Leonard Green Quotes Page 1 of 2

Quote from The One with the Two Parties

Monica: Dr. Green. Oh, my God. It's Rachel's dad. Why are you here?
Dr. Green: What, the father can't stop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Monica: No, no, the father can. But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here. And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So bye-bye.
Dr. Green: Oh, you're having a party.
Monica: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. This is Phoebe, Chandler and Joey.
Dr. Green: I'll never remember all that. So what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it?
Chandler: This isn't your first surprise party, is it, sir?

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Quote from The One Where Joey Speaks French

Dr. Green: What are you doing here, Geller?
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second. So what's new?
Dr. Green: Oh, I had a little heart attack.
Ross: Right. Is it painful?
Dr. Green: What? The heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Ross: Let's see if we can get that Rachel back in here.
Dr. Green: So what's new with you, Geller? Knocked up any more of my daughters lately?
Ross: Nope. Just the one. Rach!

Quote from The One with the Two Parties

Ross: Hi, Dr. Green. So how's everything in the vascular surgery game?
Dr. Green: It's not a game, Ross. A woman died on my table today.
Ross: I'm sorry. See, that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.

Quote from The One with the Race Car Bed

Dr. Green: You know what's really good here? The lobster. What do you say, shall I just order three?
Ross: Yeah. If you're really hungry. It was a joke. I made a joke.
Rachel: Actually, Daddy, Ross is allergic to lobster.
Dr. Green: What kind of person's allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works in a library.
Ross: It's not-
Dr. Green: I know. It's a museum! You're the only who can make a joke? At least mine was funny. Waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. [gestures apologetically]

Quote from The One with the Race Car Bed

Ross: So, Dr. Green, how's the old boat?
Dr. Green: They found rust. Do you know what rust does to a boat?
Ross: Gives it a nice antique-y look?
Dr. Green: Rust is boat cancer, Ross.
Ross: Wow, I'm sorry. When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that.

Quote from The One with the Stripper

Dr. Green: So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is new with you.
Rachel: Well ... Um ... I got TiVo.
Dr. Green: What's TiVo?
Phoebe: It's slang for "pregnant."
Rachel: Phoebe!
Dr. Green: Are you really pregnant?
Rachel: Well, yes and no. Except, not no. So to sum it up, yeah.
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh, no, please don't tell me it's her.
Rachel: No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross. Oh, Daddy, I hope you're okay with all this. I mean, this is a good thing. Think about it, this is your first grandchild! You're gonna be a poppy.
Dr. Green: That's true. I'm a poppy. I'm gonna be a poppy! So when is the wedding?
Rachel: The who?
Dr. Green: The wedding. There's going to be a wedding. Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard! Rachel Karen Green, tell me there's gonna be a wedding!
Rachel: February 2nd.

Quote from The One with the Stripper

Waiter: Your '74 Lafite, sir.
Dr. Green: '74? I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine. The '74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage? Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldn't wait on you tonight.
Dr. Green: Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby.

Quote from The One with the Two Parties

Mrs. Green: Hi, Monica. [Monica slams the door]
Monica: The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.
Chandler: So basically, just a Chinese guy.
Joey: Hey, Dr. Green, come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.
Dr. Green: All right. That sounds like a two-person job.

Quote from The One with the Race Car Bed

Rachel: Hi, Daddy.
Dr. Green: This is where they put us? What? There was no table in the kitchen?

Quote from The One with the Race Car Bed

Rachel: You remember Ross.
Ross: Nice to see you again, Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: So, how's the library?
Ross: Uh, museum.
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Ross: There never was a library. I mean, there are libraries. It's just that I've never worked at one.

Quote from The One with the Race Car Bed

Dr. Green: What is this? Who put a 20 down here?
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me. I have a problem. I tip way too much. Way too much. It's a sickness, really.
Rachel: Yeah, it is. We really, really have to do something about that.
Dr. Green: Excuse me. You think I'm cheap?
Rachel: No, Daddy, he didn't mean anything by that. He really didn't.
Ross: Nothing I do means anything. Really.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay $200 for dinner. You put down $20 and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here. I'll tell you what. You pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot. All right?
Ross: [to Rachel ]Well, "Mr. Big Shot" is better than "Wet-Head."

Quote from The One with the Race Car Bed

Rachel: Hi, Daddy.
Dr. Green: Baby.
Ross: Dr. Green, how are you?
Dr. Green: Thanks for dinner last night.
Ross: Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.
Dr. Green: Nice hair. What did you do, swim here?

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