Rachel: Why'd we rush out so fast?
Joey: Rach, we had to get out of there because- Look what I won.
Rachel: Oh, my God. You stole her award.
Joey: No, no, no. I'm accepting it on her behalf.
Rachel: Joey, I don't think you know what "behalf" means.
Joey: Sure I do. It's a verb. As in "I be half-in' it"!

Monica: Besides, you know what? I'm going to have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid.
Chandler: Water. Water. Water.

Joey: Hey, you guys, you're not going to believe this. I just got off the phone with my agent-
Phoebe: Oh, my God! I'm sorry. Too soon. You go.
Joey: I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives.
Phoebe: Joey, good for you.
Monica: Congratulations. I can't believe you're nominated for an Emmy.
Joey: No, no.
Monica: oh, oh. Soap Opera Digest Award?
Joey: No. I'm up for a "Soapie."
Monica: Honey, is that something you're making up?
Joey: No, no, no, it's real. And it has been, since 1998.

Joey: Hey, Rach, Rach. I'm up for a Soapie.
Rachel: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is.
Joey: Thank you. Well, I guess now we know who I'll be taking to the awards.
Rachel: Don't kid about that. Will all the stars be there?
Joey: Many are scheduled to appear.
Rachel: Oh, my God. I can't go. I'll be too nervous.
Monica: I'll go.
Rachel: No, you're getting married. This is all I have.

Ross: What happened there, Ned?
Ned: Well, maybe you can cut me some slack. I'm sort of in love.
Ross: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.
Ned: I'm in love with you.
Ross: Well, that brings me in the loop a little.
Ned: See, that's why I did so bad on this test. I'm having a hard time concentrating. When you're up there and you're teaching and your face gets all serious .
You look so good. And when you wear that tight little turtleneck sweater-
Ross: Okay, I'm your teacher. I'm sorry. You're a student. And I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of these chairs.

Jake: Hi.
Monica: Can I just tell you something? I'm very flattered, but I'm engaged.
Jake: Wow. This is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
Monica: Well, you should be embarrassed.
Jake: I thought you knew I was looking at you.
Phoebe: I did, but that was really fun.

Joey: "The winner is Joey Tribbiani!" "I honestly never expected this. I didn't prepare a speech, but I'd like to thank my parents, who've always been there for me. I'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel"-
Rachel: I'm fourth? Look at you with your little maple syrup award.
Joey: Maybe you don't tell anyone about this?
Rachel: What? It's no big deal. I do that too with my shampoo bottle.
Joey: Really?
Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: What award are you practicing for?
Rachel: Grammy. Best New Artist.

Joey: You don't think I'll win?
Rachel: Of course I do. But Favorite Returning Character? That's a tough category. I mean, you're up against the guy who survived his own cremation.

Rachel: You'll probably get it. But you should probably start practicing your "gracious-loser" face. You know, when like the cameras are on you and you want to look disappointed, but also that your colleague deserved to win. You know? So it's sort of like...
Joey: Hey. You practice losing the Grammys too?
Rachel: Oh, no, at the Grammys, I always win.

Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
Ross: No. There's this kid in my class who said he's in love with me.
Joey: Whoa!
Rachel: Whoa, what?
Joey: Ross has a boyfriend.
Ross: I do not have a boyfriend. There's a guy in one of my classes who has a crush on me.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, last year it was Elizabeth and now this kid. What is it? Am I giving out some kind of a sexy-professor vibe?
Rachel: Not right now.