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‘The One with Joey's Award’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Joey's Award

718. The One with Joey's Award

Aired March 29, 2001

Joey is nominated for a "Soapie" award and invites Rachel to join him at the ceremony. Meanwhile, one of Ross's male students claims to be in love with him.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Why'd we rush out so fast?
Joey: Rach, we had to get out of there because- Look what I won.
Rachel: Oh, my God. You stole her award.
Joey: No, no, no. I'm accepting it on her behalf.
Rachel: Joey, I don't think you know what "behalf" means.
Joey: Sure I do. It's a verb. As in "I be half-in' it"!

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Quote from Chandler

Monica: Besides, you know what? I'm going to have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid.
Chandler: Water. Water. Water.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, you guys, you're not going to believe this. I just got off the phone with my agent-
Phoebe: Oh, my God! I'm sorry. Too soon. You go.
Joey: I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives.
Phoebe: Joey, good for you.
Monica: Congratulations. I can't believe you're nominated for an Emmy.
Joey: No, no.
Monica: oh, oh. Soap Opera Digest Award?
Joey: No. I'm up for a "Soapie."
Monica: Honey, is that something you're making up?
Joey: No, no, no, it's real. And it has been, since 1998.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, Rach, Rach. I'm up for a Soapie.
Rachel: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is.
Joey: Thank you. Well, I guess now we know who I'll be taking to the awards.
Rachel: Don't kid about that. Will all the stars be there?
Joey: Many are scheduled to appear.
Rachel: Oh, my God. I can't go. I'll be too nervous.
Monica: I'll go.
Rachel: No, you're getting married. This is all I have.

Quote from Ross

Ross: What happened there, Ned?
Ned: Well, maybe you can cut me some slack. I'm sort of in love.
Ross: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.
Ned: I'm in love with you.
Ross: Well, that brings me in the loop a little.
Ned: See, that's why I did so bad on this test. I'm having a hard time concentrating. When you're up there and you're teaching and your face gets all serious .
You look so good. And when you wear that tight little turtleneck sweater-
Ross: Okay, I'm your teacher. I'm sorry. You're a student. And I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of these chairs.

Quote from Phoebe

Jake: Hi.
Monica: Can I just tell you something? I'm very flattered, but I'm engaged.
Jake: Wow. This is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
Monica: Well, you should be embarrassed.
Jake: I thought you knew I was looking at you.
Phoebe: I did, but that was really fun.

Quote from Rachel

Joey: "The winner is Joey Tribbiani!" "I honestly never expected this. I didn't prepare a speech, but I'd like to thank my parents, who've always been there for me. I'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel"-
Rachel: I'm fourth? Look at you with your little maple syrup award.
Joey: Maybe you don't tell anyone about this?
Rachel: What? It's no big deal. I do that too with my shampoo bottle.
Joey: Really?
Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: What award are you practicing for?
Rachel: Grammy. Best New Artist.

Quote from Rachel

Joey: You don't think I'll win?
Rachel: Of course I do. But Favorite Returning Character? That's a tough category. I mean, you're up against the guy who survived his own cremation.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: You'll probably get it. But you should probably start practicing your "gracious-loser" face. You know, when like the cameras are on you and you want to look disappointed, but also that your colleague deserved to win. You know? So it's sort of like...
Joey: Hey. You practice losing the Grammys too?
Rachel: Oh, no, at the Grammys, I always win.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
Ross: No. There's this kid in my class who said he's in love with me.
Joey: Whoa!
Rachel: Whoa, what?
Joey: Ross has a boyfriend.
Ross: I do not have a boyfriend. There's a guy in one of my classes who has a crush on me.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, last year it was Elizabeth and now this kid. What is it? Am I giving out some kind of a sexy-professor vibe?
Rachel: Not right now.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: The point is, my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.
Rachel: Aw, now I feel bad for the kid. See, I had a crush on a teacher once, and it was so hard.
I couldn't concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean, come, you remember what it's like to be 19 and in love.
Ross: I guess I can cut him some slack.
Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: How'd you get over that teacher?
Rachel: I didn't. I got under him.
Joey: Problem solved.

Quote from Joey

Joey: And the winner is: Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. Unfortunately, Jessica couldn't be with us tonight so I'll accept this award on her behalf. And I'm sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents, who always believed in me. She'd also like to thank my friends: Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe and Rachel, who's sitting right there.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Joey, do you really want an award you didn't win?
Joey: No, I want an award I did win. But nobody's given me any of those. Plus, if I put it up, when people come over, they'll see it and think I won it.
Rachel: Joey, it says "Best Supporting Actress."
Joey: I can scratch that right off.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: I'm going to have to talk to him about all this.
Phoebe: No, that is the last thing you want to do.
Monica: Why?
Phoebe: Because you're marrying him.
Monica: You gotta help me out here, Pheebs.
Phoebe: All right, I've never been engaged and I've never really been married. But I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship do not communicate them to your husband.
Monica: So I'm not supposed to share my doubts and fears with the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with?
Phoebe: That is correct. Yes. You're supposed to take all that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Monica: Your mother told you this?
Phoebe: Yes.
Monica: The woman who married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Phoebe: Oh, my God, you're right. All right, go. Go tell Chandler. Hurry, before it's too late! Wait. Does this also mean that putting out doesn't get you love?

Quote from Joey

Joey: Listen, here's your Soapie. I accepted it for you.
Jessica Ashley: Oh, my God. I won? Do you have any idea what this means? [Jessica dumps the award on the couch]
Joey: That's it? You're not gonna put it on your shelf or anything?
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now if you'll excuse me.
Joey: Take it back?
Rachel: Absolutely. [Rachel picks up a vase of flowers]
Joey: Yeah you do.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Mr. Morse? Can I speak to you for a moment?
Mr. Morse: That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little haircut?
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Do you like it? Do you love it? I just want you to know that I'm changing your grade back.
Mr. Morse: What? Why?
Ross: Because I know what you're trying to pull here. Okay, it's not going to work.
Mr. Morse: I'm not trying to pull anything. Look, I love you, dude.
Ross: You know what, I'm not even gonna talk about this. This little "thing" is over. I know you have a girlfriend. Okay, yeah. And I know about the other professors. How do you think that makes me feel, Ned? You used me! You don't love me and you never did! Professor Winston.
Professor Frederickson. I'll be right with you. [to Ned] Don't make this worse and I'll give you a "C." Shall we?

Quote from Chandler

Monica: But you're a guy. Aren't you freaked out that you'll never sleep with anybody else?
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody, no. Anxiety, panic and, I'm afraid, even more sweating.
Monica: Even with me?
Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship.

Quote from Monica

Waitress: A woman had two bites of her steak. Want me to wrap it up for your dog?
Monica: Oh, yeah.
Waitress: What's your dog's name again?
Monica: Joey.


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