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‘The One with Rachel's Big Kiss’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Rachel's Big Kiss

720. The One with Rachel's Big Kiss

Aired April 26, 2001

Rachel runs into a former sorority sister with whom she claims to have once had a passionate kiss. Meanwhile, Chandler goes shopping for a tuxedo to wear to his wedding.

Quote from Phoebe

Melissa: Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority?
Phoebe: Of course. Yes. I was a Thigh Mega Tampon.
Melissa: What one?
Phoebe: Yeah, we were really huge. But then they had to shut us down when Regina Phalange died of alcohol poisoning.

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Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: It just seems pretty wild. And you're so vanilla.
Rachel: Vanilla? I'm not vanilla. I do lots of crazy things. I mean, I got drunk and married in Vegas.
Phoebe: To Ross.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Hey, out of all of us, who do you think's going to get married next?
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: That was my friend, Melissa, from college.
Ross: She seems really, really fun!
Rachel: She's actually very sweet, and we used to be very close.
Monica: Wait a minute. She's not the one who you?
Joey: Who you what? Who you what?
Rachel: Yes.
Monica: Wow!
Joey: Wow, what? Who you what?
Rachel: Oh, it's not a big deal.
Monica: They were lovers.
Joey: What?
Ross: What?
Rachel: No, we weren't. It was nothing. It was one night, senior year, and we went to a party had a lot of sangria, and you know, ended up kissing for a bit.
Ross: So that's two of my wives.

Quote from Monica

Joey: So where are my parents gonna be?
Monica: Well, if this is the wedding hall then your parents would be over here at home in Queens.

Quote from Joey

Joey: They're not invited? Oh, no, they're gonna be crushed.
Monica: Why would they think they're invited?
Joey: Uh, you got me. I don't...
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Look, I thought parents were coming. Your parents are coming. Chandler's are coming. Ross's parents are coming.
Monica: Ross's parents are my parents.
Joey: Well, see, parents are coming.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: We custom make tuxedos for celebrities and when they are done with them, they just send them back.
Chandler: You mean like for award shows?
Rachel: Some of them.
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling "Who are you wearing? You look fabulous!"
Rachel: Honey, might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan.
Chandler: Pierce Brosnan?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Chandler: Are you serious? 007? This is James Bond's tux? Oh, I have to get married in James Bond's tux.
Rachel: It's a pretty cool tux.
Chandler: It's not just that. I would be England's most powerful weapon. A jet-setting heartbreaker on Her Majesty's secret service. A man who fears no one, with a license to kill. Would Monica let me wear this?

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: You can't wear that. I'm wearing the famous tux. If you wear that, it'll make mine less special.
Ross: You need something to to make it special? You have the most special thing of all. You are marrying the woman you love.
Chandler: Don't take away my cool thing. Pretty please?
Ross: "Pretty please?" Not very 007.
Chandler: Look, it's my wedding day. If you were getting married, I would never do anything to upset you.
Ross: When I got married, you slept with my sister.
Chandler: That was pretty 007.

Quote from Joey

Monica: What am I gonna say?
Joey: Just tell them there was mix up with the invitations. No, blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish. But I don't think you could blame it on them.

Quote from Monica

Monica: This is Monica Geller. I'm just calling to say that I really hope you can make the wedding. Apparently some of our invitations weren't delivered. I guess there was some screw-up at the damn post office. Tell me about it! Yeah, the U.S. Post Office? No. More like U.S. Lost Office. What are they, Irish?

Quote from Monica

Joey: But it's going to start late? I mean, weddings start a little late, right?
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Remember, we were on the sleeping porch? We couldn't stop giggling and our coconuts kept knocking together.
Phoebe: Somewhere Joey's head is exploding.

Quote from Monica

Ross: Why don't we put them on? You know, get a picture of Batman and James Bond, together.
Chandler: I would, but my pants are a little tight.
Monica: A little tight? I could see 00 and 7 in those things.

Quote from Rachel

Chandler: All right, I found one that fits.
Rachel: Well, you know what they say? Twenty-third time's a charm. Aw. Look at you, all handsome.
Chandler: Whose is it?
Rachel: Oh, does it matter? All that matters is that you look so handsome.
Chandler: Whose is it?
Rachel: I don't want to say.
Chandler: Come on, I don't care. Come on, whose is it?
Rachel: Diane Keaton.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Well, the wedding is the same day as my niece's christening and I want my parents to see me. I mean, my part's in the beginning. I'm not in the rest of the show- Wedding.
Monica: The wedding starts at 6.
Joey: Okay. Okay. I totally hear you. Oh, how about this? I vamp till they get there.
Monica: You'll "vamp"?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Like warm up the crowd. I'll ask where they're from. Because in Joey Tribbianni, you get a minister and an entertainer. I'm a "ministainer." There's no one better. There's no one greater.


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