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‘The One with Ross's Library Book’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Ross's Library Book

707. The One with Ross's Library Book

Aired November 16, 2000

Ross is pleased that his dissertation is in the school library, until he finds out it's in an area of the library where people go to make out. Meanwhile, Rachel and Phoebe try get Joey to consider a longer-term relationship with a woman he hooked up with, and Janice invites herself to Chandler and Monica's wedding.

Quote from Janice

Monica: It's actually going to be just family.
Janice: Oh, wait. You two think of me as family? Oh, I have to ask you something now, and be honest. Do you want me to sing "Careless Whisper" or "Lady in Red"?

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Quote from Janice

Monica: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You have to go.
Janice: Why?
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you.
Janice: He does?
Chandler: Say again?
Monica: That's right. That's right. And that is why you can't stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldn't come to the wedding.
Chandler: Feelings. Such strong feelings.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh, my God. I understand. I am so sorry. I'll go. Goodbye, Monica. I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, you call me when this goes in the pooper.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: Come on. So she comes to the wedding. Maybe it won't be so bad.
Chandler: You think she's just going to sit there quietly? You don't think she's going to want to make a toast? You don't think she's going to want to grab the microphone and sing "Part-Time Lover"?

Quote from Joey

Ross: Great, because people kept showing up. I think it's like a thing.
Joey: Now, hold on a second. Fifth floor, against that back wall?
Ross: Oh, for crying out loud!

Quote from Janice

Janice: Okay, I'm gonna need a comforter. But do you have a hypoallergenic one? Because otherwise I get very nasal. Do you have a cat? Ah. Because it's already happening. Ah. Do you hear that? Ah. Ah. Ah.
Chandler: Ah! Ah! Ah!

Quote from Chandler

Monica: She actually has a boyfriend herself. Name's Clark. She also invited herself to our wedding. Clark too.
Chandler: You said no, right?
Monica: Huh?
Chandler: You said no, right?
Monica: Well, she cornered me. She asked me if the wedding was in town. I mean, what was I supposed to do?
Chandler: Lie. How hard is that? "Your check's in the mail." "Oh, your baby's so cute." "I can't wait to read your book, Ross."

Quote from Monica

Monica: She sent the chicken back again?
Waitress: She said it's too dry now and she wants to explain to you how she wants it.
Monica: Fine. I'd like to meet this chicken expert. Send the colonel in.

Quote from Monica

Monica: Oh, my God. She's not gonna like the chicken that night either, is she?

Quote from Monica

Monica: So you would have just lied?
Chandler: Yes.
Monica: And it would really have been that easy?
Chandler: Yes.
Monica: Good. So do it Saturday night, because we're going to dinner with her and Clark. [mimics Janice's laugh]

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Come on, Joey, she's so perfect for you. I mean, she's sweet. She likes baseball. She had two beers at lunch.
Joey: My beers?!

Quote from Phoebe

Joey: Hey, don't start judging me. You're the one who's in love with her assistant. And you, you're the one who is having the affair with the guy who keeps pigeons on the roof.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Secret affair.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Let me ask you something. At your school, was there a place on campus where students went to fool around?
Rachel: Yeah, there was. In the corner of the library where all these dusty books were that nobody ever read- Yes, there was.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Excuse me. Hi, I'm a professor here. Do you know the paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437?
Guy: Well, yes. Just give me five minutes. I just have to find someone to cover my shift.
Ross: No, no, no!

Quote from Monica

Janice: I just cannot believe that Clark stood me up.
Monica: Oh, he may still show up.
Janice: What are you, stupid? It's been three hours.
Monica: Is that all?

Quote from Rachel

Erin: It's just, there's no real spark.
Phoebe: Didn't you sleep together?
Erin: Yeah.
Rachel: Tramp.

Quote from Phoebe

Erin:You know what? Maybe you could tell him I'm not interested in a serious relationship.
Phoebe: You mean, like, that you're kind of a loner?
Erin: Yeah, that'd be great.
Phoebe: And maybe that you're a real stronzo.
Erin: I'm sorry.
Phoebe: I guess Italian isn't one of the four languages you speak.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Wow. I guess it wasn't cupid that brought her here.
Phoebe: No, just a regular old flying dwarf.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: Joey?
Joey: Yeah?
Rachel: Do you want some pancakes?
Joey: Finally.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: I say we go with "Careless Whisper."

Quote from Janice

Janice: I was just wondering if I could maybe stay here with you. Just, I really feel like I need to be with family.
Monica: Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice, aren't they?

Quote from Monica

Monica: Just let her stay.
Chandler: No. If we let her stay, she will stay forever.
Monica: Kind of like your Barcalounger.
Chandler: Is that what you're thinking about right now?
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.


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