
Chandler: [hoarse] Really?
Monica: Chandler, if the dog has been here that long and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog.
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Monica and Phoebe: Why?
Chandler: Okay, it's-
Joey: Don't do it!
Monica: Don't do what?
Chandler: I have to. Okay? It's time. Okay, I hate dogs.
Rachel: What?!
Phoebe: That's crazy? Why?
Joey: Told you.
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking and that scares me a little bit.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states.
Ross: What? That's impossible.
Joey: Forty-six. Well, who's well-educated now, Mr. I-Forgot-Ten-States?

Quote from Phoebe

Chandler: Okay, time's up.
Rachel: All right, I got 48.
Chandler: That's not bad. Pheebs?
Phoebe: Oh, I got tired of naming states, so I decided to list the types of celery. And I have one, regular celery.

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