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‘The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Friends: The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate

101. The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate

Aired September 22, 1994

After Rachel leaves her fiancee at the altar, she moves in with Monica and plans a new independent life in New York. Meanwhile, Chandler and Joey help Ross after his divorce from Carol, and Monica is horrified to find out the guy she slept with lied to her.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: But I don't want to be single, okay? I just want to be married again.
[Rachel rushes into Central Perk wearing a wedding dress]
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!

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Quote from Rachel

Monica: You want to tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
Rachel: Oh, God, well, it started about a half-hour before the wedding. I was in this room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. When all of a sudden - Sweet 'N Low? - I realized I was more turned on by this gravy boat than Barry. And then I got really freaked out and that's when it hit me: How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but-

Quote from Chandler

Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Then stay out of my freezer.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Come on, Daddy, listen to me! It's like all of my life, everyone has always told me, "You're a shoe!" "You're a shoe!" "You're a shoe!" And then today I just stopped and said, What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse? Or a hat? No, I don't want you to buy me a hat! I'm saying that I am a hat. It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Quote from Ross

Ross: You know what's scary? What if there's only one woman for everybody? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it? Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her.

Quote from Joey

Joey: What are you talking about? One woman. That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream. Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. There's rocky road and cookie dough and, bing, cherry vanilla. You can get 'em with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. This is the best thing to happen to you! You got married. You were like, what, 8? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon!

Quote from Ross

Ross: This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can. I should have known.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I'm totally naked.
Phoebe: I've had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down and I realize there is a phone ... there.
Joey: Instead of?
Chandler: That's right!
Joey: Never had that one.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: All right, kids, I've got to get to work. If I don't input those numbers, it doesn't make much of a difference.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.

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