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‘The One Where Eddie Moves In’ Quotes

Friends: The One Where Eddie Moves In

217. The One Where Eddie Moves In

Aired February 22, 1996

Now that Joey has moved out of the apartment, Chandler is lonely and decides to get a new roommate. Meanwhile, Monica is uncomfortable with how much time Ross is spending in her apartment, while Phoebe is discovered by a record producer who wants to make a video for "Smelly Cat".

Quote from Monica

Monica: Your boyfriend has been in there for an hour. It's like I'm living with him again.
He's here when I go to sleep and wake up and when I want to shower. I feel like I'm 16 again.
Rachel: Well, you're not 16. You're both adults now.
Monica: Get out, you doofus.

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Quote from Joey

Monica: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
Joey: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have, like, time alone with my thoughts. But, you know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you think.

Quote from Phoebe

Record Producer: From the top.
Phoebe: playing guitar and singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? - Okay, sorry. I'm just not getting that everyone gets how smelly this cat actually is. Maybe if we could talk about this because I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
Record Producer: Honey, we can talk about this. It's just that this is costing like $100 a minute to be in here.
Phoebe: So the cat stinks, but you love it. Let's go.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Monica keeps changing the channel.
Monica: Oh, that's great. Why don't you tell Mommy on me?
Rachel: Now I'm Mommy in this little play? Look, I refuse to get sucked into this, like, weird little Geller dimension thing, okay? So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you? Everybody. Smelly cat, smelly cat, It's not your fault. Monica.
Monica: They won't take you to the vet.
Phoebe: Chandler.
Chandler: ... You're obviously not their favorite pet.
Phoebe: Joey.
Joey: You may not be a bed of roses.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Rachel: And you're no friend to those with noses.
Phoebe: Ross, those are the only lines we have. Sorry. Okay, back to the chorus.

Quote from Phoebe

Record Producer: Okay, Phoebe. You ready to try one?
Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you?
Backing Singers: Smelly, smelly, smelly, Really bad smelling smelly cat-
Phoebe: Whoa. Oh, my God. I mean, like, who was that?
Record Producer: They're your backup singers. Behind you, hon.
Phoebe: Oh, I thought they were just watching me. Like at an aquarium, you know?

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: Oh, my God. You won't believe this. I have just been discovered.
Chandler: Wait a minute. I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Hey, nice pillow. So tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Hey, excellent water, table thing.
Joey: Thanks. I love this. But you know what? It makes me want to pee.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, me too. I think that's the challenge.

Quote from Monica

Phoebe: So why don't you show us the rest of your casa?
Joey: Oh, the best part. Come on.
Rachel: Hey, nice toilet.
Joey: No, no, no. Behind it.
Ross: You have a phone in here?
Joey: That's right. I have a phone. In here.
Monica: Joey, promise me something. Never call me from that phone.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Anyway, don't freak out and say how great this is until I'm done. I just met this producer of this teeny record company who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of "Smelly Cat".
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe-
Phoebe: Okay, I told you not to do that yet. And she wants to do a video.
[The group gasps and cheers]
Phoebe: I'm not done yet, okay? God. If that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
[silence]
Phoebe: I'm done now.

Quote from Ross

Rachel: Okay, Ross, if you care about me at all, you have got to get the pie out of the man's hood.
Ross: Get the what?
Rachel: There's a pie in the hood. Pie in the hood. Go.
Guy: What are you doing?
Ross: I'm sorry. My pie was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats away a non-existent fly]

Quote from Chandler

Joey: Was that the oven timer?
Chandler: That's right, my friend. It's time for-
Joey: Baywatch. Can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
Chandler: I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.
Joey: You're just saying that because you love Yasmine Bleeth.
Chandler: How could anyone not love Yasmine Bleeth?
Joey: Hey, they're running.
Chandler: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time running. Run. Run. Run, Yasmine. Run like the wind.

Quote from Ross

Ross: [on the phone] No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. Look at the cranial ridge, okay? If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones.

Quote from Monica

Ross: Call Joanna.
Monica: Did she leave a number?
Ross: Did you see me write one down?
Monica: I don't have her number, butt-munch.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Tony, can I call you back? That's my sister's boyfriend.
Monica: Give me that. [on the phone] Sweetie, before I forget, did l leave my diaphragm at your place? Hi, Mom. [Monica starts throwing oranges at Ross]

Quote from Chandler

Joey: So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
Eddie: At the supermarket in the ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.
Joey: Wow.
Chandler: We got to talking. He needed a place, and I had a spare room.
Joey: Oh. Now it's a spare room?
Chandler: Well, yeah. In that it's not being used and I have it to spare.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Check it out. Check it out. It's "Smelly Cat," the video. Now, okay, I haven't seen it yet, so if you don't like it- Well, so what? None of you ever made a video.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Oh, my God.
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: I sound amazing. I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head.
Oh, this is so cool. Now I can hear what you hear.
Rachel: Pretty different, huh?
Phoebe: I am sorry, but I'm incredibly talented!

Quote from Joey

Joey: All right, that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Johnny New Eggs with his moving the mail and his "See you, pals." And now there's no juice. There's no juice for the people who need the juice. I need the juice.
Chandler: There's another carton there.
Joey: This isn't about juice anymore, all right, man?

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: All right. So what's it about?
Joey: Eggs. Whose eggs do you like better, his or mine?
Chandler: Well, I like both eggs equally.
Joey: Oh, come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which one you like better.
Chandler: Oh, what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore. You took your eggs and you left. Did you really expect me to never find new eggs?

Quote from Monica

Monica: Oh, my God, Ross, it's- You're just- Since you've been here, you're driving me-
Ross: Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, all right?

Quote from Monica

Monica: I just can't stand you being here all the time.
Ross: Why? Why can't you stand me being here? We're just having fun.
Monica: Fun? You think this is fun?
Ross: I thought we were fooling around, like when we were kids.
Monica: I hated you when we were kids.
Ross: You hated me when we were kids?
Monica: Yes, I hated you. I loved you in a you're-my-brother-so-l-have-to way but basically, I hated your guts.
Ross: Why did you hate me?
Monica: Because you were mean to me and you teased me and you always got your way.
Ross: And that wasn't fun for you?
Monica: Nuh-huh.
Ross: I can't believe you hated me.
Monica: But now I love you. And not just because I have to.
Ross: Really?
Monica: You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
Ross: I can do that.
Monica: Then I won't have to kill you.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Listen, you are not going to believe this but that is not me singing on the video.
All: No.
Phoebe: Yes.
Rachel: Well, how did you find out?
Phoebe: Okay, the record company sent this paper for me to sign saying it's okay for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Monica: So what are you gonna do?
Phoebe: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
Monica: Sure.
Phoebe: I mean, this poor woman.
Ross: What woman?
Phoebe: The voice woman. I mean she has a great voice, but she doesn't have a video.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, but what about you?
Phoebe: Well, I have a video. You have to pay attention. This voice woman, she's so talented.
But according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have the right look or something. She's like one of those animals at the pound who, like, nobody wants because they're not pretty enough. Or you know, like some old dog who's kind of like stinky and- Oh, my God. She's "smelly cat". Oh, that song has so many levels.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Doesn't matter. Time for Baywatch.
Eddie: You like that show?
Chandler: You don't like that show?
Eddie: No, I mean, it's just a bunch of pretty people running around on the beach.
Chandler: Well, that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people. And the running.


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