‘The One Without the Ski Trip’ Quotes

317. The One Without the Ski Trip
Aired March 6, 1997
As Ross and Rachel struggle to be in the same room as each other, their friends are forced to split their time between them. Rachel decides to take her friends away for a ski weekend.
Quote from Ross
Carol: Phoebe, hang on a second. Take my car. Get your friends.
Ross: No, I won't pick them up.
Carol: Listen, we both know you'll do it, because you're not a jerk. Okay. So you can either sulk here for half an hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Ross: Rachel doesn't want me-
Carol: I'm sorry Rachel dumped you for Mark and you're the innocent victim in all of this. But don't punish your friends for what Rachel did.
Ross: Yeah, you're right.
Carol: Phoebe, hang on. Ross wants to say something. What? You slept with someone else?
Ross: We were on a break!
Quote from Joey
Joey: Okay, done!
Monica: What's "pleh"?
Joey: That's "help" spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air.
Monica: Ha. What's "dufus" spelled backwards?
Quote from Rachel
Ross: You're welcome.
Rachel: I'm sorry. Were you speaking to me, or sleeping with someone else?
Ross: We were on a break!
Rachel: You know, Ross, why don't you just put that on your answering machine?
Quote from Joey
Joey: Can I see the comics?
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Joey: Okay, may I see the comics?
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: Come on. They can be in the same room.
Joey: You should've been there last night.
Phoebe: Why, what happened last night?
Joey: Ross was hanging out at our place. Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturizer from Chandler-
Chandler: Hey, how hard is it to say "something"? Rachel came over to borrow "something."
Quote from Phoebe
Joey: Anyway, her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? He's the one who slept with someone else.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened she should've forgiven him by now.
Phoebe: Oh, he is so unreasonable. God. Although I think understand what he means. Oh, my God. This is like 60 Minutes ... okay, you know, when at first you're really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug. And then, you just feel bad for the people, because they needed to make their hair grow.
Quote from Monica
Chandler: Maybe it's gonna be okay. I mean, it's been a week.
Joey: Yeah, it's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship.
Monica: It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Let's go. Let's hit the road. Let's get the show on it.
Rachel: Okay, just let me get coffee.
Monica: Oh, I know the best coffeehouse and it's so close.
Rachel: Closer than here?
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: "Uh, Rachel, I'm really sorry." "Okay, Ross. Wanna get back together?" "Yeah, okay." Did anyone else hear that?
Quote from Joey
Joey: Rach, it's not that we don't want to. Really. Are we talking models in their underwear?
Rachel: And heels.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: You're smoking again?
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday, I was smoking again. Today I'm smoking, still.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Great. With my luck, that's him.
Phoebe: Him? Ross?
Chandler: No, "Hymn" 253: "His Eyes Are on the Sparrow." When my parents got divorced is when I started using humor as a defense mechanism.
Quote from Monica
Monica: So if your parents hadn't gotten divorced you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
Quote from Rachel
Phoebe: Okay, Monica's are the biggest.
Monica: These tiny little non-breasts? Please. It's gotta be Rachel.
Rachel: No, mine are deceptively small. I mean, I actually sometimes stuff my bra.
Monica: Well, then, your bra would still be big.
Rachel: No, I stuff outside the bra.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: So the "going for help" went well?
Joey: Oh, yeah. Smokey Joe here got halfway to the highway and collapsed.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a 2-year-old.
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Chandler: Well, it's very unsettling.
Quote from Ross
Carol: You slept with another woman?
Ross: Oh, you're one to talk.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Oh, please? Can't I come to your special, magical cabin?
Rachel: Why would you even want to come, Ross? You're a horrible skier.
Ross: Oh, oh. Hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills!
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: I can handle it. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, it's the middle part of my first name.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: I was being Shelley Winters from The Poseidon Adventure.
Ross: I know.